HES BLOODY BOUGHT ME A PRESENT

[binkyblinky]

We've just moved house and it's been an expensive year. I've just been sorting the kids gifts into piles and found one for me.

We agreed no gifts and I've got him absolutely nothing. Nothing from the children, I've stuck to the agreement.

He goes way above every year gifts wise and now I feel so guilty 🙁

@peppita

Did someone seriously say bedroom vouchers? Who does that? Gross. 🤢

Oh dear god, a married couple having a bit of fun sex in the privacy of their own bedroom! Shocking!

Maybe it was an adult with a sense of humour.

This^

Could you get him some expensive Whiskey ? Or does he like Cognac ?

Some expensive port and/or liqueur ?

@DappledThings

I feel so guilty

I wouldn't be feeling guilty, I'd be feeling really pissed off.

because someone tried to do something nice? Chill out, it's Christmas.

You can buy any kind of vouchers, or order anything on amazon or other, and just print the pic of whatever you bought and put it in an envelop. If you are short of cash, there might still be a book, a ticket for something he'd enjoy.

Go online and buy him a LairdShip it's printable,
Or a Monkey world adopt and ape.
The other one is you buy him a well in Africa,

Would he go for a pamper session? - facepack/shave, manicure, pedicure after foot soak then either foot massage or back massage with treats and drinks nearby for him to have....

Be clear if the bedroom vouchers are non-transferable.

because someone tried to do something nice? Chill out, it's Christmas
No, because he's ignored their agreement and tried to trip her up. It isn't doing something nice to put someone in a situation where they feel undermined and that they've done something wrong just by sticking to the agreement.

Eldest son says 'it isn't about gifts it's about friends and family, if he loves you and wants to be with you, that's the greatest gift of all. That's the meaning of Christmas'

Your son is the smart one. Accept it, don't faff around trying to match it.

But if money is tight and he is spending money you both agreed to save then after Xmas you need to agree spending boundaries and stick to them.

You agreed no presents. If he got you one, that’s on him. A present isn’t supposed to be an obligation for the giftee. It is something you give because you want to give. If he expects something back after buying you something, he is a selfish twat.

Be clear if the bedroom vouchers are non-transferable

🤣🤣🤣 brilliant.

No, because he's ignored their agreement and tried to trip her up. It isn't doing something nice to put someone in a situation where they feel undermined and that they've done something wrong just by sticking to the agreement.

if that's how you interpret a present, you really have big problems in your relationship

Why is he cross?! If he wanted them to be a surprise then why did he put them under the tree already?!

@Mulhollandmagoo

You could get him an e-voucher or some tickets? You make a little voucher for a weekend away and then book it in the new year when money is a little less tight maybe?

Also @peppita unless they're asking you to join in it doesn't matter what you think of the OP and her husband's bedroom activity! If it works for them and they're happy with it then it's not 'properly grim' at all

It's gross that women feel they have to give sex in return for gifts. Especially if it was agreed upon in advance that no gifts would be exchanged. These things affect all women, and that's what women need to realise. Our individual decisions affect other women. So I'll call something gross when it's gross.

@hansgrueber what's humorous about feeling you owe your partner sex? Or feeling that something like sex can be used in exchange for gifts he gives you that you've not asked for. Guess sexual coercion is hilarious for some, not for me.

@heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping

No, because he's ignored their agreement and tried to trip her up. It isn't doing something nice to put someone in a situation where they feel undermined and that they've done something wrong just by sticking to the agreement.

if that's how you interpret a present, you really have big problems in your relationship

I really don't! I know we respect each other enough to be clear about what we both want without any game playing. He knows I'd be annoyed by breaking a straightforward agreement we'd made so wouldn't do it and nor would I.

OP has ended up feeling guilty and in a scramble round at the last minute for something having been blindsided. How is putting anyone in that position doing something nice for them?

@Tal45

Bedroom vouchers are only grim if you don't want to do the things on the voucher with the person you're giving them to surely?? I'm guessing OP is perfectly happy having sex with her OH so I don't see what's grim.

And when you've been guilted into it?

@Stilldamngorgeous

Why the outrage at bedroom vouchers? Not everyone's cup of tea, but some of us love sex and get quite a lot of fun out of it! I don't think the OP is suggesting she unwillingly prostitutes herself and, if two people fancy the pants off each other, it is rather a lovely idea.

The fact that OP feels guilty about not getting a gift, which was something agreed upon, so feels she now has to give him vouchers for sex... that's not gross to people?

Call me weird, call me a killjoy, but I only have sex when I and the other person wants to. Not when I've been guilted into it.

You've been ambushed. Hate this with a passion. No gifts means no fucking gifts.

@TeenageMutantNinjaCovid

Homemade vouchers. Not to be opened in front of the children.

💥

peppita
Did someone seriously say bedroom vouchers? Who does that? Gross. 🤢

Martin Lewis actually recommended this I. Prime time tv

Martin Lewis? He is a man right? As if Martin Lewis' endorsement means anything

@peppita I notice you've even told the OP how to think!

Fair enough, it's not your thing. No problem, don't do it. I'm going to though. Blinking brilliant idea

It's gross that women feel they have to give sex in return for gifts. Especially if it was agreed upon in advance that no gifts would be exchanged. These things affect all women, and that's what women need to realise. Our individual decisions affect other women. So I'll call something gross when it's gross.

I need to have it explained to me how something between consenting adults in the privacy of their relationship can possibly impact on anyone else. Some people’s relationships must be so lacking in joy or humour.

@Lindtballsrock @Dahlietta I'm a huge Metallica fan. I've seen them 12 times, seeing them in Lisbon was incredible

We met a couple who had travelled from Canada to Portugal to see them!

@Tal45

Bedroom vouchers are only grim if you don't want to do the things on the voucher with the person you're giving them to surely?? I'm guessing OP is perfectly happy having sex with her OH so I don't see what's grim.

This was my take on it too.

No one is suggesting the OP should give sex in return for gifts. Just that such a voucher is a fun riposte to a partner who has somewhat irritatingly gone and got you a pressie.

This scenario assumes a couple who happily have sex. It would be equally fine/funthe other way round.

Tis the season of joy after all (and that kind of joy may be all any of us can muster this year.)