Would you be annoyed with this.

[Rudolph98]

Oh took kids over to see in laws to have a run around the garden and do gifts. We can meet in groups or 6 outside here. I’ll probably be told I’m being unreasonable or petty.

DS had one largeish gift that was awkward to wrap so it was unwrapped.

Dd had a pile of wrapped presents. Maybe 7 gifts.

Monetary value it was probably similar. DS gift was probably quite expensive.

So she probably spent similar amounts.

But DS has additional needs and doesn’t really understand the value of things money wise. He sees the value of things in quantity which isn’t ideal. He compared his one gift to a pile of presents Dd had.

He hasn’t really said much but said he didn’t have any presents to open just the unwrapped one.

Aibu to think this is a bit naughty?! And she could have bought him something to unwrap. He’d be happy with anything. Selection boxes, items from the pound shop etc. He just wanted something to
open.

He is only 8 and young for his age. If he was older he may understand. Also mil isn’t his biological grandmother but usually treats him as good as her own. Dd is her only bio grandchild.

Aibu to be annoyed? It’s too late to say anything. They will have plenty tomorrow just feel it’s a bit pants.

I know it’s often easier to buy little bits for girls. DS is hard to shop for. But he would have been happy with anything as above.

The OP isn’t having a strop she just feels bad for her kid and is venting. The situation is just another reminder that life for a child with SN is just that little bit (or sometimes much) harder. It’s really not that hard to understand and be a little empathetic but most posters would prefer to jump in and be unkind.

Yes YABU.

Also mil isn’t his biological grandmother but usually treats him as good as her own

She spent the same amount. Ok, he couldn’t unwrap it but going out and buying a gift and treating both children the same is more then a lot of other grandparents do. There’s a thread running now about grandparents who send money and expect the parents to go out, buy and wrap the gifts.

I acknowledge the additional needs at play here however I think you could very gently explain the reason why grandma couldn’t wrap the very big present and isn’t it lucky that he’ll have lots of presents to unwrap tomorrow.

Maybe your in-laws don't truly understand your son's SN?
I'd treat this as a learning curve and try to find a way of explaining the value of things.
This could be done by playing 'shop' with your son.
I fully appreciate that this isn't going to make the current situation any easier but I'm not sure that there's much you can do about it other than to educate your in-laws about his understanding of presents and their relative value.

I’d be very grateful she had spent the same on him as her actual grand daughter. Perhaps remind him he gets gifts from his family too which your DD won’t. At 5/6 children can comprehend that.

Its ok to be upset. I would too but I wouldn't hold a grudge over it x

There’s 2 ways to look at this.

Either she’s don’t it on purpose to show you/him that’s he’s not as important as dd

Or she’s made a mistake, people do.

You have two ways to look at it too.

You can hold a grudge and let it ruin your/his/dh/dd relationships

Or you can be a bit cross for a bit and move on.