Would you be annoyed with this.

[Rudolph98]

Oh took kids over to see in laws to have a run around the garden and do gifts. We can meet in groups or 6 outside here. I’ll probably be told I’m being unreasonable or petty.

DS had one largeish gift that was awkward to wrap so it was unwrapped.

Dd had a pile of wrapped presents. Maybe 7 gifts.

Monetary value it was probably similar. DS gift was probably quite expensive.

So she probably spent similar amounts.

But DS has additional needs and doesn’t really understand the value of things money wise. He sees the value of things in quantity which isn’t ideal. He compared his one gift to a pile of presents Dd had.

He hasn’t really said much but said he didn’t have any presents to open just the unwrapped one.

Aibu to think this is a bit naughty?! And she could have bought him something to unwrap. He’d be happy with anything. Selection boxes, items from the pound shop etc. He just wanted something to
open.

He is only 8 and young for his age. If he was older he may understand. Also mil isn’t his biological grandmother but usually treats him as good as her own. Dd is her only bio grandchild.

Aibu to be annoyed? It’s too late to say anything. They will have plenty tomorrow just feel it’s a bit pants.

I know it’s often easier to buy little bits for girls. DS is hard to shop for. But he would have been happy with anything as above.

YABU. It's our job as parents to explain things like this to children in an age appropriate way!

How else do we learn?

Not usually one to be harsh but really agree with brefugee here.

Almost 70,000 people are dead in the UK alone and being mourned by their families as we speak and you're bitching that your thoughtful MiL got your son an expensive present but didn't take his SN enough into account to wrap it?

Good lord, get some perspective love.

actually i didn't mean to come across as so mean. I get that it's difficult to explain things like this to children, but you have to try or else life is going to be a constant series of slaps in the face.

Why have they opened their presents already? Christmas Day is tomorrow.

@Dozer

YABU: harder to explain cost etc to a DC with additional needs, but still possible to try. MiL not U.

I think this says it well.

I think a lot of people on here are responding as they see it, as an adult.

as a child, I think I would of thought my brother had got way more than me even if I was the one who had a bigger present. that's just the way you think as a child isnt it! and at 8, I wouldn't understand I was being treated differently because they weren't my biological grandparents, especially if they had been in my life since I was a baby.

obviously, your MIL hasnt really done anything wrong, but I understand why your son will see it the way he does.

@Rudolph98 Maybe you should tell your MIL about not being happy the present was unwrapped.

Save the poor woman the bother of next year buying unwanted presents.

I had to deliver day-old, squashed sandwiches to a single mum today, because she had no food to give her kids.

Get a grip.

Yep, YABVVVVU

God almighty what the fuck is wrong with people?! Either the people being so fucking unpleasant haven't read that the DC has SN and a delayed developmental age, or you have read it and you just have an unpleasant mean character....

Hope you're OK @Rudolph98

If grandmother knew your DS would have liked something to unwrap and knew about the quantity issue you described beforehand then I think it was quite unthoughtful of her and I would be annoyed.

I'm sorry you're getting so much hate on this thread, they're being disrespectful.

It's a big deal to your son, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

I think it's ok to be disappointed sometimes as a child, I know as parents we want to try to protect our kids from everything especially if they have SN but learning to be able to cope with some disappointment is I'd imagine pretty important for becoming more resilient as you get older.
You DS will get over this, keep bigging up what a big, special, expensive present he got and tomorrow when he has lots of things to open it will be forgotten about. It's probably a bigger deal to you because you have such empathy than it is for him.

I'd make a big big fuss of ds gift. How wonderful it is, it's the best thing he could have got etc etc. Depending on his SEN needs this might be all he needs. Or get together a social social (available online) to talk about how nice it is when people give us things whether it's one big one or many little one.

Social story I meant

Show him with coins. Give him a pound coin and a handful of small change. Point out the pound coin buys more than the handful. He won’t get it at once, but being a kid is about learning life lessons a bit at a time. Reinforce the gift was a generous one rather than letting your own views cloud your response.

Clearly most of the people posting have no experience of learning disabilities. My brother would have felt exactly the same when he was younger. His concept of money is still not really there and he is 38! Having delayed development means that a child might struggle with concepts or tasks that a younger child would take in their stride.

YABU just explain it to him if he's bothered by quantity over quality. It's a life lesson.

I some people are being hugely unkind and don’t have the brain cells to take into account your DC’s SN. I get it and I understand. If it helps I think You’re probably feeling worse about it than your DS is but I get it we’re over protective of our children who don’t quite understand the world the way others do and we’re conscious of their lives already being harder so it makes us more sensitive to these little things.
I remember ds was younger and had no concept of money you could go into a gift shop and he’d be as happy with a 50p toy as he would a £100 toy as long as it’s what caught his eye. We got good at not letting his eyes fall in the £100 toys!

@sausagepastapot

I had to deliver day-old, squashed sandwiches to a single mum today, because she had no food to give her kids.

Get a grip.

Perhaps you could have made her some fresh ones then?

Its a bit sad, I can understand, for your DS. and of course hard to explain to him. But what do you do when its not his birthday for example, are you wrapping gifts for him so he doesn't feel left out? I wonder is this something that you will always need to do? Maybe on SEN boards they have answers to this as its something I've seen many times before. (My DD is 17 and has special needs but not this particular one I have to say, I'm thinking how would I handle it if she did ).

But YABU to blame the grandmother unless she did it to be nasty. Maybe slightly thoughtless. Do you believe she was being cruel?

I some people are being hugely unkind and don’t have the brain cells to take into account your DC’s SN.

I understand the child being upset,but not the op having a strop.

The Mil treated them the same.If the Mil had given the boy a selection box and the other DC a bike I'd be inclined to agree.

But that's not what happened.The MIL is trying to treat them both equally.

The onus is on the actual parent to manage their child.So the op needs to have a chat with her son.