To ask for your culinary disasters to make me feel better?

[polkadotpjs]

Ive just poured Yorkshire puddings batter onto my trifle sponge and fruit instead of the whites chocolate custard. FFS

I've just curdled my custard for my trifle and will have to start again

You should serve up your yorkie trifle and see if anyone notices

Mine was horrendous. I was making a Thai dressing for salmon and broccoli and I accidentally tipped a tablespoon of Thai fish sauce into the glass of white wine I had just poured myself instead of the glass next to it in which I was mixing the dressing.
Wine with fish sauce in it turns out to be vile.

Made a chicken noodle sir fry for dh. Thought I was pouring soy sauce on it...it was actually balsamic vinegar . I still served it and bless him he ate without saying a word.

Glad it's not just just me. I slung all cheesecake ingredients into the mixer bowl then read that I was supposed to gently sift the, hour, beat the eggs one at a time etc. Hope it's still edible as it's out dessert tomorrow.

@Plonque

You should serve up your yorkie trifle and see if anyone notices

Or alternatively bake the battered trifle sponge and fruit and claim it’s a clafoutis from a particularly obscure region of France. Traditionally served on Christmas Eve with white chocolate custard.

I licked the spoon as the white chocolate custard spoon is my treat and recoiled and thought it was weird but carried on tipping it into an even layer. Then glanced over to see the unused white chocolate looking at me.

I once chopped all the meat, vegetables etc for dinner. Picked up the bpard to take it over the cooker... And dropped the lot.
DH handed me a beer, ordered takeaway and cleared up the mess.

I made a cauliflower cheese that had to be strained through a sieve once?

Oh you poor thing, that's horrible. Could you pretend you're having a Friends themed evening and add some beef mince as well?

Not mine, but my dad's.

My mum had cooked spag bol, and told my dad to dish it up once the spaghetti was done, whilst she popped supermarket. My mum came back and realised all the plated spaghetti bol was in the bin.

My dad didn't drain the spaghetti, he literally plated watery spaghetti on our plates and dumped the sauce on top. He has never lived that down.

Cook it and serve with custard, could be a revelation

Clafoutis trifle. Love it!!

In the early days of dating DH made spaghetti Bolognese for me. It turned out that he didn't know the difference between a clove and a bulb of garlic. I have never tasted anything like it.

The thought of him carefully peeling a while bulb does make me chuckle though.

I carefully strained the veggies out of my veggie gravy, and tipped the gravy down the sink instead of chuck8ng the very soggy veg. A couple of hours chopping, stirring, tasting and it went straight down the drain .

I'm back to report my success with my second batch of custard but I've done my knee in coming up the stairs 😭 I blame you lot!
No idea what I did, third step up it just gave in!

I made a very expensive fish pie with Bailey's cream instead of double cream 🤢

@Ohtherewearethen

I made a very expensive fish pie with Bailey's cream instead of double cream 🤢

I made a Victoria sponge for DS’ birthday, put the tins on a baking tray to put in the oven, one tin slipped and the other one followed rapidly after. Both ended up on the floor. Fortunately the tins were lined with those cake tin liners which come all the way up the tins so the mixture was (mostly) confined to those, so I just scooped them up and threw them out and then still had to clean the floor.

Fortunately I had more ingredients in the cupboard and quickly made another one before DS came home and found out....

Not me but my friend. While carefully transporting two tins of cake batter to the waiting oven, she managed to drop both of them upside down, splattering the inside of the oven as well as herself and the floor. While she was going to get the cleaning stuff, she had forgotten to both shut the oven and turn it off, so the splattered cake batter had baked onto the interior of the oven. She then tried to scrape it off while it was still hot and burnt herself. She's never tried to bake a red velvet cake again! Or any sort of cake to be fair

The worst disaster of mine that I can think of is a pineapple upside-down cake that didn't rise. It was more of a pineapple upside-down biscuit.

I once made a lovely French Onion soup, and then picked up a colander, wandered over to the sink and poured it away leaving me with just the onions. To this day I have no idea why I did it.

My wife stood there, open mouthed while I did it, and then had to sit down as she was laughing so hard.

We enjoyed the winey/beefy onions with our croutons.

I have done the ‘lovingly spend hours making stock then pour it down the sink’ thing.
Now every time I make stock I concentrate very hard indeed when I get to the draining stage.

Over did the par boiling of our potatoes and over cooked the pecan pie for dessert. I told DH to not leave me doing the food and take dog and child out for a walk! (We do Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve - might decide to do a do-over tomorrow if its too bad!)

I made up some bacon butter this morning. I over did the twirling and the cling film broke covering me, the walls and the cabinets in said bacon butter.

It even got into my ear.

Strained whole pot of chicken stock into the sink and when I stared at pike of bones in colander it dawned on me what I’ve done.

Strained peas holding sieve upside down. Bastard peas flew everywhere and I saw green everywhere as my glasses steamed up.

Burnt, too much salt stuff is the usual here.

*pile