Mil standing at window

[Spied]

Just received a text from mil telling me herself and fil would be visiting in the morning to stand at the window and watch the dc open their presents (of which none are from them as they don't do gifts. They put money in an envelope).
Would it be unreasonable to keep the blinds shut and ignore any door knocking?

I can understand that they want to see the grandkids on Christmas day but I don't get this phenomenon of opening presents as a kind of performance to be watched. Wouldn't a short walk together be nicer and less awkward?

@Iloveacurry

I think the big issue here is that the ILs apparently don’t do presents and seem to think putting money in an envelope is adequate. Anyone with a bit of money can do that. The fact is they want to see the grandchildren open their presents from everyone else, when they can’t be arsed to do presents themselves.

Yes be kind, etc. But realistically the IL can’t be bothered.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with giving money. That way the children will be able to spend it on something they really want.

ILs that didn't care wouldn't give anything.

Money was given weeks ago directly to children so it's not for me to go buying gifts with.
Dc are expected to save this money.

Oh dear OP, I feel for you!

The point about cash in an envelope is surely the fact that the DGC won’t be opening presents from the GPs? Nothing wrong with giving cash, it’s just a bit odd when you haven’t sent a present, to want to watch the rest of the presents being opened in these circumstances.
It is manipulative and rude IMO just to announce they are doing this. Why not have a chat with OP or better yet their DGC and find out what works for everyone?
Unless the GC have dementia or other cognitive issues there is no reason they couldnt have learned to FaceTime or Zoom, this year of all years!
If I were you, OP, I’d let my DH sort this out!

Watching children open their presents is just lovely.

I'd let them. It doesn't hurt anyone.

They wouldn’t have cared that we felt uncomfortable, it was all about them and their feelings superseding everyone else’s.

Oh, the irony!

Also OP, how old are the ILs?

I actually think money is a good present, and wouldn't see it as them not having bothered. It's hard sometimes to know what is the best thing to buy.

If a child loves a certain thing, say Lego, they might like to be able to buy the exact thing they wanted. One of my nephews was great for that. I wouldn't have known which of a particular game he had, and he was very happy to gather Christmas and birthday money together for a particular one.

I have seen, in one case with a family member, one set of grandparents buy big and expensive gifts. The parents don't have a very big house, and that's another issue.

Children often get so much at Christmas, they don't have time to appreciate it all, or play with it.

Late 60's Tornado

Personally I'd say that the present opening takes a long time and they'll get cold being outside throughout. Also you're not sure of the timing. But invite them for a mince pie and a cup of tea in the garden for half an hour at some point in the day. The kids can show them what they got.
(And yes, you have a scheduled zoom call with someone else for whatever time that half hour is up, so they won't be staying longer)

I wouldn’t agree to this. The children will be embarrassed to be on display like that. There’s a performance element to it, with the grandparents standing outside looking in with tears running down their faces. Like a Christmas commercial. 🙄

My DM has asked to zoom to see my DCs opening their presents. Which is nice but... "your dad [separate houses but one bubble] will be here at 11" - well as my DC are 8 and 6 and the older one has SEN did you really think they'd be opening their presents past 8 am?
I've said we'll do WhatsApp video for the stockings if she doesn't mind early and DH can go and have his shower if he doesn't want MIL watching him in bed.

Our days are generally so random that any appointment/video call e.g. therapy has to either be scheduled with a careful build up for DS or spur of the moment for DD "OK you have actually finished your lunch and we have 15 minutes before we have to go out, let's talk to granny now eh?"

As I suspected! Not even elderly, really, then.

Get the kids to cut out some mustaches and hats and stick them on the inside of the window.

Do they see them opening presents on normal Christmas days?

Could you offer a compromise?

Zoom call or video when the children are opening presents, saving one which is nominally from PIL to the value of the money they gave. Sell this as you not wanting them to wait outside for hours in the cold. Arrange to meet them outside later in the morning for a quick walk ( if allowed in your area) and the children can open that present at a safe distance.

@Spied

Money was given weeks ago directly to children so it's not for me to go buying gifts with. Dc are expected to save this money.

So they want to watch the DCs opening presents from other people? They can have a video!

This thread is hilarious.

Its a bit Little Matchstick Girl, peering in the windows.

Ah, have cross posted with your post about the money.

You could put mirrored window film up

@Toilenstripes

I wouldn’t agree to this. The children will be embarrassed to be on display like that. There’s a performance element to it, with the grandparents standing outside looking in with tears running down their faces. Like a Christmas commercial. 🙄

No, it really needn't be like that. They can wave and interact, they could even shout through the window or put up written messages.

OP, I can't see how it would hurt you to agree to this.

@PicsInRed

"Sorry, we keep the curtains closed for maximum economy."

😂

Technology is a total no-go with them.
DP has tried to help set them up with things but they can't get the hang of it dont want to.