Mil standing at window

[Spied]

Just received a text from mil telling me herself and fil would be visiting in the morning to stand at the window and watch the dc open their presents (of which none are from them as they don't do gifts. They put money in an envelope).
Would it be unreasonable to keep the blinds shut and ignore any door knocking?

Well if they don't usually and wasn't even planning on seeing them this year then that would be a fat no. Especially as they are assuming your DH will cave and invite them in. I would be scheming and saying sorry the kids just woke up at 4am so they opened them then so don't get up expecially. That is the thing the kids can't open them when they want as they are going to have to wait for the audience. Madness

It’s a no from me.

Sorry but I’m also in the ‘silver lining’ camp that tier 4 means we have a legitimate reason to have our own Christmas Day at home. First time ever.

When I was a child and my GPS came for Christmas lunch we used to have to wait until they arrived mid-morning before we opened presents under the tree. We did have a sack at the end of our bed from Santa so had some gifts to play with/eat but we had to wait for the rest. Didn't bother us.

Do you only get pleasure from watching children open the presents from you or do you like to see what they get from other people too?

What do the children want?

Do people actually RTFT before they tell the OP she is vile etc
They are only doing this to try and make the OP feel guilty.
They hadnt planned to see their GC at all until their plans were cancelled.
So wierd

I'd feel mighty uncomfortable coming to watch presents being opened knowing none were from me
Dc are very grateful for the cash and it was very kind of them.

Why would OP buy a present with the value of IL’s money when the IL’s have given the DC the money directly and told them it is to be saved not spent?

I’d tell them not to come around as you have no idea when the dc will be up to unwrap gifts, but you’ll face time them when you all do presents.

They sound manipulative, they want to come in to your house and this is the way they’re going to get around the covid rules.

@Tenyearsgone

I have to go and wave to my mum through a care home window on Christmas day.

So now I know that MN thinks it's creepy and weird. Me, I think it's heartbreaking.

That really isn't the same thing at all. I'm sorry that's the only interaction you'll get with your mum tomorrow. And it's not creepy and weird.

And it's different to putting Easter eggs on the doorstep and standing back. That's relatively short and can be done any time during the day.

Watching the DGCs opening their presents from other people on the other hand? Like I said before I'd feel like I was in a goldfish bowl, having to keep holding up presents to the window so that they can see, pushing (or being pushed by the ILs to push) the DCs to hurry up because they're cold stood outside, constantly having to smile and wave.

My next door neighbour is “allowing” his parents to come to the front garden at 10.30am tomorrow to see the children through the window, despite the fact that his wife’s parents and her 98 year old grandmother are coming for lunch. And despite the fact that yesterday he brought the children to my front door to deliver a parcel delivered to them in error.

@JingleFails yes I have and I still stand by my opinion. I’ve taken my children to wave through the window of a few people recently and it’s made their day. There isn’t necessarily an expectation to be let in. OP clearly has issues with her in laws and the tone of this thread is unkind and cruel in my opinion.

@Toilenstripes

I wouldn’t agree to this. The children will be embarrassed to be on display like that. There’s a performance element to it, with the grandparents standing outside looking in with tears running down their faces. Like a Christmas commercial. 🙄

...with tears running down their faces

Maybe it's all a set up, OP!

@Slingsanderrors I assume that is the 3 household rule. Maybe his wife has favoured her family over his, or maybe they are vulnerable and don't want to go in the house.

A bit odd, but if that's what they want, I don't see the harm tbh

[quote Frogsandsheep]@JingleFails yes I have and I still stand by my opinion. I’ve taken my children to wave through the window of a few people recently and it’s made their day. There isn’t necessarily an expectation to be let in. OP clearly has issues with her in laws and the tone of this thread is unkind and cruel in my opinion.[/quote]
Do you think it unkind that the GP wouldnt have bothered with their GC at all if their plans hadnt been cancelled?
They made their own bed ...

I wouldn't allow it. At all. Just say the DC haven't got any presents from them, so no presents to unwrap. You need to stand firm, tell her no, that the blinds will be closed. You realise if you say yes, the kids will see grandma and want her invited in. So, there goes the risk prevention. Say you will be opening presents nowhere near any windows and you don't want them coming over due to the risk, as their grandmother you hope she understands. This is how the virus spreads. You know darn well she is hoping the DC see her and invite her in. Put your foot down and say NO.

I would say we would say hello on our walk after lunch. Then it becomes something smaller without the loaded expectation that you will have to invite them in etc.

Text back and tell them you, DP and the DC will be standing outside their window later on to watch them eat their Christmas dinner?

I love my MIL but would still be put out at the thought of being told what was going to happen. Surely it's polite to at least ask if it would be okay etc?

Did you try to organise anything else with them when you knew their plans were cancelled?

They gave money as a gift but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be involved in Christmas. Perhaps if you called over to visit them it would be easier as then you can leave when you like. If your dc are at school though, they are much more risky than pil. I'd offer something a bit better if you don't want them at the window

My parents and MIL didn't used to come to us for Christmas as they had older relatives to see/look after, who couldn't cope with young grandchildren around. I never viewed it as they didn't care about DC. Once these relatives died they were able to come to us for Christmas (unfortunately not this year, so will be doing doorstep and zoom Christmases). So maybe the GPs were seeing other relatives and can't because of COVID.

That would really annoy me. Does that mean you have to wait until they're there before the kids open their pressies?!?! What if they get up and want to open at 7am?

I'd tell them not to come as the kids will be up really early...what a cheek

They are trying to set you up to let them in and that is really unfair of them as they see so many people.

I bet they have mobile phones.

Get them set up on WhatsApp today and video call them tomorrow.

I would tell them this is the only option.

I get why you’re annoyed as my ExMIL used to come up with odd solutions like this and present them as a fait accomplit.

Why don’t you offer to say goodnight to them on Christmas Eve- you can hold the ladder and DH can climb up to rap on the bedroom window

I think telling them it’s scheduled for 5am is the easiest way out

Op I'd definitely acknowledge them, are you able to pass drinks out?

I'd then probably offer them the organic option, so the dc don't act stiff...

It would be a no from me. I liked what someone said about saying how you are trying not to panic the kids over Covid.

I'd send the "please don't..." text suggested up thread.