Mil standing at window

[Spied]

Just received a text from mil telling me herself and fil would be visiting in the morning to stand at the window and watch the dc open their presents (of which none are from them as they don't do gifts. They put money in an envelope).
Would it be unreasonable to keep the blinds shut and ignore any door knocking?

What time are they expecting this present opening to happen? If they turned up at my window after about 6.30am they'd have missed it!

I'm hoping this thread is a wind up as surely nobody could be that vile.
Pay per view my arse!

@Rhiannon13 I agree sad I’m spending most of today ringing lonely elderly people and also recently bereaved people.
This thread has actually made me really sad

Horrible isn't it @Frogsandsheep? I had no idea how badly elderly people are treated until I became a care worker. All those years bringing their kids up and leading meaningful lives, to end up being treated as though they're an inconvenience. I get that window visits aren't ideal but nothing about this year is, is it?

Unless they usually come round on Christmas morning to watch DGC open presents then that's abit creepy.

What about video calls?or are they hoping to be invited in?

@PortiasPlumUpduffedPudding

My Mother would tan my arse for being so bitchy Good God isn't it bad enough this year without virtue signalling nastiness. Did you accept the money for your kids then or did you hand it back with a flourish, bet you'll take inheritance too but I'd cut you out anyway as don't need such petty bitchiness in my life

100% agree, I was thinking no respect. I would never speak like that of my inlaws no matter how difficult they can be and if OH ever spoke about my parents like that I would be so angry!!!! Show some respect OP.

Better that then come inside and risk catching Covid from one of you. Agree a time, do DCs presents first.

They won't stay too long. Leave a mince pie on the doorstep for them.

@Chaotic45 thank you. I’m a vicar so to some degree it’s my job but also I do it because I want to. I see so much loneliness and pain. I’ve done 3 funerals in the past couple of weeks, found out 3 more people have died this week and on top of that I also can’t see any of my own family. I’m rather heartbroken this Christmas and this thread is horrible x

op did say they werent even going to see them at all tomorrow if plans hadnt had to change so i dont see why theyre so desprate to see them

I think, or at least I hope @spied was attempting to be light hearted posting this.
I think it a wonderfully bonkers thing to do, and will be remembered for years by your DC if you welcome and celebrate them being part of your Christmas, even through a window frame.

It's a no from me.. very odd I'd feel really uncomfortable having family staring in my window!

Whereabouts are you?
Can we come round and watch too?

I'm a perfectly reasonable person.
I just find it weird.
I'll feel uncomfortable.
Dc will feel pressured and uncomfortable.
DP will feel uncomfortable.
Hanging in the air will be the unsaid notion from all that I should just let them in.
Mil will have 'that' pitiful sad face that says 'poor them'.
It's not what we want for Christmas morning and it's not the ideal start to an already 'different' Christmas.

My comments about not acknowledging them were light-hearted.

Most pre teens/teens like money, DS(15) has had money from GPs for quite a few years.Have done vouchers also in the past, but didn't want to do them this year just in case couldn't use them or the company went bust.

I would arrange a time for window visit. So they can thank GPs for the money and wish them Happy Christmas. Make it clear that it can only be a window visit. Many families will be doing the same this year.

If my DM was on the ground floor rather than the first floor of her block of retirement flats we would have gone to hers and stood by her patio windows and done the opening of presents that way.

@Frogsandsheep

That's a fantastic thing to do, thank you for all the support you are giving. Sadly in our village we haven't seen hide nor hair of the present incumbent since this whole saga began. ☹️

It would be great if we could all take a little time to contact those we know will be on their own this year.

Merry Christmas to you, better times are coming. x

Isn't today the day when you're covering your lounge windows with frosted glass effect spray to make snow scenes? 🤔

Thanks @Hopeisnotastrategy and I’m sorry to hear that’s been your experience. Sending love and prayers this Christmas x

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Whereabouts are you? Can we come round and watch too?

This thread could be outing. Look out of your windows Christmas morning.

It is weird and it will be uncomfortable but that's how it goes. I have similarly oppressive inlaws but they love my children like noone else does save for me and my husband and that's a big deal.

I would firm up today that you are so sorry you won't be able to invite them in. Use the phrase "so it's not hanging over us".
It's going to be cold tomorrow so they won't stay long.
Honestly I would work with them on this.

"I'm a perfectly reasonable person.
I just find it weird.
I'll feel uncomfortable.
Dc will feel pressured and uncomfortable.
DP will feel uncomfortable.
Hanging in the air will be the unsaid notion from all that I should just let them in.
Mil will have 'that' pitiful sad face that says 'poor them'.
It's not what we want for Christmas morning and it's not the ideal start to an already 'different' Christmas.

My comments about not acknowledging them were light-hearted. "

You do realise, OP, that your children are observing your behaviour and will model theirs on it? You’re teaching them that grandparents are to be despised and treated like a nuisance. Hopefully this will bite your bum in 2040 or so.

.... you are however perfectly entitled to find it funny and to laugh at them.
It's a bit Cathy at Heathcliff's window isn't it?

Could you go out with a cuppa and a mince pie and chat for 10mins this would make it clear you weren't going to invite them in while still being friendly.

It'll be bloody freezing outside, and kids can take ages opening pressies! If you're not in tier 4 could you not just let them in for a cuppa? As it would be withing the rules!

Otherwise I'd just offer to facetime them, leaving them standing at the window will make everyone uncomfortable

So they give money. And show interest. ..
And you want to just pull down the blinds and pretend their there? Wow. Talk about having a cold heart

www.zealous.co/keristrev/project/Cathy-at-The-Window/

That is all fine - until parents, both grannies and and aunt and uncle all listen, observe and decide to buy the same thing - yes we did have the Christmas of the five garages! Plenty of people moan about receiving "tat" from grandparents (which could well be things that are long and hard thought about and the child's hearts desire) or about parents "stealing their thunder" because they were going to buy X item. Especially this year when in some areas shops are shut anywhere older people are trying to limit exposure and for people who can't /don't want to travel to deliver gifts cash is fine. My DS has most cash/gift cards from the family this year. We have gone for the several small presents rather than a few more expensive ones so he has plenty to open. Unfortunately DM is over 300 miles away so this isn't an option but if she was close enough and wanted to I would be happy to let her watch while keeping herself safe.