Mil standing at window

[Spied]

Just received a text from mil telling me herself and fil would be visiting in the morning to stand at the window and watch the dc open their presents (of which none are from them as they don't do gifts. They put money in an envelope).
Would it be unreasonable to keep the blinds shut and ignore any door knocking?

@Rhiannon13

They put money in an envelope

Your reaction to this makes me so sad OP. You don't really like your husband's parents do you? Just remember your kids are taking all this in and will likely grow up to be as caring as you are.

This. Money is commonly given to preteens. You don't sound very nice OP. It wouldn't hurt to let them watch surely?

I imagine them shimmy-ing round the back afterwards to watch you eat your Christmas dinner.

To clarify I wouldn't be in the nude just realised my bra comment was possibly misleading.

I just wouldn't want anyone else to see my saggy tits flapping about in my pjs.

Anyway enough of my tits...I'm torn because it has been a wank year but I'd find it really odd passing presents and nodding/smiling at the window every 30 seconds.

And money is a great present for dcs of all ages!

I'm so glad I'm working on Christmas Day, as it would appear that we care about the relatives of some of you more than you do British attitudes to the elderly are shocking and this thread highlights that. I'm out. Hope you all have a great Christmas.

I think the point is, it's manipulation in order to get invited inside, and the OP says she is not comfortable with that as they are not being cautious with social distancing. I wouldn't want people who mixed a lot in my house either and wouldn't appreciate the emotional blackmail.

We've just had Nanna stand in the porch with the door open and we've opened some gifts 3m down the hallway / it's shit but she really wanted to see DS open his stuff.

I would have hated that if I was a kid a lot of pressure on you when people watch you opening presents.
I’m not a kid or a grandparent in 2020 though, so maybe I’d have felt differently!

I FaceTime my grandkids on Christmas morning. They like to do a little show of what they've got. Be brass monkeys outside tomorrow sod that lol

@Pluckedpencil

I think the point is, it's manipulation in order to get invited inside, and the OP says she is not comfortable with that as they are not being cautious with social distancing. I wouldn't want people who mixed a lot in my house either and wouldn't appreciate the emotional blackmail.

I was going to type out a long diatribe of my thoughts but really this. They are manipulating the OP.

How will they know what time to arrive? Or are they expecting you to wait to start opening presents until they’ve decided to turn up?

@Rhiannon13 I agree I’m spending most of today ringing lonely elderly people and also recently bereaved people.
This thread has actually made me really sad

It's the telling not asking that would bother me. I wouldn't dream of doing this. I might say I've had an idea and would like to do this what do you think? But would never say I'm doing this.

My Mother would tan my arse for being so bitchy Good God isn't it bad enough this year without virtue signalling nastiness.
Did you accept the money for your kids then or did you hand it back with a flourish, bet you'll take inheritance too but I'd cut you out anyway as don't need such petty bitchiness in my life

Why can't you set up a zoom or FaceTime on your laptop/iPad if you have one and they can watch like this.

Just send a text to say ...that would be very weird

OP’s attitude is actually bordering on cruel in my opinion.

I feel a bit sorry for them, but I'm not sure mine would be happy waiting (until presumably later morning) for GPs to watch them open presents that didn't come from them!

I wouldn't mind them doing a window visit though, can speak and wave and show them the presents they have.

Gosh. Imagine them standing there with the puppy dog eyes. They'd probably try and get an article with the daily fail too nice pic of them looking sadly through the window!

How mean to say shall I keep the blinds shut. I feel so sorry for the grandparents. They’re not breaking the rules and obviously desperately love the grandchildren. It would be the highlight of their day for them seeing as Xmas is cancelled.

I hope all these MIL and FIL hater’s children grow up to realise their parents are unnecessary rude and entitled and develop good relationships with their grandparents regardless.

I had a unloving grandmother growing so I appreciate all the love my children receive from their grandparents. Don’t always think this is handed out in life.

I bet when the grandparents hand out money to these type of parents they become grabby very quickly!

@Frogsandsheep

OP’s attitude is actually bordering on cruel in my opinion.

Me too. Absolutely no need for it, especially all the dramatics about whether to acknowledge them or not. It's pathetic to be honest.

Wow, that is harsh towards your inlaws. I hope when your kids are older with their own partners, they don't feel the same about you. They are only wanting to see their grandchildren, stop being so mean.

I know a few people who give cash and I think it's quite lazy. If you spend a lot of time with someone then listen and observe and failing that ask them or their parents. After this it's really easy to please children. A quick observation would tell you if they like chocolate, sweets, arts and crafts or have a hobby and make up an inoffensive stocking.

My mil never buys me a present because "she wouldn't know what to buy me". How about listening and observing? On the other hand when I said I wasn't doing adult presents (see above comments why) I got told I buy lovely presents and they enjoy them. That's because I listen and notice stuff my heads not up my own arse

@Frogsandsheep that's such a lovely thing to do. I'm so glad there are lovely people like you around

I cant imagine how that would work unless your front window is quite low.

Why cant they just a few presents to open in the garden or by the door?

It sounds very uncomfortable but my garden is lower than the inside of my house, with bushes in front and stick on frosting across the bottom. So they would have to stand in Bush, on tip toes peeking over the frosting 🤣

I do feel for them. We all need to buy gazebos now to chat in the garden. Or two gazebos 12 foot apart maybe?

You are being very mean spirited, hardly the message of Christmas. This is a year like no other, and a bit of understanding and give and take will go a very long way for us all. If they are prepared to stand outside in the cold for a while then you can at least welcome them with good grace and put some refreshments outside.

I drove a long way yesterday to drop off my elderly sick father's presents, so at least he has them on the day. I didn't go in the house, just had a quick few words from the doorstep, it was icy and throwing it down with rain. That's the way it rolls this year,, and despite various posters suggesting it, there is nothing here to suggest they will try and wangle their way in. If they do, then a polite refusal with reference to the regulations will deal with it.

Invest a little kindness in your relationship with your in laws. It may well pay dividends for you all.