Mil standing at window

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Just received a text from mil telling me herself and fil would be visiting in the morning to stand at the window and watch the dc open their presents (of which none are from them as they don't do gifts. They put money in an envelope).
Would it be unreasonable to keep the blinds shut and ignore any door knocking?

Some of these responses............any excuse to excuse the in-laws I bet you all post ‘Be Kind’ on your Facebook status’ too. Having lost two very dear and close family members in the last 2 months, my advice to you would be not to be a cunt and at the end of an incredibly difficult year, let them see their dgc open some presents

In laws are the twins of 2020 on mumsnet

@Couchbettato

That’s a really strange interpretation of events.

Until the drip feed arrives I can not see the problem. Easter was full of GP leaving eggs on doorsteps and standing back. As for cash it’s the PIL cannot win the buy it’s Tat or thunder stealing, the ask or give money they are lazy and thoughtless.

If these were involved grandparents who’d lovingly chosen and wrapped presents for their grandkids and then messaged you to ask if it would be ok if they watched through the window - then I might suggest a zoom link, bit warmer.

But they’re not are they? Tell them you’ll send a video of the kids opening the presents they sent.

That is seriously crazy. How will they know what time you open presents?

I would prefer zoom, it’s ok to talk through the window but watching does feel a bit weird.
How old are DC ( I missed this bit)? It could be upsetting for them. And could MIL start crying? My mum would cry ( at least sniff noticeably) so I wouldn’t allow her this.

Dc are pre-teen.
In laws were supposed to be visiting a relative in London for Christmas so weren't planning on seeing the dc at all this Christmas day/week.
They don't come over every Christmas morning- did when the dc were younger.
I'm imagining them stood there like snowmen when I open the blinds. Quite unnerving.
Do I smile? Acknowledge them? Tell the kids to 'act natural'?
Pretend they're not there and offer an organic experience?
Will they be taking photos? Oh Lord.

@Boulshired Exactly!

My DS is 15 now and gets nothing off my in-laws, never has and they have never once offered to have him even for half an hour to give me a break.

I'd kill for them to show at least a smidgen of interest in him.

It hurts like hell as my own parents died young before he was born and would have been absolutely brilliant with him (SLD)

I think yabu to deny them any involvement but maybe the kids might find it upsetting to see them but not be able to really interact?
I'd offer to video call them so that they can see the kids that way.

Just when you think people couldn’t treat their ils with any more contempt, a post like this comes along. Merry fucking Christmas, OP, if your husband goes along with this stunning idea, I would be considering what kind of person I was married to.

I would offer to video call so they could stay warm, but say they were welcome to come to the window if they prefer. My children have had conver6woth family members through windows this year, as many pps have said this isn't a normal time and if you can bring a bit of joy to your in law's why not?

As for the giving cash, of much rather my children be given cash than something they won't use.

I think the big issue here is that the ILs apparently don’t do presents and seem to think putting money in an envelope is adequate. Anyone with a bit of money can do that. The fact is they want to see the grandchildren open their presents from everyone else, when they can’t be arsed to do presents themselves.

Yes be kind, etc. But realistically the IL can’t be bothered.

In my mind it looks like Village of the Damned.
What does your DH think? It's up to him to tell them not to be such fucking weirdos yes or no.

Sounds like a scene from a zombie movie! Don't they do digital? We're having a four-nation Zoom session tomorrow. We'll be able to talk and everything. I'd leave the curtains open if they persist, but I'd also leave the hose running tonight so they had to stand in a muddy puddle to see in.

My loving and caring MIL who passed recently always gave cash and even prepared her Xmas cards when she knew she was seriously ill with cash. Lots of people give cash. People are weird sometimes

@Iloveacurry

My parents would happily spend hours and hours buying my kids presents, but they don’t need it and often play with nee things once or twice, so they give money instead, which we save for them. When they are 20 they will have money towards a house deposit... they don’t need 100s of presents but will need money when older

Of course PIL can win! They spend time with the grandchildren (either online or not), find out what they like to play with, have a chat with the parents, listen, buy something appropriate. Simple. And then if they want to see the children open the presents, they phone their son or daughter and ask if this could be arranged - Zoom, a video, a window session. You know, a discussion where everyone listens to each other.

Obviously all the nice ILs with social skills don’t get mentioned much on Mumsnet!

It sounds like they are struggling with a he whole lockdown thing and are trying to do something that will break the monotony of being home alone. Say of course, give a time and pass out mugs of coffee. It's going to be a very lonely Christmas for so many

They are hoping or expecting to be asked inside. Have you had any discussion about spending the day with them or are they already bubbled elsewhere?

I've ticked YANBU but YABU for using "herself" instead of "she".

Don't know what the forecast is for you but it'll be near freezing where we are so I can't imagine they'd stay long.

Are they going to expect cups of tea to be handed across the front doorstep or would they be likely to bring their own thermos?

I have to go and wave to my mum through a care home window on Christmas day.

So now I know that MN thinks it's creepy and weird. Me, I think it's heartbreaking.

@JellyBabiesSaveLives

Of course PIL can win! They spend time with the grandchildren (either online or not), find out what they like to play with, have a chat with the parents, listen, buy something appropriate. Simple. And then if they want to see the children open the presents, they phone their son or daughter and ask if this could be arranged - Zoom, a video, a window session. You know, a discussion where everyone listens to each other.

Obviously all the nice ILs with social skills don’t get mentioned much on Mumsnet!

Such a 21st century post. Every part of it’s based on the assumption that the ils have tech and know how to use it. All of you so critical of cash do know the shops have been closed for months in some places? I bet you’re the same ones who have been haranguing over 70s for stepping outside their front door since March.

I don't understand the gratification of watching children open their presents. We have to go and stand in a damp outbuilding tomorrow so the ils can see the dc open their presents from everyone on that side of the family, no one was allowed to send them to our house.