Mil standing at window

[Spied]

Just received a text from mil telling me herself and fil would be visiting in the morning to stand at the window and watch the dc open their presents (of which none are from them as they don't do gifts. They put money in an envelope).
Would it be unreasonable to keep the blinds shut and ignore any door knocking?

I've read all the op's posts, but not the replies.

Sounds like manipulation, pure and simple. That's what would infuriate me the most and I wouldn't be giving into it on principle.

@felttree

How weird especially as they haven't put any thought into buying and wrapping gifts instead they want to watch the magic you have created.

Go with a FaceTime instead of them opening their envelopes of cash.

This is exactly what I was going to suggest.

This is something my MIL would suggest. I would find it very uncomfortable to be honest.

Jesus no! “Is a house not a zoo” should suffice

That’s weird and intrusive. YANBU.

Oh FGS. Get over yourself OP. They obviously want to see their grandchildren having a lovely Xmas. I'm sure they'll only stick around 15 mins.

Just wave through the window, ask if they want a cup of tea at the front and get the kids to wave at them. Wish them a merry Xmas and they'll be on their way.

And as far as I'm concerned, a cash gift for that age child is perfect and it's still a gift.

If you have people in your life who you care about, then you enjoy watching them open presents regardless of who bought them surely.
Some of the comments on this thread have been awful. It sounds like the OP is going to have a lovely family Christmas, what's wrong with allowing In-laws to share in that?

So what if it's slightly awkward? Are people saying no one should do anything awkward just to be kind to someone else? Someone posted on here earlier who volunteers to call strangers who are isolated- that's got to feel awkward, but it's a truly lovely thing to do.

What is wrong with you people? There's a pandemic sweeping the country, which particularly affects our older people. Grandparents want to see their grandchildren, so many are finding safe ways of seeing them.

The miserly, bad tempered, nastiness on this thread has reached a
disgusting place.

No so long ago there was a long thread on here stating that grandparents need to step up in terms of providing childcare.

Basically, on Mumsnet, grandparents can't do anything right. One day, you might be a grandparent yourself. I hope your children and DIL and SIL treat you kindly, though some of you clearly don't deserve it.

Would you be unreasonable to keep the curtains closed and ignore them?

Yes - if you hadn't already told them that you don't want them there.

If you call them and explain how uncomfortable it makes you and they still come round, then you have every right to turn them away.

But if you haven't contacted them to say don't come, it's rude to just ignore them.

You know, you initially had me going ahh, poor grandparents, kind of sweet. That is until you said that they were previously totally not bothered about seeing the children at all, buying no gifts and having prior plans to bugger off to London instead.

Bloody chancers, they only want to come because they have no where else to go and think they can puppy dog eye you into letting them in and feeding them etc. Trying to embarrass you into breaching Covid guidance.

There must be lots of psychology theses on why women hate their DP's/DH's mother. Has anyone ever written one?

She didn't say she wants too just what experience to offer

How cruel some of you are. Do you not have sons?

You are not being mean. THEY are being intrusive, inviting themselves over.

You may prefer to relax, open pressies in your PJs while pottering in and out of the room like I do. I wouldn't want to be watched doing this or have to act differently due to not being in a 'safety zone' of just my immediate family.

Tell them you'll video call later in the day.

If you don’t think they’re worth being involved watching the children open their Christmas gifts then please say no but return the money. As far as I’m concerned anytime there is an occasion a guest giving money or presents is equally valuable at the party.

When did money become ‘lazy’ or ‘not as good’ surely if that’s the case and you didn’t like it then give it back!

I might report this post as at times like this people need to show compassion to their families and older people who will also be alone at Xmas. I do hope the OP’s children’s partners one day treat her like a creep bag.

Classic MN MIL haters out in force I see

What bollocks. I love my MIL, adn I think this is creepy and bonkers. I just asked MIL and she agrees!!

Just because you've given some money to your GC doesn't entitle you to turn up uninvited at an inconvenient time and watch from the window.

It's not pay to view!!! Ffs.

And as far as I'm concerned, a cash gift for that age child is perfect and it's still a gift.

Cash in an envelope, that they can spend after Christmas, yes.

A bank transfer in November that the DCs never see and can't spend because the GPs insist that it's saved, not so much.

@Spied

I'd feel mighty uncomfortable coming to watch presents being opened knowing none were from me Dc are very grateful for the cash and it was very kind of them.

It isn't just watching them open presents though, it is seeing them all excited and having fun.

It isn't just watching them open presents though, it is seeing them all excited and having fun

Through a window! and when you haven't been invited!!

Thats not granparently love, thats stalking.

A bank transfer in November that the DCs never see and can't spend because the GPs insist that it's saved, not so much.

According to OP. We’ve given grandchildren cash this year because the shops have been closed and we want them to buy what they want. The money’s been handed over and they can do what the hell they like with it. I suspect OP’s decided it must be saved.

[quote Frogsandsheep]@Chaotic45 thank you. I’m a vicar so to some degree it’s my job but also I do it because I want to. I see so much loneliness and pain. I’ve done 3 funerals in the past couple of weeks, found out 3 more people have died this week and on top of that I also can’t see any of my own family. I’m rather heartbroken this Christmas and this thread is horrible x[/quote]
@Frogsandsheep we are just about to start watching our churches Crib Service. I bet you're a fantastic, caring vicar and your parishioners love you. I'm so sorry you can't see your family, God Bless

I'd be uncomfortable too, especially with the notion that they will expect to be invited in.

Two weeks ago we met up with DPIL in a car park to exchange gifts. We wore masks, stayed distant and didn't hug each other, as hard as that was. It worked because we were all on the same page. We will be FaceTime- ing them tomorrow. Perfectly reasonable, unlike your PIL OP.

@pinkdragons pay per view 🤣🤣 OP if I pay a £5 can I come and watch too

How odd. With their past form, I would think they were going to film it and then use the footage to show what "doting" grandparents they are.

How nice for them that they can "interact" with the least possible effort on their part.

I'd play ball, but conveniently forget to open the curtains on time, only doing so once reminded and then keep it very short. And I'd hate every minute of this weirdness and stress that it was a one year only thing.

We are on our way @Spied.
This is going to be our new Christmas tradition, watching your family celebrate Christmas. Not at all awkward.