What would you do if your Mil said this to you?

[Showmethefood]

If you posted a picture of you and your family eating a roast dinner (me, husband and 2 daughters) and your MIL commented “What has happened to your diet?!?!?” Ok, fair enough I am In the overweight category (was obese and have now lost 5 and a half stone over the past year!) what would you say in reply? Husband laughed and said she was “only joking and not to take it personally” but I think it’s rude! To be fair she’s always commenting on everybody and what they do etc. Surely this is bad manners?!?!?

Roast dinner with fat removed 1 sun Yorkshire pudding egg in potatoes and veg Is all speed. So roast dinner is all slimming world anyways

Block her on fb so you can’t see her comments. Given how well you’ve done and that she can clearly see that, there was no need for her to make that comment.

'I see the plastic surgery wasn't successful then'

I've eaten it 😁

How about:
“My diet is taking a day’s holiday. Like your manners, apparently”.

Or, in line with Churchill (“you’re drunk/and you, madam, are ugly but in the morning I shall be sober”)
“I may be overweight, but you’re a cow and at least I am already 5 1/2 stone down”

I think depending on how well I got on with her normally I'd either ignore it, say, "it allows for things like this once in a while," or say, "I packed it in because I realised that anyone who doesn't like me at the size I am isn't worth bothering with."

Delete the comment - says it all! Assuming it’s Facebook?

@Showmethefood
I am so incredibly proud of your major accomplishment of sensibly shifting that much weight during one of the most stressful times in modern history.
Good on you!!!
Now, let's talk about your MILs form for making incredibly unnecessary rude, hurtful comments....it isn't the least bit funny even if she were trying to make a joke. She needs to be told immediately that words DO hurt and it's time for her to put the old adage to use "if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all!"
The saying, " Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" just gives bullies a license to say whatever they please and people's feeling be damned! Words DO hurt and unfortunately have destroyed many people...especially teens who are told to suck it up....which is basically what your DH has told you to do by saying " she was only joking"

I feel that your DH has been allowing his DM 's horrendous behaviour for way too long....it's time for him to step up to the plate and tell his DM that her comments have hurt you deeply and you've been distraught ever since. Her behaviour is incredibly unacceptable in any form....joking or not. She'll probably get defencive , but he MUST insist she stop with the negative comments. I'm sure anyone else who saw her rude comment about your diet judged her not you!
If DH doesn't do this his DM is going to start in on your DDs next. Those negative comments will crush them and will never be able to unseen.
If DH won't speak to her, I suggest you pull her up on it! Tell her how she has deeply hurt you, OP...that you've worked so hard and her words were not a joke!
Good luck! And if she won't validate your hurt feelings then it sounds like it may be time to reevaluate you and your DDs contact with her and her nastiness. Not NC, just LC
She owes you an apology!

MIL sent me a friend request when she joined Facebook about 8 years ago. I still haven't accepted it. There's a lesson to be learned from that op

“The same place as your manners”

What has happened to your manners? Have you been drinking? Again?

If your daughter posted it on her FB page then did your MIL post ""what has happened to your mum's diet?" as posting "what has happened to your diet?" wouldn't make sense. I probably would have posted a "what a nice comment" type comment in response as it is nasty

Id reply. " im still allowed to eat, believe it or not, but thanks for the concern"

@CallmeIT

“What has happened to your manners?!?!?!”

This.

Her comment indicates she is an A grade bitch, but better not let her know she has got to you.

Just reply : ‘Rude!’

It’s a roast dinner not a cake! Don’t knock me, I’m doing really well on this diet, thanks.

There are many things I would like to say, such as “I have much to be proud of diet wise this year, all achieved without your helpful comments”

However, ignore it in the page. SM spats always make everyone look like twats.

But I think it would be in order for your DH to say to her, in person or in the phone “that comment to ShowMe was a bit out of order. I’m really proud of her, and I dare say you meant it as a joke but it looked clime bitchy fat shaming. It would be nice to apologise to her”

If he is too much under her thumb tell her you didn’t want to make an issue if it online but you were disappointed that she made such a comment in a public forum and please refrain from personal comments in future.

It is common in the UK to respond with passive aggression, or to vent elsewhere. Maybe we should just state our feelings in a calm, direct and dignified way.

I also would say it depends on your relationship. But if it was your daughters post I would just ask her to delete it. Or just reply “rude”

I dint think people should get away with comments like that.

I’d reply ‘I’m having Christmas Day off it! Is that alright by you?’ I’m starting again 1 Jan...

I'd just say I took Christmas Day as one day off after losing 5 1/2 stone. With a PA smiley.

I would take MIL's comment in the spirit it was intended, as a jokey throwaway comment, and would probably respond with "temporarily suspended!" and a haha emoticon, or something on those lines.

@Showmethefood

Thank you all. I’ve worked so hard at this diet. I was quite big 🙈 Teen DD posted it online (you know what they’re looking Ilene it’s social media!) and mother in law posted (Should be eating that showmethefood - has your diet gone out the window 🙈) Everyone saw it and I was so embarrassed 🙈😔

Everyone saw it so the only person who doesn’t come out of it well is your MIL. I just don’t understand why people are so spiteful. Your her DIL FFS! What makes it so hard for her to say “what a lovely photo of you all”, or nothing, or “well deserved, you have done amazingly well and I’m so proud of you”. Jealously I’d say is the answer.

She’s one person. Pity her unkindness and be thankful others have been witness to it.

I think it would depend entirely on your relationship with your MIL, and your/her sense of humour.

If I posted a pic of me scoffing a massive meal, mine might post the same - because we're both trying to lose weight and chat to each other about how hard it is, and also joke together about what we've eaten that we shouldn't.

She probably wouldn't post it about a Christmas Dinner though, as obviously I'm going to have one of those, but meals out, take outs, huge portions etc are fair game.

I wouldn't mind.

If it bothers you, you probably have deeper issues with your MIL than just a comment on a photo.

You could paraphrase Winston Churchill along the lines of "Yes, I may have broken my diet, and you are rude. Tomorrow I'll be back my diet, but you will still be rude."

Is posting a picture of you and your family eating a meal inviting comment?