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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you do if your Mil said this to you?

155 replies

Showmethefood · 24/12/2020 11:41

If you posted a picture of you and your family eating a roast dinner (me, husband and 2 daughters) and your MIL commented “What has happened to your diet?!?!?” Ok, fair enough I am In the overweight category (was obese and have now lost 5 and a half stone over the past year!) what would you say in reply? Husband laughed and said she was “only joking and not to take it personally” but I think it’s rude! To be fair she’s always commenting on everybody and what they do etc. Surely this is bad manners?!?!?

OP posts:
YoniAndGuy · 24/12/2020 12:11

'My diet's gone on a Chrismtas break... with your manners!'

REPLY THIS!

Then:

'What do you mean upset you? I don't get it - was your comment not meant to be a joke too then? Hmm sounds like maybe it's better not to dish it out if you can't take it MIL...'

Camphillgirl · 24/12/2020 12:12

That’s why we all resolve to be nicer MILs to our children’s partners in the future . Take note

Littleyell · 24/12/2020 12:12

I would promptly remove her off SM. See if she finds it so funny then.

JingleJohnsJulie · 24/12/2020 12:12

I'd change my post settings so that she couldn't see any future posts.

rookiemere · 24/12/2020 12:13

I think delete it. Hopefully she only meant it as a joke, but it's a mean and unnecessary one. Five and a half stone weight loss this year is bloody marvellous considering the type of year we've had.

winterbabythistime · 24/12/2020 12:14

5.5 stone in a year!! You're amazing 🤩

OmarListening · 24/12/2020 12:15

Don't be embarrassed. She hasn't made you look bad, she's made herself look like a massive bitch.

Original poster
Showmethefood · 24/12/2020 12:15

Thank you you all - so lovely 😊 you’ve made me feel a lot better

OP posts:
Sweettea1 · 24/12/2020 12:16

I have some1 on my fb that likes to try be funny with ridiculous comments i just hide their comments an forget about it. In you case I would comment saying I have done really well with my diet and their is no need for you to be concerned about me eating 1 meal.

GabsAlot · 24/12/2020 12:17

good for you op you done amazxing any tips need to lose that amount
does your dh always fob comments off from her

GabsAlot · 24/12/2020 12:17

why do people always say dont take it personally when it is

MintyMabel · 24/12/2020 12:20

What has happened to your manners?!?!?!

Perfect reply.

BuntysTwinkle · 24/12/2020 12:21

Other people and their opinions are the worst part about dieting.

MaskingForIt · 24/12/2020 12:24

Why are you posting a picture of people eating? It’s not 2006 any more.

PicaK · 24/12/2020 12:25

I'd be torn between silently ignoring it this time (for peace just before xmas) or getting one of my mates to post Shock and some indignant comments on your behalf. Friend me and ill do it!!

GreekGod · 24/12/2020 12:26

Well done on your weight loss !!

I would just ignore her - the fact that you haven't acknowledged her will annoy her more (I speak from experience) :)

FlorenceNightshade · 24/12/2020 12:27

I’d tell my mine to go fuck herself. But I’d probably give yours the benefit of the doubt unless she has form for this. Congratulations on your weight loss OP

abigailsnan · 24/12/2020 12:28

Op Just ignore her and remove from your social media,not all MILs are like her my eldest son's wife has a weight problem which she admits to and really watches what she eats but she is such a lovely wife to my son and mummy to my DGD.
Will your husband not pull her up on her comments he certainly needs to.

gottakeeponmovin · 24/12/2020 12:28

Honestly she probably just wanted to comment something and didn't think it would impact you which it has. I would get DH to call her and say that she's upset you then she won't do it again

SantasBritchesSpelleas · 24/12/2020 12:30

I'd just laugh it off - but my MIL wouldn't make that sort of remark, she's a very kind person.

Sewrainbow · 24/12/2020 12:30

YANBU - My dm commented "when are you doing mine?" When her dil posted a picture of her dh doing diy. Dil blocked her!

I dont blame her, it was overstepping the mark on a post nothing to with dm. Sil obviously saw it as a dig and decided that mil and facebook don't mix. I've reduced what dm can see also. Sometimes it isnt appropriate to comment in public some stuff. My dm would it without thinking but not everyone sees "jokes" like that.

Snowy0w1 · 24/12/2020 12:30

Even the strictest diet allows a roast dinner on christmas day.

Henio · 24/12/2020 12:32

I'd send her this...

What would you do if your Mil said this to you?
unmarkedbythat · 24/12/2020 12:33

I'd say something like "oh, fuck off".

Last Xmas I was midway through a big weight loss, I took three days off the incredibly controlled diet I was on to eat and drink for Xmas and got loads of "oh no unmarked you have done so well" and "oh dear you'll regret that" type comments and after being polite the first few times just starting say "fuck off, I am busy eating". People are such tiresome little food police and they really can just fuck the fuck off!

diddl · 24/12/2020 12:34

That would annoy me but husband's comment would piss me off!

How does "only joking" make it better?

Why did she have to comment at all.

Or did she have a point-you had a mountain of roast pots & yorkshire puddings on the plate, didn't you??!!