What would you do if your Mil said this to you?

[Showmethefood]

If you posted a picture of you and your family eating a roast dinner (me, husband and 2 daughters) and your MIL commented “What has happened to your diet?!?!?” Ok, fair enough I am In the overweight category (was obese and have now lost 5 and a half stone over the past year!) what would you say in reply? Husband laughed and said she was “only joking and not to take it personally” but I think it’s rude! To be fair she’s always commenting on everybody and what they do etc. Surely this is bad manners?!?!?

“That’s unkind..”

I'd leave it and say nothing because it shows her up not you

IN relation to tips about weight loss - I had to work out why I was binge eating so much (I.e working out what triggered me) mine was mainly boredom and not realising quite how much I was eating. Also for people saying why are you posting pictures of your food it’s not 2006 - thats equally as rude as my Mil 😂 DD can post what she likes on fb and I shouldn’t be attacked by my own family. :)

“Thank you for your kind words mother in law , it really does make me feel flattered that you should mention that in public.”

Whats wrong with a roast?
Eg, chicken and loads of veg, the only "bad" part would be things like roast potatoes, which aren't that bad.

Or

“Did you mean to post this in public mother in law?”

I wouldn’t delete it. I would leave it for her to embarrass herself unless it was a genuine mistake.

It’s rude and horrible.
I would just post a winking emoji and take the power out of it.

My dinner did look unhealthy tbf diddl 😂

'No need to be catty MIL'.

I would pull her up on it tbh. I've seen several threads recently where people have been really hurt by comments other people have made, after years of that person getting away with it, excused by their 'sense of humour' or 'they don't really mean it'. They might have stopped if they were not allowed to get away with it scot free. You don't have to be rude/ angry back, but I'd make sure she knows you won't tolerate low level rudeness to you. You are worth more than this!!

Massive congrats on the weight loss btw!!

@Showmethefood

My dinner did look unhealthy tbf diddl 😂

She still doesn't need to say anything.

@Showmethefood

Thank you all. I’ve worked so hard at this diet. I was quite big 🙈 Teen DD posted it online (you know what they’re looking Ilene it’s social media!) and mother in law posted (Should be eating that showmethefood - has your diet gone out the window 🙈) Everyone saw it and I was so embarrassed 🙈😔

I'd have to comment back because that's just bloody rude.

Well done on your weight loss!

"Calories don't count at Christmas" with a laughing face? Ignore her x

"What happened to your skin elasticity?"

But then my ex MIL was the devil incarnate.

RUDE! Ignore her OP. Well done on the weight loss!

If you've openly been dieting then I don't think it was a rude comment- it was just a flippant remark. There's nothing wrong with a roast dinner but they are usually not part of a weight-loss diet!

is she normally catty or would she think it was 'for your own good'?

I had an aunt who, with what she thought were the 'best of intentions', simply had to 'help' everyone with everything. She would have made a comment like this thinking she was being 'helpful'. She was stone blind to the fact that her 'helpfulness' could be very hurtful. Of course back in the day the comment would have been stage-whispered across the dinner table or from two seats away in the living room. She was especially 'helpful' about weight and diets to her own DD. The rest of us learnt to just ignore her, but her DD still carries some scars.

Personally, I'd delete the comment and say nothing. If MiL brought it up I'd simply say I found her comment hurtful and unnecessary.

And congratulations on your weight loss. That's quite an achievement!

Can you take it literally (like she was asking how you diet was going) and respond, thank you for asking! It’s going really well and I’ve lost 5 and a half stone this year!

I'd probably not reply and think she'd made herself look rude. I'd probably dwell on it more than I needed to for a short while and then forget it.

Very rude. Even though I think no-one need post pictures of meals on social media.

Depending on how good your relationship is or otherwise, I'd consider answering "I don't know, it probably went the way of your manners"

'My diet is my business Brenda!'

I'd reply, the diet has fucked off, just like your manners

This! But add ‘feel free to join them’.

I came up with a similar riposte in a slightly different situation (it was face to face; I can be quite assertive) I stated simply,
"Well I joined Weight Watchers and so far I've lost four stone." (True, and when you love your grub, and cooking, as much as I do, you need all the moral support you can get!)
Then, in an enquiring tone, "What are you doing about your appalling manners?"
In other words, if I'm up for criticism, I consider it open season.
Could it be that you have unsettled her by dealing with your weight problem? You have disturbed the status quo, showing that things can be changed. Your given role is to be patronised......
I also agree with PP's that a roast dinner need not be a bad option; one of the discussions we have had at workshops is analysing which bits of said roast dinner need cutting back (eg dry roasting potatoes) which are fine in moderation (go for the leaner breast meat) and portion control.
Good luck with continuing to lose weight in a healthy way!

“It’s round the back having a quickie with your manners. I expect they’ll both be back soon.”

Reply: What happened to your manners?

Raise your eyebrows, give her a hard stare and don't stop staring at her until she makes some kind of apology.