Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share or not to share Secret Santa Scratchcard Winnings

481 replies

WoolieLiberal · 23/12/2020 11:23

I was given a National Lottery Scratchcard as a Secret Santa gift. I thought this was a bit naff until I realised it was a winner.

I won a (low end) four figure sum. I got excited and told my colleagues.

Since then, the person who gave it to me sent me a message suggesting (in a lighthearted way) that I might want to give her half. I replied with a laugh emoji as I thought she was joking, but she has since messaged me to ask if I have decided whether I am going to do so or not!

I’ve also been asked by three other colleagues if I could “lend” them “small“ (three Figure) amounts “to help with Christmas”.

DH says I was daft to have told anyone, but it’s done now and is none of anyone else’s business. He says I should treat myself for a Change.

I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t won anything because if I respond to all requests I’ll have virtually nothing left, and if I don’t, then I’ll be thought badly of and stingy.

There’s a woman at work who works part time and is married to a very wealthy businessman (the job is more of a hobby/something to do) and they’re always jetting off on holidays to far flung destinations, having meals out, nice cars and jewellery etc. No one has ever (to my knowledge) asked her to share her wealth.

If I knew a colleague was genuinely struggling I would help but this feels like vultures are circling. DH, DD’s and I are not wealthy by any stretch but “managing”.

Thoughts welcome!!

OP posts:
Nottherealslimshady · 23/12/2020 12:45

Ooh, are people sending you requests privately through texts/email. Wouldn't they be embarrassed for others to know they're scrounging.

I'd send an email to everyone in the team.
"Hi guys,
Hope everyone's well. As most people know I won a small prize on a scratch card recently that was my secret santa present. Since then I've had a lot of requests for money off a few people, actually totalling the amount I've won. I dont want to embarrass anyone by naming names but I've been getting quite upset by it so I just want ask that people please stop asking for money off me, I know I'm very lucky to win but I do think the gifter intended that if I win I be able to treat myself as I haven't had the opportunity to in a long time.
I hope this doesn't hurt anybodies feelings or come across rude, I'm just feeling a little pressured.

Merry Christmas"

I think most people will be talking about how rude people are asking you for money and it'll shame them into silence.

But I'm not very good with people so if loads of people reply to this saying it'll blow up in your face then don't listen to me! Grin

leafygarden42 · 23/12/2020 12:46

oh gosh I am soooo nosey I NEED to know how much the OP won and whether or not the scratchcard was real.

@WoolieLiberal ANSWER ME IMMEDIATELY!!!

hehe - I am serious......

Erm - pretty please????

FadedRed · 23/12/2020 12:47

I’m with the pp’s who suggested you give them all a scratch card. I’d also give them a single unwrapped sweet and say that you’d also been given a box of sweets and thought they’d expect you to be sharing that present as well.

MaryLeeOnHigh · 23/12/2020 12:49

Assuming it's genuine, I'd strongly suggest you tell your colleagues that you were joking and you haven't won anything. It's the best way of getting them to back off without causing offence.

Nodancingshoes · 23/12/2020 12:50

Of course you shouldn't share it. I cant imagine anyone at my work asking for money from someone's winnings, ignore all requests...My fil always busy scratchcards for presents. He certainly wouldnt expect us to share the winnings, even though we probably would but him a present out of any large win - not that weve ever won more than £2 on them!

SlayDuggee · 23/12/2020 12:50

They are all CF!

If no one had asked I would have suggested maybe buying lunch for the team.

The next time you are in work I would loudly announce that your boiler broke down over Christmas and was non-repairable. Thank goodness you won the money as otherwise there would have been no way you would have been able to afford a new boiler and would have been left with no central heating and hot water!

A new boiler is about £3k

Then when anyone asked you tell them you are overdrawn!

PhoebeSnow · 23/12/2020 12:51

Why on earth did you tell them? That was really daft but seeing as you have don’t give any of the money. You won it fair and square.

Dominicwestsscooter · 23/12/2020 12:54

Cheeky fuckers the lots of them. I wouldn’t share my winnings. It’s hardly a life changing amount so you can’t be expecting to dish money out to other people. Enjoy your winnings💐

MountDoom · 23/12/2020 12:55

God I certainly wouldn't be sending an email apologising for being rude and for hurting anyone's feelings, sod that. What about your feelings OP?!

Honestly some people just have no shame. If I was the buyer, I might secretly hope that you'd give me £100 or something but I'd NEVER ask. As for the others, words fail me

YoniAndGuy · 23/12/2020 12:55

Please don't give money to the person who bought it. I think that's possibly going to make things worse with the others.

Honestly a quick round robin text might be in order.

'Dear all, I've really hesitated over whether to send this but I'm so distressed by the atmosphere and the requests for money since the scratchcard that I really have to say something. To be blunt: we do not have much money. We are not rich. The amount on the scratchcard is an absolute blessing to us and will make what was going to be a very tight year ahead a tiny bit easier. But not much - it's basically the amount more well-off folk might spend on a single holiday. Not us, as we could never afford to. However, I know that everyone who has asked me for money does know people who do have that kind of money to spend on holidays. Never in a million years would it occur to any one of you to straight up ask those people, those more fortunate, richer people, to give them money. Much less actually insinuate that it's their responsibility to share out their wealth and make them feel guilty for not doing so. I almost wish we hadn't won this, it's been so stressful. But now that we have, we can't afford to give it away and I would really like people to stop asking. Thanks.'

NativityDreaming · 23/12/2020 12:56

Fuck them! Seriously. If the secret santa hadn’t asked I would have recommended giving her a small token gift card but as she begged, twice, I wouldn’t give anything.

Shinylikeglass · 23/12/2020 12:56

Send a message round saying that all the aggravation is upsetting you so to save your mental health you're giving it to charity.

Whether you do or not is up to you. I'd probably make a small donation.

Tal45 · 23/12/2020 12:56

Is everyone else giving half of their secret santa away? If not then why should you? Surely she gave it to you hoping that you would win, not hoping either you'd lose or she'd get what it cost her to buy plus a lot more back again. I don't think she really understands the concept of a gift x

printedlace · 23/12/2020 12:56

Is it a real scratch card...? Have you claimed the money?

MountDoom · 23/12/2020 12:56

I really wouldn't bother trying to justify it. You'll get a barrage of emails back from your colleagues with sob stories of how poor they are etc.

Maybe just go off radar until the new yr and hope that they all forget about it

Carolines100 · 23/12/2020 12:58

I'm really intrigued to know if it was genuine or not (I wouldn't have considered it wasn't genuine).

I personally don't think its a crap SS, its not like you can get anything great if it was a £1 price limit and as shown the chance to win a great deal more it there.

We each have a scratch card with our placemat on Christmas day for a bit of fun after dinner, my Mum buys them but we agreed the first time we did it that if its under £100 the winner keeps it, anything more and each family takes half (so half for us and half for my parents).

Cactusowl · 23/12/2020 12:59

I agree with the posters saying but the team a scratch card each and wish them luck!

trilbydoll · 23/12/2020 12:59

Oh I'm sorry. We are up to our eyeballs in debt and the overdraft has already swallowed it.

Mayra1367 · 23/12/2020 13:02

It’s all yours . Ignore them all including the secret Santa giver .

Feckinlego · 23/12/2020 13:02

I sometimes add a cheap scratchcard to a gift, just as a bit of fun. It wouldn't occur to me to expect a share, never mind have the cheek to ask! I'm really thinking this is a cruel joke. If it is then everyone is in on the joke, which to me feels like bullying.

ChaoticGouda · 23/12/2020 13:02

Imagine if someone got you a lovely bath set and then when they saw how good it made your skin looked, they asked you to give them half of the bottles? You'd rightfully want to say no - when you give someone a gift, it's rude to change your mind after the fact. It's theirs.

CoronaIsWatching · 23/12/2020 13:03

I can't believe how grabby, entitled and rude people are these days. I'd keep it all and buy a flashy handbag or something to parade in front of them all

thesebootsaremadeforawalking · 23/12/2020 13:03

I am sorry for you to work with such a CF!

Yes, you were daft to tell anyone, but it's not such a big amount that you have any moral obligation to share! A few millions, maybe you could have given a few quid (I don't think you can win that much!)

I wouldn't give them anything at all, so rude. Or maybe a box of chocolate for everybody to "share" if they are so keen on sharing anyway.

SpilltheTea · 23/12/2020 13:04

I'd tell them I was joking. Cheeky fuckers. A scratch card is a shit gift, she only spend £1.

leafygarden42 · 23/12/2020 13:04

www.ebay.co.uk/b/Fake-Scratch-Cards/123859/bn_7023444883

Just had a look at this - not sure the OPs is even genuine, didn't realise this was such a thing!