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Original poster

To share or not to share Secret Santa Scratchcard Winnings

481 replies

WoolieLiberal · 23/12/2020 11:23

I was given a National Lottery Scratchcard as a Secret Santa gift. I thought this was a bit naff until I realised it was a winner.

I won a (low end) four figure sum. I got excited and told my colleagues.

Since then, the person who gave it to me sent me a message suggesting (in a lighthearted way) that I might want to give her half. I replied with a laugh emoji as I thought she was joking, but she has since messaged me to ask if I have decided whether I am going to do so or not!

I’ve also been asked by three other colleagues if I could “lend” them “small“ (three Figure) amounts “to help with Christmas”.

DH says I was daft to have told anyone, but it’s done now and is none of anyone else’s business. He says I should treat myself for a Change.

I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t won anything because if I respond to all requests I’ll have virtually nothing left, and if I don’t, then I’ll be thought badly of and stingy.

There’s a woman at work who works part time and is married to a very wealthy businessman (the job is more of a hobby/something to do) and they’re always jetting off on holidays to far flung destinations, having meals out, nice cars and jewellery etc. No one has ever (to my knowledge) asked her to share her wealth.

If I knew a colleague was genuinely struggling I would help but this feels like vultures are circling. DH, DD’s and I are not wealthy by any stretch but “managing”.

Thoughts welcome!!

OP posts:
MeMarmiteYouJam · 23/12/2020 11:42

I hope it's not a prank!

If it isn't, pretend it was. Be very, very sad.

AaronPurr · 23/12/2020 11:43

@LEELULUMPKIN

As an aside, if it is a joke one that is a REALLY shitty trick to play on anyone.

Especially this year.

Oh I agree. I really hope it's real, but there are plenty of people who think this sort of thing is funny, hence the market for fake winning scratchcards. Sad
Lougle · 23/12/2020 11:44

The gift value was £1. So if you want to give the sender 50p, by all means go ahead.

PeasNotBeans · 23/12/2020 11:45

You’re damned whatever you do. If you give some to the gifter it will either not be enough or other people will get the hump.

Jeremyironseverything · 23/12/2020 11:46

Tell them all that you are giving it to charity is a good idea. Then give the bit you would have given to the giver if she hadn't asked for it, to charity and keep the rest.

Tiktaktoe · 23/12/2020 11:47

If the card was not a winner would your colleagues have shared their gifts with you?
Are your colleagues usually cheeky fuckers? It seems odd that they would all be looking for a handout? Are you sure it is real?

Chambored · 23/12/2020 11:48

I haven’t heard of this fake scratchcard thing. Bloody awful if they’ve done that.
Assuming it’s genuine, I agree with PPs.
The person who bought it for you - I probably would’ve given her a token amount (£50 / nice bottle of fizz) if she hadn’t have asked. That’s just cheeky. The fact she has. Nope.
As for everyone else who’s asking to borrow money. It’s a short sharp no. With or without a ‘I assume you’re joking, ha ha, how funny’ if you want to soften it.
Cheeky fuckers, the lot of them.
You could just say you’ve spent the lot on a new handbag, to shut them up.

Stellaroses · 23/12/2020 11:52

I hope it wasn't a prank.
But I would make up some sister's debts or mil's vet surgery bills that you were so relieved to be able to pay off - so sadly the money is all gone.

HollyandIvyandallthingsYule · 23/12/2020 11:52

Yes definitely check it first to ensure it’s real! If it’s a joke that might be one reason she’s teasing you about sharing your winnings...

If it’s real, and once you’ve claimed the money, you could choose to give the giver £50 as a thank you, but you wouldn’t be unreasonable if you didn’t.

In future never, ever tell anyone about small windfalls like this.

Whammyyammy · 23/12/2020 11:53

No, no, no, no ,no.....

CoolCatTaco · 23/12/2020 11:54

Keep laughing it off & ignore them. Really cheeky of them.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 23/12/2020 11:54

Is everyone else sharing their gifts with everyone else? No? Then why should you.

Is anyone else getting the money back plus more that they spent? No? Then why should your giver.

Incidentally I thought the whole point of SS was that you don't know who bought whos gift? At least that's what we do!

ToffeePennie · 23/12/2020 11:55

“Ain’t it a shame when you think you’ve won big on a scratchcard and it turns out you won £1”
All of this, all day and they will sod off quickly enough.

Whydidimarryhim · 23/12/2020 11:55

Cheeky fuckers!!!
It was a gift - I’d not give her anything but maybe buy some treats for the team.

ImPrincessAurora · 23/12/2020 11:55

My first thought was it might be a joke card too OP.

If it’s not, then no, I wouldn’t share with anyone, not even the person who gifted it because otherwise the requests won’t stop. I might even say you sent it in to Camelot and you were wrong, it wasn’t a winner.

PurpleFlower1983 · 23/12/2020 11:56

I would probably share with the buyer but I don’t think you’re obliged to at all.

Tiktaktoe · 23/12/2020 11:56

If it is a joke be sure to play along. Saying that you have booked and paid for a non refundable holiday/experience for the entire team. When it comes out that it was a joke tell everyone they will have to pay a share of the event.

Pancakeorcrepe · 23/12/2020 11:58

Sorry, but you have been SO silly in mentioning it to them!! Everyone knows that telling this sort of thing ALWAYS ends up in tears.

Bluesheep8 · 23/12/2020 11:58

Incidentally I thought the whole point of SS was that you don't know who bought whos gift? At least that's what we do!

Exactly. The clue is in the name - secret....Are you sure the person claiming to have bought it actually did??
And no, the buyer is NOT entitled to any of it.
As a pp said, offer them a share of whatever you choose to buy with the money. A share of a truckload of manure for the garden perhaps...

Bluesheep8 · 23/12/2020 11:59

And you shouldn't have said anything either.

Alez · 23/12/2020 12:00

I wouldn't give anyone anything. Honestly people who buyscratch cards as gifts need to get themselves comfortable with the fact that they might have bought a winner and given it away. You know full well that if it wasn't a winner they wouldn't have offered to give you something else. If they were really struggling then I would think differently, but you still wouldn't have to give them any. As for the rest of them - cheeky buggers!

Grooticle · 23/12/2020 12:00

It was a gift. If you hadn’t won anything, you’d have been left with no gift at all, and I doubt any of your colleagues would have been queuing up to give you half their Baylis and Harding gift sets, or half their chocolates.

I’d reply to the sender along the lines of “I assumed you were joking! I’m glad you bought me the scratchcard, the winnings will really help our family after a tough year. I’m not planning to share it out around the team though like some people have asked, I don’t think anybody would have been sharing their gifts with me if I hadn’t won! Thanks again and have a great Christmas :)”

Then anybody who asks for “a loan” or “help” just say no, your family can use that money.

Lockheart · 23/12/2020 12:00

I wouldn't have mentioned it, but since you have, I'd give the buyer a couple of hundred (not half!) and that would be it.

shitinmyhandsandclap · 23/12/2020 12:01

Sorry but it was a gift, if it had been a bottle of wine would you be expected to share with your colleagues? It's yours to do with as you wish, it shouldn't come with conditions and I wouldn't be sharing it with anyone other than my family - that includes not giving any to the buyer

SillyOldMummy · 23/12/2020 12:01

I would not give any of them anything. No amount will satisfy them and legally and morally it is your money.

They are being incredibly selfish and grasping.

It is YOUR gift - once given , a gift passes into your ownership. What other gift would anyone say, "Actually I liked that gift can I have it back?"

I would say to them all, "if you had not badgered me to donate money to you , I might have shared, but you have made this so awkward I now don't think i can share the money fairly and still feel good about it. I'm going to put the money against my debts, and hope we can all please forget about it." Then never mention it, and don't flaunt any extravagance!