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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share or not to share Secret Santa Scratchcard Winnings

481 replies

WoolieLiberal · 23/12/2020 11:23

I was given a National Lottery Scratchcard as a Secret Santa gift. I thought this was a bit naff until I realised it was a winner.

I won a (low end) four figure sum. I got excited and told my colleagues.

Since then, the person who gave it to me sent me a message suggesting (in a lighthearted way) that I might want to give her half. I replied with a laugh emoji as I thought she was joking, but she has since messaged me to ask if I have decided whether I am going to do so or not!

I’ve also been asked by three other colleagues if I could “lend” them “small“ (three Figure) amounts “to help with Christmas”.

DH says I was daft to have told anyone, but it’s done now and is none of anyone else’s business. He says I should treat myself for a Change.

I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t won anything because if I respond to all requests I’ll have virtually nothing left, and if I don’t, then I’ll be thought badly of and stingy.

There’s a woman at work who works part time and is married to a very wealthy businessman (the job is more of a hobby/something to do) and they’re always jetting off on holidays to far flung destinations, having meals out, nice cars and jewellery etc. No one has ever (to my knowledge) asked her to share her wealth.

If I knew a colleague was genuinely struggling I would help but this feels like vultures are circling. DH, DD’s and I are not wealthy by any stretch but “managing”.

Thoughts welcome!!

OP posts:
Ddot · 25/12/2020 05:21

Iam back🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 because she asked she can bugger off, flowers and nowt else. You've spent it, right!

Ddot · 25/12/2020 05:22

Let this be a lesson to you all, scratch them when you get home. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ddot · 25/12/2020 05:24

I won on my works scratch card, nobody asked for half of my winnings. £2

Beautiful3 · 25/12/2020 05:32

I wouldn't feel guilty and give away the money. Just ignore all messages from work colleagues. If they ask you at work directly, say I'm not sure what I'm doing with it yet, it's a small amount.

Bookworming · 25/12/2020 05:47

Cheeky feckers!

Elisi · 25/12/2020 06:09

@Ddot That made me chuckle!!

gumball37 · 25/12/2020 06:22

Tell them all that you've donated it. NO one's fucking business. Next time.... Don't tell anyone!

ChaToilLeam · 25/12/2020 06:27

What a bunch of CF! Though it was unwise to say anything at all, OP.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 25/12/2020 09:12

Jesus ! They have a nerve
Even if you give that grabby cow £100 she won’t be happy
The nerve !!!!

Wishiweremorewitty · 25/12/2020 13:10

I think it’s very rude of your colleagues to have asked for any, even the person who bought it. If you buy a scratch card you are giving it regardless of if it wins. You wouldn’t ask for half a box of chocolates back if you’d given that.
It’s a shame you said but you shouldn’t have to hide it. Maybe just buy a round of cakes/coffee for everyone and say you are donating the rest to charity.

Casiloco · 25/12/2020 13:20

They are very cheeky BUT the whole point of Secret Santa is that it is a usually meaningless/naff/cheap/fun presents between work colleagues with some - hopefully - affectionate accompanying banter.

It was a totally ridiculous present to give to OP as you immediately set up a completely different set of expectations.

I would feel embarrassed to win £2k whilst my colleagues get a pretend turd/golf socks/wind-up Santa at the same time. It would feel a bit ridiculous.

So actually I like to think I would be generous - out of pure self-interest in reducing the embarrassment factor - and share half amongst my colleagues in equal parts.

MummyMayo1988 · 25/12/2020 13:24

I agree with your DH that you were utterly stupid to tell anyone about winning!
I think the best thing to do is say you donated the lot to a charity close to your heart. Absolutely make a donation but keep the rest (on the quiet) for yourself as DH says.
People are such vultures when they get a whiff of something they haven't got!
Next time keep quiet!
Good luck!

HughPewBarneyMcGrew · 25/12/2020 13:33

If only the OP had come back and told people what she had decided!!

Oh...wait......she did in the early hours of Wednesday morning.

Scarlett1251 · 25/12/2020 13:39

Your husband is right there - you never should have told them. You know what people can get like, they are often very jealous if they think you have more/are doing better than them - sad fact of life. You only need to do what you want to do. I can't believe people are asking you for money, how rude. Even if I was going to share anything, I certainly wouldn't have gone after they asked.

Borderterrierpuppy · 25/12/2020 15:14

Tell them you were joking and won nothing.
Cheeky feckers for asking.

ezzergood · 25/12/2020 15:20

There loss. Years ago I bought all my staff lottery tickets as I was stumped for ideas, had limited time and an even more limited budget as I was just back from mat leave. Anyway after Christmas on of them said, imagine if one of us one you would have been a member of staff down, what a nightmare (v difficult to recruit to this industry) I smiled opened my draw and showed her the matching tickets... I would have been leaving with you.
If you know you would be resentful either don't buy a bloody ticket or take out your own "insurance" and don't buy a scratch card.

So no money to any of them cheeky F

violetbunny · 25/12/2020 18:03

I old buy the person who bought you a scratch card, a scratch card in return.

violetbunny · 25/12/2020 18:04

*would buy

suzy2b · 26/12/2020 14:33

If you share your gift then every one else has to share theirs

Ddot · 26/12/2020 16:24

I know what you decided, half for you and half shared between your work colleague's but I personally think you shouldn't mainly because I'm a greedy selfish cow. Id get them a scratch card each and a box of cakes between them. Two grand is a lovely win but shouldn't cause this much stress

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/12/2020 04:27

You missed an update

WoolieLiberal Wed 23-Dec-20 20:04:59
Wow! Lots of strong opinions either way.

I’ve decided that the person I most want to share this with is an elderly relative who was meant to be spending Christmas but will now be alone at Christmas with only a neighbour for company.

I’m going to wait until I’ve got the cash in hand before telling them and then do or get something special for them with some of the money to make up for the spoiled Christmas.

I’m off until 7th January now so I’m setting an out of office on email and won’t be responding to any texts about it (I haven’t had any more from any of them).

I’m not going to mention it again and hope they all get the message that way. My workmates are friendly enough but not close so wouldn’t normally expect nonwork messages from them outside of work time.

If any of them
Ask again I can tell
Them the truth that I have an elderly relative who was having a crap Christmas and needed cheering up!

hettyhooverdoover · 27/12/2020 07:30

My dh got a scratch card from his dp for his bday just like all his siblings did for their birthdays. He won £50. After telling his DM she made him swear that he wouldn't tell his siblings as it wouldn't be fair!! :-)

hettyhooverdoover · 27/12/2020 07:31

OP I would be inclined to give a little to the ones who DIDN'T ask!!

Carolofthebellies · 27/12/2020 20:33

After telling his DM she made him swear that he wouldn't tell his siblings as it wouldn't be fair!! :-)

She did the right thing not because it's unfair but because sometimes it's better to keep quiet.

BlueThistles · 27/12/2020 23:16

@hettyhooverdoover

OP I would be inclined to give a little to the ones who DIDN'T ask!!
why Confused

did any of these cretins share their Secret Santa gift with OP ?

NO...

People are very generous with other peoples money huh

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