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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To share or not to share Secret Santa Scratchcard Winnings

481 replies

WoolieLiberal · 23/12/2020 11:23

I was given a National Lottery Scratchcard as a Secret Santa gift. I thought this was a bit naff until I realised it was a winner.

I won a (low end) four figure sum. I got excited and told my colleagues.

Since then, the person who gave it to me sent me a message suggesting (in a lighthearted way) that I might want to give her half. I replied with a laugh emoji as I thought she was joking, but she has since messaged me to ask if I have decided whether I am going to do so or not!

I’ve also been asked by three other colleagues if I could “lend” them “small“ (three Figure) amounts “to help with Christmas”.

DH says I was daft to have told anyone, but it’s done now and is none of anyone else’s business. He says I should treat myself for a Change.

I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t won anything because if I respond to all requests I’ll have virtually nothing left, and if I don’t, then I’ll be thought badly of and stingy.

There’s a woman at work who works part time and is married to a very wealthy businessman (the job is more of a hobby/something to do) and they’re always jetting off on holidays to far flung destinations, having meals out, nice cars and jewellery etc. No one has ever (to my knowledge) asked her to share her wealth.

If I knew a colleague was genuinely struggling I would help but this feels like vultures are circling. DH, DD’s and I are not wealthy by any stretch but “managing”.

Thoughts welcome!!

OP posts:
SantasBritchesSpelleas · 23/12/2020 12:19

I wouldn't give them anything. When they bought the scratch card they must have known there was a small possibility it would be a winning one, and in that knowledge they chose to give to to you as a gift.

HughPewBarneyMcGrew · 23/12/2020 12:20

@PorridgeOaf

It's Christmas, it's been a shit year for everyone, and it's not like you earned it. Personally, I'd split it evenly between the team. It will be remembered.
If the gift had been a bottle of wine would you split that between the team too?

Are they all splitting their gifts and sharing them equally?

How did the other recipients "earn" their gifts?

If you give someone a scratchcard then you do so with the knowledge that they may win something.

If the OP had won £2 should she share that out equally too?

TroysMammy · 23/12/2020 12:21

If it is a joke one and that's all you had then that's a shit Secret Santa.

MissMogwai · 23/12/2020 12:22

"Its Christmas, it's been a shit year for everyone, and it's not like you earned it. Personally, I'd split it evenly between the team. It will be remembered.

Mug"

Mug cracked me up 😂

I'd probably give the person who bought it £100 but the rest can sod off.
I wouldn't dream of asking a colleague for a loan, how embarrassing.

Derbee · 23/12/2020 12:23

May be a joke scratchCard, in which case I’d be fucking pissed off.

If it’s real, there was a distinct possibility of you ending up with no gift.

Don’t give ANYTHING. You wouldn’t have decanted a bottle of wine into 4, so that everyone could have some. Or shower gel, or whatever else you’d got as a present.

Frenchdressing · 23/12/2020 12:24

Whatever you do won’t fulfill their expectations now.

Gingerwhinger0 · 23/12/2020 12:25

I’d buy them a nice bottle of wine each To share my good fortune, but wouldn’t give them cash gifts.
Colleague shouldn’t give scratch cards as gifts if they can’t handle people actually winning on them.

Gingerwhinger0 · 23/12/2020 12:28

It would be £10 max price tag for wine, nothing too fancy.

Janaih · 23/12/2020 12:28

I would donate 100 quid to the buyers charity of choice then treat yourself with the rest. Cant believe the front of people asking for a share. Grab by fuckers. No shame!

inquietant · 23/12/2020 12:29

Did you tell them specifically how much you won? I would be tempted to tell them you used most of it to buy x important item for your mum/cousin. Then never mention again. You could give the buyer a portion.

swearymad · 23/12/2020 12:30

I once bought someone a lottery ticket for Secret Santa gift. I also bought myself one with exactly the same numbers - just in case. Didn't win anything. 😀😀

I would also check whether it's a 'joke' ticket. I hope it's not - I would give £50-100 to the person who bought it and enjoy the rest.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 23/12/2020 12:31

No is a complete sentence yes it’s also a really wanky thing that one only only ever hear uttered on mn as if it is an eviscerating solution

Nottherealslimshady · 23/12/2020 12:34

You shouldn't have said you'd won. In a nice world she'd have been thrilled for you, but it's the real world.

But absolutely dont share. She bought you a scratchcard, surely in the hopes you'd win, that was her gift to you. If I buy someone a gift I dont expect to share it. It's yours. She's being super rude!

hansgrueber · 23/12/2020 12:35

I once won some amount in a newspaper matching numbers, it was about £500. The colleague whose paper I'd looked in for the numbers wanted half!

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 23/12/2020 12:35

I'd make it known to HR that staff are emailing you and harassing you for money.

VulvaPerson · 23/12/2020 12:35

Wow, they sound cheeky as fuck to me. It was a gift. One I would agree was pretty crap but nonetheless a gift. That it won, is of no consequece to the person who gave you it, or anyone else. As a gift. Ignore. its up to you if you want to 'share'. I certainly wouldn't. I might be a little tempted/pressured to give a lttle out if say, it had won 200k. But in this situation, nah.

nosswith · 23/12/2020 12:36

No sympathy because you could not keep it secret. Even though the colleagues behaviour is wrong.

VulvaPerson · 23/12/2020 12:36

Also if I did plan on sharing, I would specifically NOT do it with the people who had been cheeky enough to ask. Even if they wrote if off as a 'joke' (but kept going on, so not a joke)

HarrietPotterska · 23/12/2020 12:37

The giver sounds like a CF and just the kind of person to give a fake ticket!

LittleOwl153 · 23/12/2020 12:39

I'd be tempted to buy each team member a scratch card as you received. A cleverly worded note about giving each what you received from "Santa" would perhaps make them feel guilty. But then again probably not.
I wouldn't be sharing any cash. Particularly not with the cheeky ones!

Cocomarine · 23/12/2020 12:40

Why the hell did you tell people? What a stupid thing to do.
Sounds like it’s about £3K.
I’d give the person who gave it to you £250, and put £250 into a kitty for a team Xmas dinner when it’s allowed.
I’m not saying that’s what you SHOULD do... you can keep the lot 🤷🏻‍♀️ But it’s what I’d do.

Oh! I might buy everyone on the team the same card... put the cat among the pigeons if someone else wins 🤣

Rayn · 23/12/2020 12:41

Keep it. If t giver gave you a box of chocolates would she then ask for half! No they wouldn't. I personally would say it was a mistake!

Notapheasantplucker · 23/12/2020 12:43

Eh no! I'd give nothing just for being a cheeky fucker and even asking if I'm sharing it.

BaublesToIt · 23/12/2020 12:43

The colleague who bought you this ‘gift’ is a bloody horrible person who has no business being anything other than delighted for you that her ‘gift’ bought you such good luck.

No way would I give her a damn penny. Nor the chancers who have asked you to lend them money! If they were that desperate, and they must be, to ask a work colleague, why wait until you came into money?

I probably would have bought a nice present for the colleague who bought me the card but not now.

Tell them all to get to fuck, You don’t need to give excuses or make up debts or charity donations. Just tell them what cheeky fuckers they are and the money is yours.

riddles26 · 23/12/2020 12:44

@LittleOwl153

I'd be tempted to buy each team member a scratch card as you received. A cleverly worded note about giving each what you received from "Santa" would perhaps make them feel guilty. But then again probably not. I wouldn't be sharing any cash. Particularly not with the cheeky ones!
Love this idea, please do this for everyone who has asked! Will also cost you a lot less