Fuck it. Let’s have a ‘Shit Secret Santa’ thread.

[Retiremental]

Mine hit a new low spot this year with Bayliss and fucking Harding

Strips not straps

I got a large knitted rectangle made from white wool. It wasn’t a scarf, it was about 40 cm long and 30 cm wide. I have no idea what it was. But I do know that the person who gave it to me didn’t make it. She also forgot my gift so I was the only one who missed out on the day and then after new year found that on my desk.

One NYE party the host set up a game similar to @Wheresmycider, only using packs of cards as well and she bought all the gifts. One pack of cards was distributed among the rest of us, she had the other. She turned her pack over, one by one, and whoever had that card could either choose an unwrapped gift (if any were left) or choose someone to steal from. The most fought over gift was a ball of string, which I went away with.

The worst thing I received was a 'bloke finder' thing. It could have been innocuous but, knowing that team of bullies it was intended to be humiliating.

At least the charity shop ones do some good and reduce the tat coming off a conveyor belt somewhere. I think the Pervy/embarrassing/sexy gifts should be definitely consigned to the dustbin in this day and age.

@shitinmyhandsandclap

Canwecancel2020 a poo head is a cloth hat with velcro straps on it that you tie under your chin. There are 3 cloth poos with opposing velcro that you chuck at the person wearing the hat 🙄

And a cookie mug know case anyone's interest is a mug with a cut out slot at the bottom for biscuits

Thanks for the explanation... my kids would LOVE this, it could easily pass half an hour while the queen’s on

The year l got a sexy Santa outfit. It was funny at the time but l look back now and think how inappropriate it was 😂

A cat print tea towel and some cat treats. I do have a cat, but I was super upset as the organising had.landed with me and there was just so little effort. Oh and the following year, I was the boss and had to organise again and was bought nothing.

They had requested the secret santa in the bloody first place! And only people who wanted to do it took part, it was optional not mandatory. Refused to do it at all the following year 😂

@Neolara

I got a glow in the dark pineapple ornament last year. I was bemused...

Omg, I would adore that. But then, I like baylis and Harding, so what do I know?

‘Sexy’ rabbit ears from an older (I was 21 and he was in his 50s) guy in the office who bought them specifically for me and then insisted I put them on in front of everyone. Humiliating.

a poo head is a cloth hat with velcro straps on it that you tie under your chin. There are 3 cloth poos with opposing velcro that you chuck at the person wearing the hat

"The long winter evenings must just fly by ..." 🙄

I can beat you all... I once got fingered lip balm

I didn’t get one. Sat there like a lemon whilst everyone else opened theirs. I think I know who got me and I presume he just didn’t get anything in time, but just something cheap to unwrap would have been less embarrassing when others asked me what I’d got.

I’ve never received a good secret Santa. Thankfully haven’t done many.

First one was in sixth form, huge extended friendship group. I drew one of my closest friends. The girl who picked me was nice but we didn’t know each other well. She got me a necklace which was very her style, kids new age/hippy which was sort of fashionable at the time. Very not my style. I smiled politely and wore it that afternoon.

Uni halls. We used to share washing machine loads sometimes as we were poor and it was expensive. One guy left a packet of skittles in his pocket, they ruined my friends expensive white hoody. She was gutted. He drew me and gave me a packet of skittles?! It was like a shared joke but not really involving me, involving my best mate, and she also didn’t find it funny at all!!

Different uni secret Santa - my person just didn’t get me anything. Then said he’d intended to buy me some JLS condoms but forgot and promised to get me something in the NY. He didn’t. I was the only one left out.

Work one - I used to sew my own clothes and so on. I was given a beginners sewing kit. A kind thought, but full of cheap versions of what I already owned.

Literally never taken part in a SS where I wasn’t disappointed! I go in to them expecting to be now.

Charlie Red perfume

you could have sprayed your impulse body spray, put your butterfly clips in your hair, grabbed your lip gloss and given a quick spritz of the charlie red before you headed out to give it some on the dancefloor to whigfield

one year I got a santa thong, red with white fur on it. It was a size 8. Even if I had wanted to wear it It would have barely fitted half my arse.

@Winterwoollies

I got a large knitted rectangle made from white wool. It wasn’t a scarf, it was about 40 cm long and 30 cm wide. I have no idea what it was. But I do know that the person who gave it to me didn’t make it. She also forgot my gift so I was the only one who missed out on the day and then after new year found that on my desk.

This is spectacular!!! Did you ask her what it was? Did you thank her? Did you try it on as a scarf first? I have so many questions...

My worst was 4 cans of Stella. It was a passive aggressive "well you like a drink don't you?" Back in the early 2000s. I put lots of effort into mine and last year I got mine a gorgeous scarf (Boden I think where a had a voucher but still spent the full amount if that makes sense- higher value but I paid the correct SS budget ) and it was well received but I got a hideous mug. Not £15 worth. I opted out this year. There were awful presents last year. Used aftershave, sex books.

I got a scarf once in a tatty presentation box. I’ve always suspect it was a re-gift, although still have it.

Another year I got a notebook, and handbag bag - one of those bags that folds down small to keep in your handbag. I did wonder what the person thought of me. Still have the handbag bag, though, so maybe not a bad gift.

I like Bayliss and Harding and I also like Charlie Red.

Secret Santa really sorts out the decent people from the dickheads. Everyone should be made to reveal themselves afterwards so it's obvious who is who.

Oh I've just remembered my ex, who was a bit of a shower dodger, got deodorant, soap and aftershave in secret Santa. I mean it was fair enough but also incredibly cruel. The people who worked with him were all women around his mum's age ( he was only about 20) and they may have thought they were doing him a favour in a nice, maternal sort of way. I don't know.

I think traditionally is was 'joke' gifts but they all seem to be sex related 'jokes' and that's pretty unacceptable now (and should always have been.) Buying a sixteen year old edible pants is disgusting and basically sexual harassment

I got an aquatic themed snow globe one year, the person giving the SS gift didn't know me well but had tried for something inoffensive and nice. It could have been worse!

One manager received Just for Men - you know where this is going... yip he was bald

@MaelyssQ

I like Bayliss and Harding and I also like Charlie Red.

I also don’t mind Bayliss and Harding!

I got the free gift you get when you spend over a certain amount on lego.com