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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Spitting blinding RAGE

118 replies

CutToChase · 19/12/2020 09:45

I am seriously worried about the level of my PMS rage. I dont get any other symptoms except mildly tender breasts.

Yesterday I saw my cat has worms, also a friend pissed me off. So I was in a pretty bad mood anyway this morning. Got my bike ready, couldn't find my keys (needed them for bike lock). I was full of rage, not anger but actual rage. I was stomping through the house throwing things across the room looking for my keys, I couldn't find them and started sobbing from anger.

Finally found them and set off. All the way to the vets (10 min cycle) my mind was just spiralling into overdrive like a mad woman, I was extrapolating how fucked off I was, it turned into hating my DP, hating my house, basically just chuntering on and on in my head really violently.

Got to the vets and one of my contacts started playing up, so painful and weeping eye. Got the pills came back outside and just felt so angry I kicked my bike hard and hurt my foot. It took everything I had not to pick the bike up and throw it into the road, I'm serious.

Got back home, cat refusing pill even in sardines, butter, cheese, wet food. Carried on being really gentle with her but then as soon as she went back outside (not pilled) completely lost my shit again, fuming at waste of money, crying and feeling rage at everything and everyone.

This kind of thing happens every month, just for one day before my period and it really scares me. It's almost like I literally see red. I hate how it makes my DP feel. How can I get this under control? Does anybody else get this rage?

OP posts:

Cheesybiscuits01 · 19/12/2020 09:49

Speak to your GP. There are options for treating severe PMS.

PixelatedLunchbox · 19/12/2020 09:51

I dont know the answer, but sending you a hug, because this sounds severely debilitating. I find GABA is very calming when I am frazzled - supplementing with it might help.

Original poster

CutToChase · 19/12/2020 09:51

@Cheesybiscuits01
But thats what I'm wondering, do you think what I describe is severe or do you think it falls within "normal symptoms" for PMS?

OP posts:

PixelatedLunchbox · 19/12/2020 09:53

@Cheesybiscuits01

Speak to your GP. There are options for treating severe PMS.

Yes. @CutToChase you could even print out your original post and take it in to the GP to read to help them get the full picture.

AliceinBunniland · 19/12/2020 09:54

You might have PMDD / severe PMS. It's something I have suffered with too. I haven't had treatment for it and didn't find the GP helpful but I found recognising it helps as you can plan around it to some degree. It might sound dramatic but I know that for the days I have PMT I would be like a different person, so irritable, angry, depressed and even just unable to concentrate on work. Even if I have nothing to be annoyed about I could get annoyed thinking about something that happened months ago or that might boy even happen. You can plan things like seeing certain friends so it's not the week you're in a bad mood or a big thing at work so it's not that week. There's a Facebook group I found helpful as people post when they're having a bad day and everyone on there understands.

AliceinBunniland · 19/12/2020 09:55

Also if you are going to your gp, and maybe just for your own info, keep a diary of your moods.

Sally872 · 19/12/2020 09:59

That sounds awful. Definitely see GP, I can be a bit grumpy or oversensitive perhaps but I think you can say your feeling of rage are something more than average PMS. I think what you have written is a really good example for GP. Hope you find something that helps.

Original poster

CutToChase · 19/12/2020 10:00

@AliceinBunniland
That's really useful, thank you. I would say I'm quite a highly strung person anyway, it doesnt take much for me to feel pissed off 😂 But usually I can just fume for 5 minutes and then put it to one side. On the day before my period though it feels so physical. I'm kind of against taking any kind of medication because it's only one day, and it's not even the whole day. Actually its not even the day before my period, it's usually the day OF my period. And what's interesting is that pretty much the moment I start bleeding all of that tension just vanishes almost at the very moment it happens (maybe that's a real thing or maybe its just psychological?). But the damage is done in the sense that now I've put DP on edge for the day. Luckily he's such a calm person, but it's still not nice to think I made him feel bad.

Thank you for your advice on the groups thing, I'll look into that 💐

OP posts:

Cheesybiscuits01 · 19/12/2020 10:04

@cuttochase I would say your symptoms are severe. If you know which GPs in your practice tend to be sympathetic to mental health or women's health issues they are a good place to start. Absolutely worth making the call though.

FolkyFoxFace · 19/12/2020 10:05

I'm exactly the same. One day before my period, an absolutely blinding rage comes over me and it's awful. I'm grumpy in the build up but there's always one day right before that is shocking.

It feels horrible, affects everyone. I'm pregnant, so relieved to be missing it, but I'm dreading my periods coming back. I also don't do well on the pill or any hormonal birth control. Copper coil is the only thing that works, so it's not like I can rely on the pill to help me like the GP keeps suggesting. I've no idea what to do either!

Herja · 19/12/2020 10:10

Yep. It's shit. Then I feel huge guilt for my emense rage and become suicidal for a few hours. Sometimes ideation, occasionally active (depends on my general mental health).

It's happened for years. I recognise it now and just wait for it to go. It only ever lasts a day or so. It's shit.

HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 19/12/2020 10:11

I get the rage too OP, really badly since having children. I should really go and see my GP as my periods are hell too. No advice but sympathies

gamerchick · 19/12/2020 10:15

Get the spot on for the cat. You don't need pills.

I feel for you. The day before a period since hitting peri makes me keep the car at home and since I no longer have a clue when period is coming now, it comes out of the blue.

Pain in the arse it is.

Harryfrog12 · 19/12/2020 10:16

I dont get pms rage however, when i was on the depo jab/or had the arm injection. I was such a frustrated person anything could set me off. Made me so mad and quite depressed for several years until i stopped and switched to the coil. My doctor refused to acknowledge these would cause this but theres pages and pages over the internet saying exactly this. This was not my personality at all I am quite a chill person and I can see now how much of a bitch it made me. Hormones can seriously screw with you. Its actually scary. Sorry, not much advice. Just wanted to say you are not alone.

GnusSitOnCanoes · 19/12/2020 10:16

@CutToChase my sister suffers with PMDD and her symptoms are very similar to those you describe. She cannot control her rage at certain times of the month. She went to see her GP who suggested she track her symptoms on this app mevpmdd.com/ - and then they’ll make a plan for next steps.

Original poster

CutToChase · 19/12/2020 10:20

@Herja @HeyDuggeesCakeBadge
💐
I dont have children but for some reason I assumed it would work the other way and would calm you somewhat.

I could just deal with it if it was me alone, but for example today as I was thrashing around looking for my keys DP said "look why dont I just drive you?" and I gave him a really, really dirty look and said "Oh no dont you trouble yourself for me" really nastily

OP posts:

FippertyGibbett · 19/12/2020 10:20

I was just the same as you. Went to the GP and she offered me antidepressants to be taken before my PMS kicks in. I said no thanks.
I was on Tesco own brand EPO which did nothing so I swapped to a better quality one and it dies seen to help.

Scarlettpixie · 19/12/2020 10:21

[quote CutToChase]@Cheesybiscuits01
But thats what I'm wondering, do you think what I describe is severe or do you think it falls within "normal symptoms" for PMS?[/quote]
No its not ‘normal’ for PMS although I am sure you are not alone. Please see your GP.

The only time I have felt the way you describe is when my Ex H was unfaithful! That said my periods were painful, heavy and long so we all have different issues. The mini pill solved it all for me 😊

Original poster

CutToChase · 19/12/2020 10:22

@gamerchick
Yes!!! I've heard about this and will be leaving shortly to a different vets to get it! Could be game changing. I've got one who literally eats pills out of your hand like treats and one who just KNOWS when the smallest thing has been tampered with 😐

OP posts:

Original poster

CutToChase · 19/12/2020 10:22

@FippertyGibbett
I've heard of this for hormonal balance. I'm going to try it. Thank you x

OP posts:

TeachesOfPeaches · 19/12/2020 10:25

I think I'm going to explode with rage the week before my period, I googled as I was concerned and it is actually a thing although not well diagnosed or researched. I also feel extremely low and almost suicidal.

Glenthebattleostrich · 19/12/2020 10:26

I am exactly the same. I've found a combination of herbal supplements and vitamins help control it along with following a low carb diet (limits white carbs and sugar which seem to affect my hormones). I also try to limit alcohol, particularly in the week around my period.

I take Agnus castus, star flower oil, magnesium and zinc. Oddly I've found switching sanpro from tampons to a combination of period pants and a mooncup has helped.

My GP is very good but only suggested taking an antidepressant for a couple of weeks per month and I wasn't keen on that option.

Regular exercise and mindfulness / meditation is also helpful although I still can't run or lift weights on days 1 and 2 of my period. I do walk to make sure I get outside. Personally, I find going to the woods and doing 5 minutes of mindful breathing helps me deal with life but everyone is different and finds their own way of coping.

Hormones are shit. So have a hug and be kind to yourself.

WetEcho · 19/12/2020 10:26

I had the same for years, I would literally see red, scream, shout, say the nastiest things to DH, I could feel my blood itching in my veins! Then it would just stop as soon as it started. I am now on Sertraline for something unrelated and it’s gone completely. However my teenage DD now gets the same sort of rage the day of her period starting.

Nanny0gg · 19/12/2020 10:29

See (Ha! You'll be lucky) or speak to your GP. They can help.

As to your cat - have you got a pill thingy? Long plastic thing that holds the pill so you can push it to the back of the throat.

Or see if the medication comes in liquid form. Our cat comes and asks for it!

toocold54 · 19/12/2020 10:33

Definitely see your GP as others have said.

I have never felt this way in my life for the things you are describing.
And if I’m stressed a walk or cycle would start calming me down so it’s concerning that you were still feeling this way even after getting some fresh air and exercise.

I hope you get it sorted soon OP! It’s horrible feeling stressed.

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