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Original poster

Spitting blinding RAGE

118 replies

CutToChase · 19/12/2020 09:45

I am seriously worried about the level of my PMS rage. I dont get any other symptoms except mildly tender breasts.

Yesterday I saw my cat has worms, also a friend pissed me off. So I was in a pretty bad mood anyway this morning. Got my bike ready, couldn't find my keys (needed them for bike lock). I was full of rage, not anger but actual rage. I was stomping through the house throwing things across the room looking for my keys, I couldn't find them and started sobbing from anger.

Finally found them and set off. All the way to the vets (10 min cycle) my mind was just spiralling into overdrive like a mad woman, I was extrapolating how fucked off I was, it turned into hating my DP, hating my house, basically just chuntering on and on in my head really violently.

Got to the vets and one of my contacts started playing up, so painful and weeping eye. Got the pills came back outside and just felt so angry I kicked my bike hard and hurt my foot. It took everything I had not to pick the bike up and throw it into the road, I'm serious.

Got back home, cat refusing pill even in sardines, butter, cheese, wet food. Carried on being really gentle with her but then as soon as she went back outside (not pilled) completely lost my shit again, fuming at waste of money, crying and feeling rage at everything and everyone.

This kind of thing happens every month, just for one day before my period and it really scares me. It's almost like I literally see red. I hate how it makes my DP feel. How can I get this under control? Does anybody else get this rage?

OP posts:
billy1966 · 19/12/2020 10:36

Starflower capsules and Vitamin B complex would really help.

About 10 years ago a friend of mine who had to circle a week of every month on the calender, due to her PMT,went to an osteopath for a couple of sessions to help relieve it.

It was life changing for her, and reduced her symptoms by a good 80%.

She wished she had known earlier.

Best of luck.

Oh for full disclosure....I found Starflower and vitamin b complex to be incredible for my peri menopausal anger and flushes.😁

2bazookas · 19/12/2020 10:37

You have my sympathy; I used to have that and know just what you mean.. Get some help from your GP; and don't be embarrassed about asking.
PMT hormones are no more our "fault", than the hormonal effects of childbirth and menopause.

JustLikeStitch · 19/12/2020 10:40

Sorry I’m too hungover to RTFT, has anyone asked if you’re on the contraceptive pill? If you are, come off it (found depo the best to go on after the pill). Been there, most awful feeling in the world, but it was entirely the pill. After a month off it the rage disappeared, felt like a different person Flowers

Henio · 19/12/2020 10:42

@HeyDuggeesCakeBadge

I get the rage too OP, really badly since having children. I should really go and see my GP as my periods are hell too. No advice but sympathies
This is interesting as I had no pms at all before having my daughter now I get awful symptoms, I feel like I'm losing my mind
zafferana · 19/12/2020 10:43

If your periods are regular and it's only one day I think I would warn DP in advance that that is the day you're likely to be like this - put a red box around that day on your calendar, and give him a heads up that he may want to just go out that day or at least avoid you!

Being aware yourself too might make you more able to deal with it when it happens. If you understand beforehand that you're going to just be really fucking angry that day gives you the chance to avoid making plans, particularly ones that have the potential to be a lightning rod for your mood - trying to give a cat a pill is enough to drive a perfectly sane person bonkers!

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/12/2020 10:44

OP you need to speak to your GP and get on medication. This happened to my brother's girlfriend who was so aggressive 5 days a month he said go to the doctor or I'm walking out. I can't remember what medication she is on...meno-something?...but it's changed her life.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/12/2020 10:45

PMS is normal but shouldn't be debilitating, please ladies seek help and don't put up with it!

Kettler · 19/12/2020 10:47

The day I’m due to come on I threaten to divorce my DH, and occasionally hand my notice in. My supervisor at work has now changed the date of my monthly supervision with him as he saw a negative pattern emerging.

TheStoic · 19/12/2020 10:49

Good for you for acknowledging it, and wanting to help yourself. I don’t know if your behaviour affects anyone else, hopefully it doesn’t.

Hormones should never be an excuse for bad behaviour. Whether that’s PMS in women, or testosterone in men.

CoRhona · 19/12/2020 10:53

I went out for dinner with friends and mentioned that at certain times of the month I felt like murdering DH. They all laughed and said they did too.

I said really? Like a knife, a pillow over their heads? They were like no, we were only joking. I wasn't, I really had these absolute rages of hatred.

I had the coil fitted - it all stopped. Thank God.

Minky37 · 19/12/2020 10:54

This does sound severe. I have very very sore breasts- it’s intolerable for even the lightest brush past, am a little bit grumpy, can cry easily but I do get the sense of relief you describe when the bleeding starts, and the soreness in the breasts just disappear.
I’ve been in the injection for 6 years, but lock down stopped getting next dose in April, I’d forgotten how entirely shit periods and being hormonal is.

thepeopleversuswork · 19/12/2020 10:54

I used to have this: absolute red mist for a few days before my period, also paranoia, depression and fatigue.

I've been on the Mirena coil for over a decade and its been an absolute life-saver for me: has totally ironed out the hormonal peaks and troughs. It's not for everyone: some people have had reactions to it but its been great for me.

Only thing I would say is that I don't get periods at all now: again this doesn't bother me at all but some people like to have them so they can keep track of their cycle.

But its worth considering.

KarmaNoMore · 19/12/2020 10:55

By any chance, are you using a Mirena coil?

dudsville · 19/12/2020 10:56

I get this but not the same emotion every time. I become emotionally overwhelmed. This could be anything from paranoia, heart racing anxiety, utter despair or blind rage. I normally am the annoying person who has a generally sunny disposition with a smile on my face and confident that I'm well thought of, so it's quite a stark shift. My partner is fabulous at recognising it before i do and he manages well, and I'm pretty good at being able to let him know I need to be on my own, but when I'm in the rage I do say and do things I regret. They aren't unforgivable, and I do always apologise and take myself off. For me it's become worse in perimenopause and with the long gaps between periods. I don't want to take anything so I just managed. I imagine puberty was like this but thankfully I don't recall it.

KarmaNoMore · 19/12/2020 10:58

By the way, I’m asking about Mirena because I felt in a constant state of rage when I used it. Once removed I went back to normal.

... until I got to the perimenopause.

But yes, what you describe is severe and needs to be checked.

NoMansAnIsland · 19/12/2020 10:58

I take 10mg of citalopram for PMDD.

I refused for YEARS to take antidepressants for something that was hormonal.

However I took 20mg after my friend died and the bonus was that my PMDD went and my relationship with my children's father thrived to the point where we ended up getting married.

I came off it totally when I was pregnant with our third child.
And I've recently gone back on it after my periods came back.
Now as far as I'm concerned I'm on it until I'm over the menopause.
My marriage wouldn't last without it.

GarlicMonkey · 19/12/2020 11:00

I'm 50 & last year I gave in & accepted medication from my GP for it (low dose of Fluoxetine). I now feel like a complete tit for not accepting it years ago. I feel so much better & nobody needs to wear a tin hat around me anymore now. I still get 'angry' but that ball of boiling rage in my stomach hasn't happened since I started taking them.

Gigheimer · 19/12/2020 11:00

Ditto!!!! Total blind angry rage and it’s awful! Before I came on last week I went from clearing plates so angrily I smashed them to weeping and wanting to kill myself outside a shop for an hour in my car because I could not face putting a mask on. I never used to be like this, I think it kicks off the PTSD I now have.

As soon as I come on it melts away like snow!

ForestNymph · 19/12/2020 11:01

I get this. For 1-3 days before my period I get pure rage, enough to have me punch stuff and potentially start fights. I manage to contain it mostly but my husband can always tell. I just try to avoid anything potentially irritating or anger inducing during that time period

BlackeyedSusan · 19/12/2020 11:02

that is severe.

be careful with pills though as mycrogynon (sp?) made me eaqually murderous such that I was not safe to drive. had to stop taking them and find something with a different progesterone(?)

BlackeyedSusan · 19/12/2020 11:03

I would never talk to teachers anywhere just before periods either. or anyone else important as I had to work very hard to nnot be irritable.

wildraisins · 19/12/2020 11:08

I don't think that level of anger/ rage is normal or something you (or those you come into contact with!) should have to live with. It's good that you recognise it as hormonal symptoms. Go talk to your GP, they will be able to help get things balanced.

Flibbitygibbit · 19/12/2020 11:08

Get the drops you put on the neck for the cat. Mine won't take them at all

CatholicKidston · 19/12/2020 11:10

Doesn't sound great. Progesterone therapy can help with this.

stovetopespresso · 19/12/2020 11:10

you poor thing op. I've just realised that I have this, it takes me a week to recover and I've hurt many people along the way. I have signed up for counselling feeling guilty all the way in case I'm taking someone's place who needs it more, but found myself wishing I would get cancer last month and behaving in an unhinged way so I think I need it. Maybe consider this route as even the initial call (about an hour) was helpful and the wait for the call wasn't too long, if its an option for where you live and you can self-refer.