So I've just finished a 1 hour and 50 minute phone call with one of the two friends who I am struggling with.
It started with me whatsapping her as I hadnt responded to one of her messages in a while.
She immediately replied saying she needed to talk to me on the phone, she felt upset.
I said I am knackered from working, and I generally have more energy in the morning - what time tomorrow morning would suit her?
She responded saying she really needed to talk to me tonight and can I call?
So I'm already feeling really pissed off that she has seemingly totally disregarded my preferences (can someone tell me if that's normal or whether I am overreacting on this point?).
For an entire two hours, she proceeds to talk at me. She tells me about her therapy, rants about her ex, talks to me about her kids, tells me about the poems shes been writing. She then proceeds to read some of the poems out to me, four or five. Very long poems.
It gets to about the hour and fifteen minute stage and I start making sounds that I'll need to go soon as I really am pretty knackered. She basically completely fucking ignores me. I do this several times more, getting as far as the "so we'll do dinner after Christmas. I hope you have a great one with the family!" stage and she just refuses to let me go, basically I say something like that, and she immediately goes into "Dolphin, seriously, you should have seen how I spoke to my ex. I was so proud" or "I do wonder whether the kids....".
You get the idea.
It gets to the fifth time I'm trying to leave, now essentially after a two hour conversation, and again she wont let me, shebsays "wait I need to get you to listen to something". So I snap and say "well you're going to have make it quick I'm afraid because I'm tired now and I want to go to bed". Struggling to hear, sounds a bit like the ocean - I didnt quite understand what it was, I believe some kind of huge egg timer with sand sounds that helps her sleep or whatever.
So I said cool, and then basically had to just be almost brash, and was like "Listen, get a good nights sleep. Good night!"
I am now so fucking wound up. She is a very kind person by the way. Shes the kind of person who would always help someone out. This is why its causing me so much frustration, because it's not as simple as just cut ties. She has been there for me in hard times and I can be there in hard times too but I dont want to be spoken at for two hours. It's extremely stressful. I feel angry now. I just cant believe someone can be that unaware? She must know shes doing it. But this is why I end up in this fucking situation in the first place. So she talks at me, so I avoid calling her, so she makes me feel guilty, so I do call her, and rinse and repeat.