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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is really creepy?

190 replies

thelittlefox · 16/12/2020 20:44

So, this happened this afternoon, and at first I thought it was rank but funny, but I am now starting to think maybe I should do something/complain...

My postman is rather indiscreet. He's well-meaning and friendly but does like to overshare people's business. I learned long ago not to tell him anything I didn't want spread around our village, but he's pretty harmless really.

Yesterday he asked me to take a parcel for my neighbour, and said "give her a big smile when she comes to get it". I looked at the package and there was nothing about it to explain what he meant, but he said "google the return address hahaha", tapped his nose and went on his way. I am ashamed to admit that I did what he suggested, and it turns out the parcel was from Lovehoney. Completely plain packaging, you would literally need to know Lovehoney's postcode to know who it was from.

So I had a bit of a smirk to myself, although I'm not 12 so it wasn't really THAT exciting. Thought it was a bit grim that he'd pointed it out to me, but whatever.

Today, he asked me if I had googled it, and I said yes, but I asked him how come he knew? He said that someone at the sorting office kept an eye out for the postcode and alerted the delivery guys. He also said that the same guy also looked up the names on Facebook and passed their pictures around. At this point I went from having a bit of a laugh with him to being quite grossed out, and I told him he should have a word with his mate, as that's disgusting! He said (still smiling and joking about) "I'll tell him then that from a woman's point of view he's a pervert" and wandered off.

This is fucking horrible, isn't it? To go to the lengths of looking up names and addresses, it's borderline stalky, even if the pictures are public. The more I think about it, the more it bothers me.

So, am I being unreasonable to be worried about this, or should I forget about it (and get my butt-plugs posted to my sister to be the safe side Grin)?

OP posts:
Serin · 16/12/2020 23:10

This is awful. I would be worried about what he will do next? Go round to her house to have a look at the woman in person?
It is stalker ish and creepy as hell.

oakleaffy · 16/12/2020 23:12

@dayswithaY

So strange, why do they track women down on Facebook, just to snigger about what they bought on Love Honey? Sounds like something Mary Whitehouse would do!

When I was a teenager I worked in a shop where one of the services they offered was developing photos from old school type cameras. The old perv that worked there showed me a stack of at least 100 photos of topless women, women posing in underwear, all quite tame but they were all customers who came in the shop regularly and he would talk to them and be friendly whilst showing their private photos to staff. They probably thought he was a nice guy.

THIS! A local pharmacy used to develop 35mm film years ago, and always took a gander at the pics.

Other people's snaps are boring as hell, but presume they were looking for 'Sauciness'.

I have had parcels opened before. One, that possibly looked like a DVD to them was a book on Side saddle rider of the 19th Century...That was slipped back into it's cardboard envelope./
Another, a video from Amsterdam had been opened and magnetised {Destroyed} despite it being wholly innocent.

grapewine · 16/12/2020 23:15

So much wrong with this. Please report, it's incredibly unprofessional, creepy and stalkerish.

People are the worst.

RaininSummer · 16/12/2020 23:20

Pretty awful behaviour by the postmen. I also think everyone needs to look at their social media settings and lock the privacy down so that random people can't see you photos.

CookieClub · 16/12/2020 23:22

@thelittlefox

Honeyroar Actually I think that's maybe a plan. Not so much that I have discussed it with the neighbours, but I might tell him it's really been bothering me, or he should be careful because other people definitely would report that kind of gossip. I reckon he would realise he's overstepped and keep a lid on it. We get on so I think he'd take it as friendly advice rather than a threat.

But it's the guy in the sorting office that I feel is the more pernicious player here. Maybe if I make an anonymous complaint and pre-warn my postie? If the guy is really going around all the different rounds pointing out the "special deliveries" to various postmen then it could be some-one on the inside that has blown the whistle perhaps?

I blatantly reckon it's your postie and he's using 'the sorting office guy' as a get out clause. It's blatantly him, he's the creepy sleezeball...100% And it's probably not anything to do with photos, probs just that he knows who's who from his rounds and likes to perve over the ones that order fun products.

I wonder what my postie thinks of me.... Grin

Happymum12345 · 16/12/2020 23:23

He will likely lose his job if you report it. Well done for telling him it’s not right. Yes he is clearly a creep, lots of them about. I wouldn’t risk the fall out of it was me.

ClaireP20 · 16/12/2020 23:28

@BonnieDundee

Your postie is equally as bad as the other guy. Why you are defending him I dont know
This. Why are you being so loyal to him. It's disgraceful of him. Can't you complain anonymously, set up a different email address and complain via email.
Flyingin · 16/12/2020 23:31

Stop overthinking it op. Report it. If you are overreacting nothing will happen. If
, as is more likely, the bosses take it seriously then it will be dealt with.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 16/12/2020 23:31

I’d also email Lovehoney, who perhaps need to put their return address inside the boxes.

Seconding anyone who suggests this or something comparable.

Honeyroar · 16/12/2020 23:31

I think the postie is even worse than the guy in the sorting office. He’s the one telling neighbours what’s in other people’s parcels hoping to make people gossip and snigger, and he’s smiling knowingly/sneering as he hands women their parcels. He’s revolting.

DarkDarkNight · 16/12/2020 23:37

Yes weird and creepy. Probably breaking the code of conduct, not just looking people up on Facebook but telling neighbours about it.

Also it’s almost Christmas, just after Black Friday slap bang in the middle of a pandemic and someone has the time to look out for a postcode in a return label? That is strange.

dayswithaY · 16/12/2020 23:41

The postman is just as bad as the guy at the sorting office. He told you his sordid little past time just to get a kick out of your reaction. Who knows what else they're up to.

popsydoodle4444 · 16/12/2020 23:46

Journalists like to prowl these threads for stories;one of my threads ended up being picked up by a journalist.You might find this ends up in a newspaper

CurlyhairedAssassin · 16/12/2020 23:49

I have to say I don't trust Royal Mail staff, sadly. I've had too many birthday and Christmas cards partially opened, clearly looking to see if there is any cash in there. It gets worse at Christmas when I assume they take on casual staff.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 16/12/2020 23:50

Journalists like to prowl these threads for stories;one of my threads ended up being picked up by a journalist.You might find this ends up in a newspaper

I have no doubt that it's Fail fodder.

Knackeredmommy · 16/12/2020 23:52

Huge data protection breach. Very creepy, I'd have to say something

Nanny0gg · 17/12/2020 00:00

@thelittlefox

FortunesFave It would be Royal Mail. The Post Office are a separate business. I don't know how I would report it when it's hearsay, and also I don't really want to drop my postman in it; he's mostly great. I've known him for years and years so I don't know whether he would have overshared if he didn't know me so well. It's more the other guy I'm worried about tbh
Oh yes, he's an absolute peach!

They're all vile.

MizMoonshine · 17/12/2020 00:01

Maaaaaassive breach of data protection. Could get the lot sacked. Report him.

cuppateabiscuits · 17/12/2020 00:02

@CutToChase

Dont report it. This kind of shit probably goes on all the time across industries and companies.

They're bored at work and have been inappropriate I get it. But it's not worth getting people into trouble for IMO

And putting a stop to "this sort of shit" is exactly what is needed.
MizMoonshine · 17/12/2020 00:03

Also as discreet as their packaging is everyone knows who LH Trading are. (Mum works in collection office).

lyralalala · 17/12/2020 00:09

@thelittlefox

Not defending what my postman did, but I don't think it's as serious as looking up customer's photo's! He didn't do that.
In many ways your postman is actually worse.

Lads being dicks in an office is one thing (assuming the sorting office guy isn't actually him), but going around telling people their neighbour has ordered sex toys? That's beyond grim.

He has no idea what you'll do with that information, or what you'd say to your neighbour. It's not just embarassing for your neighbour that you know that, but in some households it could cause trouble.

Imagine the hassle a teenage girl could get from a strict parent if a neighbour says "oi oi, I see your lass has been ordering sex toys". Or a wife could get if her husband is hacked off that the neighbours know? Someone in a religious community, for example, could end up with a serious case of being shamed for it.

I'd also bet the sorting office guy is him. Creepy prick.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 17/12/2020 00:32

At this point I went from having a bit of a laugh with him to being quite grossed out

I think you’re pretty disgusting to have been having a laugh with him up to this point. He was clearly being unprofessional and a total perv. I wouldn’t be ‘having a laugh’ with him. Hmm

ZenNudist · 17/12/2020 00:33

I think you should report it.

BuzzingTheBee · 17/12/2020 00:33

I think he should be sacked

DaughterOfEvilReindeer · 17/12/2020 00:36

This is really grim. I'd be horrified if I'd found out I'd ordered something and the postman was gossiping about it to my neighbours! Let alone stalking me on social media. You have to report it OP and also contact Love Honey to let them know.

Having said that, my friend is a postie and this is exactly the sort of thing he'd tell me with a snigger. He doesn't like using the toilets at work because of what other people men have done in there before he went in. I thought he meant having a smelly poo but no, he meant they go in there to wank.