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Original poster

To think this is really creepy?

190 replies

thelittlefox · 16/12/2020 20:44

So, this happened this afternoon, and at first I thought it was rank but funny, but I am now starting to think maybe I should do something/complain...

My postman is rather indiscreet. He's well-meaning and friendly but does like to overshare people's business. I learned long ago not to tell him anything I didn't want spread around our village, but he's pretty harmless really.

Yesterday he asked me to take a parcel for my neighbour, and said "give her a big smile when she comes to get it". I looked at the package and there was nothing about it to explain what he meant, but he said "google the return address hahaha", tapped his nose and went on his way. I am ashamed to admit that I did what he suggested, and it turns out the parcel was from Lovehoney. Completely plain packaging, you would literally need to know Lovehoney's postcode to know who it was from.

So I had a bit of a smirk to myself, although I'm not 12 so it wasn't really THAT exciting. Thought it was a bit grim that he'd pointed it out to me, but whatever.

Today, he asked me if I had googled it, and I said yes, but I asked him how come he knew? He said that someone at the sorting office kept an eye out for the postcode and alerted the delivery guys. He also said that the same guy also looked up the names on Facebook and passed their pictures around. At this point I went from having a bit of a laugh with him to being quite grossed out, and I told him he should have a word with his mate, as that's disgusting! He said (still smiling and joking about) "I'll tell him then that from a woman's point of view he's a pervert" and wandered off.

This is fucking horrible, isn't it? To go to the lengths of looking up names and addresses, it's borderline stalky, even if the pictures are public. The more I think about it, the more it bothers me.

So, am I being unreasonable to be worried about this, or should I forget about it (and get my butt-plugs posted to my sister to be the safe side Grin)?

OP posts:
mswales · 16/12/2020 21:55

Fucking hell this is horrifying. That they would do this but then that your postman would actually tell you that they do this?? So scary that he would be so unaware how horrific this is. And to tell you to google the postcode! Bloody hell. Your poor poor neighbour. And all the other sex toy customers.

Barmyfarmy · 16/12/2020 21:58

Report him immediately OP. He and his colleagues are humiliating people behind their backs and being incredibly inappropriate by sharing that information with you. If you leave this now it will continue. He deserves to lose his job or be severely repremanded if he's being this disgusting. This isn't just a small comment, this is a severe invasion of privacy and could cause a lot of distress if the people he's talking about find out.

You're being incredibly unreasonable for thinking it's okay to pretend it hasn't happened.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 16/12/2020 22:05

Tweet the post office and tag lovehoney in it.

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/12/2020 22:06

@thelittlefox

Not defending what my postman did, but I don't think it's as serious as looking up customer's photo's! He didn't do that.
It's not as serious. But what is pretty serious is your postie knowing that a fellow employee is stalking customers and spreading information about them around, and is not reporting it. Condones and encourages it by the sounds of it.
Krankie · 16/12/2020 22:06

I’m assuming you must be somewhere remote as the Royal Mail is under incredible pressure at the moment. Ive read they are often timed when sorting mail and under intense scrutiny. The story seems unlikely to me. Maybe all bravado.

Original poster
thelittlefox · 16/12/2020 22:08

No, I'm not in NE Scotland. Wish I was, although I bet it's cold!

I will be making a complaint tomorrow morning. Thanks for all your replies.

OP posts:
dudsville · 16/12/2020 22:09

This needs to be reported.

Fallsballs · 16/12/2020 22:09

I didn't think they'd have the time what with the Christmas rush.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 16/12/2020 22:10

@user1471565182

I wouldn't care and I wouldn't have thought many people would be all that bothered but then I was asked in Boot if I wanted 2 bags for my sanitary products to help stop being seeing through the bag as I walked round town. I was 17 and was all "what are you talking about?" But that's when it dawned on me that if people want to hide their sanitary products then what do they do about condoms and anything else to do with sex.

Some people really would be upset by this, especially if their neighbiurs are being told. I would post it publicly.

FangsForTheMemory · 16/12/2020 22:12

TBH I've always assumed that when you get something like that in the post, the postperson delivering it knows exactly where it's come from. What would bother me is the fact that he's made a point of talking to you about it. I'd freeze him out.

SoNotRainbowRhythms · 16/12/2020 22:13

Make a public post about it on Facebook.See how he likes it.

VodrangeLime · 16/12/2020 22:14

@Honeyroar

He’s a perverted slimeball telling you to give her a big smile. I’d tell him you’ve had a discussion with all the female neighbours warning them what a pervert he is and you’re trying to decide whether to report him and his colleagues. I’d also email Lovehoney, who perhaps need to put their return address inside the boxes.
I'm not sure you understand why there is a return address for on the outside of letters and packages!! It is so Royal Mail can return undelivered items without having to open the packaging!
ThisMammaCat · 16/12/2020 22:16

Knowing the postcode of such companies and having a bit of nudge nudge wink wink in the sorting office is one thing...but looking up the recipients to get their pics? Heck I'd bring it up with him again and be recording audio to send in as proof when reporting it. You never know who hides darkness, and searching for the social media of women is a stalker move, one that could escalate. I know you like your postie but he was out of order to be hinting at what's in your neighbour's package. Just because someone is familiar to us and friendly, is not a reason to let them get away with bad behaviour.

I see you have said you shall report it- if postie is arsey with you after, give him a bloody good telling off, the lil creep!

longtompot · 16/12/2020 22:16

@namechangetheworld

*This kind of shit probably goes on all the time across industries and companies.*

I worked in customer facing roles a lot when I was younger. It happens A LOT.

Doesn't make it right. I'd put in a complaint too.
faithfulbird20 · 16/12/2020 22:18

I'd report him and what he said. Why would they look up the people and send their photos around. Too much time on their hands.

krustykittens · 16/12/2020 22:24

I think the whole thing sounds a bit predatory. Plenty of men get sex stuff through the post, are they looking up their pics and passing them around? Doesn't sound like it. Just the pictures of women - why? Are they the kind of men who think women who buy sex products are slags who are gagging for it? Why send their photos to other men? And now your posty is trying to shame your neighbour to you? It's all a lot more than a bit inappropriate! I am glad you have decided to report it!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 16/12/2020 22:27

I'd report it. It's sleazy behaviour and an invasion of privacy. At the very least it displays a complete lack of professionalism. Some workplaces which have mainly men working in them seem to be stuck in the dark ages. They need picking up on it. Please can we not normalise behaviour like this on this thread by saying "oh it goes on loads, this type of thing". No-one wants to be some wierdo's wank fodder.

user1494055864 · 16/12/2020 22:28

Your postie is way too over familiar with you! Yuk!

cuppateabiscuits · 16/12/2020 22:31

Unprofessional and should he be working with the public
Ignorings beyond ignorant to the fact he's pretty much abusing privacy and slandering is not acceptable

TaraR2020 · 16/12/2020 22:31

Absolutely report him and his colleagues. I would tell your neighbour too - they deserve to know. I would also consider making a police report as I think this (sharing with neighbour and colleagues searching on internet) can be deemed secure harassment.

He may come across as a nice guy, but this is pretty serious.

lemonsquashie · 16/12/2020 22:31

Looking up customers on Facebook and then telling colleagues they know they have ordered from love honey? Then all having a giggle about it

Childish
Breach of gdpr
Stalkerish
Unprofessional

TaraR2020 · 16/12/2020 22:31

*sexual harassment (not secure!)

cuppateabiscuits · 16/12/2020 22:31

@thelittlefox

FortunesFave It would be Royal Mail. The Post Office are a separate business. I don't know how I would report it when it's hearsay, and also I don't really want to drop my postman in it; he's mostly great. I've known him for years and years so I don't know whether he would have overshared if he didn't know me so well. It's more the other guy I'm worried about tbh
Your condoning his behaviour
ihatesandpits · 16/12/2020 22:32

I have a funny feeling I know your postman.

ihatesandpits · 16/12/2020 22:32

Btw I have reported said postman.

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