To think this is really creepy?

[thelittlefox]

So, this happened this afternoon, and at first I thought it was rank but funny, but I am now starting to think maybe I should do something/complain...

My postman is rather indiscreet. He's well-meaning and friendly but does like to overshare people's business. I learned long ago not to tell him anything I didn't want spread around our village, but he's pretty harmless really.

Yesterday he asked me to take a parcel for my neighbour, and said "give her a big smile when she comes to get it". I looked at the package and there was nothing about it to explain what he meant, but he said "google the return address hahaha", tapped his nose and went on his way. I am ashamed to admit that I did what he suggested, and it turns out the parcel was from Lovehoney. Completely plain packaging, you would literally need to know Lovehoney's postcode to know who it was from.

So I had a bit of a smirk to myself, although I'm not 12 so it wasn't really THAT exciting. Thought it was a bit grim that he'd pointed it out to me, but whatever.

Today, he asked me if I had googled it, and I said yes, but I asked him how come he knew? He said that someone at the sorting office kept an eye out for the postcode and alerted the delivery guys. He also said that the same guy also looked up the names on Facebook and passed their pictures around. At this point I went from having a bit of a laugh with him to being quite grossed out, and I told him he should have a word with his mate, as that's disgusting! He said (still smiling and joking about) "I'll tell him then that from a woman's point of view he's a pervert" and wandered off.

This is fucking horrible, isn't it? To go to the lengths of looking up names and addresses, it's borderline stalky, even if the pictures are public. The more I think about it, the more it bothers me.

So, am I being unreasonable to be worried about this, or should I forget about it (and get my butt-plugs posted to my sister to be the safe side )?

Thinking about it, it just sounds like a lie, by 'my mate' he means himself.

I wonder if you should report to Love Honey? They could make a complaint too

Looking out for the postcodes and looking up the recipient on social media is stalking. Do you have children, would be feel comfortable if they looked up your child for any reason? Do the decent thing and report it.

I think this needs reporting.

The whole 'check the returns' thing was bad enough for checking names/social media/sending round photos thing is just jaw-dropping!!!

The postie is grossly unprofessional for telling you this but the situation in the office is way worse.

I'd be raising this all over the place, starting with the local office and if nothing happens I'd be spilling all in a reply to one of their Tweets, potentially tagging in local newspapers - they HATE it when you do that!

Works though!!

@Smallsteps88

Please report this! From my experience with Royal Mail they will take this very seriously.

I hope so.

People should be allowed to buy what they like without this level of creepiness.

Yuck.

@thelittlefox
Your comment re. ''Get my butt plugs posted to your sister'' did make me laugh though.

I would tweet LoveHoney or something-if it looks like losing them business they will take action. It's absolutely awful.

A couple of times a few years ago when I ordered new bras from Figleaves the package looked like it had been opened and reseated. Now that seems a lot more suspicious to me.

Having worked for RM I can tell you the sorting offices are creepy AF! I wouldn’t doubt that there is someone there doing exactly what he told you and that the managers know as well, it’s all a bit o’banter, innit?(no, it fucking isn’t, it is stalkerish)

I’d definitely report this

Yes, it’s fucking creepy like wtaf royal mail? Hoping someone from RM reads this thread.

No wonder my postie is always chatting me up

That's just gross. Some men are such pigs.

Grim.

Bit of an eye-opener, isn’t it?

God only knows what goes on other offices. I was going to say ‘male dominated offices’, but I’m sure a klaxon will go off if I say that, and the usual Man Defender suspects will appear, with their usual NAMALT shiz.

I just can’t imagine grown women in the work place doing this. But maybe I’m being massively naive.

Truth be told, I can’t imagine any man I know doing this in the workplace, but I’m increasingly wondering if I live in some sort of rarefied ivory tower, and am completely out of touch with reality....

@CutToChase

Dont report it. This kind of shit probably goes on all the time across industries and companies.

They're bored at work and have been inappropriate I get it. But it's not worth getting people into trouble for IMO

This

It's nothing new sadly.
I recall chatting to our old postie some years back who basically said "oh you can't have secrets from us, we know all the senders postcodes" and then went on to mention plain packaging hiding nothing. It wasn't even about anything specific, I'd not ordered anything at the time but I've never ordered anything from Love honey etc since.

I honestly thought them knowing this was common knowledge.

Yep it smacks of “she must be gagging for it”. Who knows how this could escalate?

I remember reading the autobiography of a so-called forensic psychologist - who turned out to be no fucking use whatsoever in making links between two very high profile murders of women. Anyway in this book he was describing the lifestyle of one of the victims and mentioned her use of ads in contact magazines*. As if her doing that somehow opened her up to becoming the victim of a most evil murder.

This is clearly what they think.

Maybe none of them are potential murderers but I think the thrill of humiliating these women (as they see it) is psychopathic.

One can imagine the “banter. Sickening.

*a pre-Tinder way of hooking up for sex for the non-ancient reader

MerchantofVenom No, you’re not naive. You’re right.

Objectifying women as usual

Creepy and scary

Report, report, report

So strange, why do they track women down on Facebook, just to snigger about what they bought on Love Honey? Sounds like something Mary Whitehouse would do!

When I was a teenager I worked in a shop where one of the services they offered was developing photos from old school type cameras. The old perv that worked there showed me a stack of at least 100 photos of topless women, women posing in underwear, all quite tame but they were all customers who came in the shop regularly and he would talk to them and be friendly whilst showing their private photos to staff. They probably thought he was a nice guy.

Urgh! This is awful! Complete invasion of privacy and they will absolutely be breaking their code of conduct. I'd report

Please, please report it.

I had a very negative experience with a postman who tracked me down after seeing my pictures on photo postcards I had sent to people and the whole experience was really negative and sinister.

I’m sure he would have done the same thing to someone else, I wish I had reported it when it happened.

not RTFT but I'd say the postie was the worse of the two if anything.

Having a laugh about a parcel from a sex toy company, fine by me. Looking up the recipient and showing colleagues, not fine.

However, spreading the 'news' around the neighbourhood that the recipient had been buying kinky undies or whatever is the biggest breach as far as I'm concerned.

Out of employees at the depot looking at my picture, no doubt commenting on it and my neighbours knowing my very personal business, I would feel considerably more embarrassed by the latter (even though mine wouldn't give a toss!).

Not sure what action I would take, but I wouldn't be of the opinion the depot guy was further in the wrong.

@tectonicplates

I should have clarified, sorry. I was talking about searching for clients on social media. Mostly looking out of curiosity, but sometimes for more unethical reasons. Young lads searching women on Facebook who sounded 'fit' over the phone. Complaints handlers searching for people who've been particularly aggressive so they can laugh at their photos. This has been a regular occurance at several jobs I've had.

It's not right, of course, but it's naive to assume it doesn't happen.

This has really made me consider what my postie knows about me from my post
I think I'll be sticking with buying in store or on Amazon from now on...

Your postman isn't 'great'. He told you what your neighbour had ordered which is gossipy and frankly awful. It's a huge breach of her privacy and he and his 'mate' are as bad as each other, but in different ways.

I'm generally a pretty live and let live person, but I would definitely report this. I'm horrified by the both of them.

@VodrangeLime of course I understand why there’s a return address- but thanks for the sarcasm. The return address is quite often inside the parcel with a lot of things I’ve bought.