Would this bother you - teacher gift?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

At my DC's school I have a friend whose child is in year 1 (different classes to my kids). She's told me that there's been a bit of controversy and complaints because one parent is very good friends with the teacher and took the lead in organising a class teacher present. She asked the teacher what she wanted if she got a tenner off each parent (so £150). Teacher picked out a pair of designer shoes. And the friend asked all the parents for a tenner. A couple of parents have complained and the designer shoe plan had to be put to a stop.

I'm torn about how I feel about this. On the one hand I'd usually spend a tenner on my DC's teacher and I always welcome the opportunity for someone else to sort shit like this and why shouldn't the teacher get what she actually wants rather than 10 "best teacher mugs".

On the other hand I can see why it's kinda cheeky.

I teach secondary so rarely get presents from parents but I wouldn't mind a pair of designer shoes if this is the present standard now

What miserable fuckers.
I do not get why anyone would have an issue with this.

It's not grabby to expect something its totally conventional.
And why shouldn't she has a present she actually wants?

I also controversially(?) think there is nothing wrong with £10 (if anything its a bit cheap) My parents gave all my/my siblings teachers presents (they spent £20 a teacher at christmas and that was 20 years ago 🤷‍♀️)

the present teachers get is a wage paid by people going to work in the private sector paying tax

I personally find this kind of thing uncomfortable, I think mainly due to some of the teachers at sixth form who almost expected sizable gifts at the end of the year. One such teacher would mention (or bring in) the gift worth several hundred pounds that one of his classes the previous year had bought him seemingly in the expectation that we would try and top the value. Another teacher was jealous of that particular gift and would make regular hints that she would like one of her classes to purchase the same thing (which I believe one of the other classes did along with 2 live ducks (inner city sixth form so especially weird)). Another different teacher at the college was bought a toastie maker and ingredients and given it just after the coursework deadline with a note that went along the lines of 'we are giving you this so you won't be hangry when marking our coursework'.

I did the class collection this year and pretty much everyone gave a tenner(some gave more!)

15 in a class. Is that a private school?

I'm an ex teacher (secondary), now a sahm.
My kids are not yet at school so I've got all this to come.

It makes me absolutely cringe, both as a teacher and a parent.

If a parent wanted to give me a bottle of wine or some chica because I'd gone over and above then I would have been extremely grateful.
No gifts were ever expected though.

I don't think parents should be pressured into contributing. I fucking hate other people spending my money for me!

I don't understand the buying of a Christmas gift for a teacher. Why?
They are just doing their job of teaching children, which they get paid for doing anyway.

My kids school have actively said that teachers can't accept gifts this year due to coronavirus. Instead the head has asked that we send her our 'good wishes' that we want to say to the individual teachers and she will collate them on a scroll to give each teacher. I love my kids school!

@Babapudding in some cases, although you'd perhaps be surprised at the amount of extra time and resources teachers often spend on their students.

@yellowcatss

the present teachers get is a wage paid by people going to work in the private sector paying tax

What about private teachers?

@Babapudding

I don't understand the buying of a Christmas gift for a teacher. Why? They are just doing their job of teaching children, which they get paid for doing anyway.

To recognise that they're not just teaching the kids but also doing half the parenting it seems.

Based on the threads on here most kids would be royaly fucked if the teachers only taught them thier subject and didn't seem to be doing the parents job for them

I’ve recently started as a TA and the gift giving thing is a bit tricky.

I’ve had gifts this year from a couple of parents who I know probably couldn’t afford them, and I felt bad accepting them, but declining would serve no purpose (it’s not like they can take the chocolates back to Sainsbury’s or whatever).

I don’t think gifts are necessary, a card with nice words is lovely (or maybe say something nice to the head teacher as my end of probation review is coming up soon lol!!).

Asking for any gift would feel odd as it would place the expectation on parents to get me something / spend money they may not be able to afford.

As far as I know we don’t have to declare gifts in our school.....

I hate any teacher gifts where the amount to be given is stipulated. I’ve been at both ends of the scale- asked to donate 50p each to get an aldi bunch for flowers in an affluent school for the most amazing teacher....and then asked for £10 in another school for a teacher I didn’t like’s engagement.....on top of £10 for Christmas.

Aren’t gifts to professionals about saying “thank you” and recognition of individuals who may have gone over and above what was required? My mum has bought her GP a gift this year; my friend has bought gifts for the HCPs caring for her mother. I get gifts from some of my students, but not all. Whether or not I receive a gift makes no difference to how I treat or teach individual students; however, I do appreciate the fact that someone has thought of me and presumably thinks I am doing a good job. When my DC were secondary age, I did not contribute to class gifts but did ask them if there was a teacher that they wanted to buy a gift for - they usually mentioned one or two teachers and these were teachers that they had found particularly inspirational or supportive.

@womaninatightspot

I did the class collection this year and pretty much everyone gave a tenner(some gave more!)

Chances are that everyone felt obligated as a tenner was the ‘going rate’. No offence but IME the parents who take on themselves to organise these ‘class collections’ often have very little insight into the real financial pressures that some families may be facing. Years ago I was the life and soul of the PTA, then Ex left me penniless with small children. For three years I dreaded the annual Christmas and End of term collections yet felt obligated to contribute. Just STOP asking other parents for money. If you want to buy a present yourself do it.

I know a few teachers. Tbh they would want pens paper and materials rather than shoes. That would mean they don’t have to spend their own money on those bits!

[quote GlummyMcGlummerson]@Valenciaoranges I said that and it turns out they're not so much Gucci but that shop with the expensive and quirky shoes [/quote]
My Ds's teacher always wears those and we've been asked for £10. That's a state school teacher though.

@Mustbemagic I’ve no idea what people do for charity but I’ve a feeling that plenty do give plenty; we also raised money for a women’s refuge, more than we raised for teachers. There was no set amount for our teachers, but if people can afford to give a decent amount then why not. Disgusting isn’t a word I’d have used.

@Babapudding

I don't understand the buying of a Christmas gift for a teacher. Why? They are just doing their job of teaching children, which they get paid for doing anyway.

Why do you buy anyone a present? It's to show appreciation and give them a bit of a treat. Of course they already get paid, and of course it shouldn't be obligatory to give a gift but if someone wants to it's a nice thing to do. Especially in primary the teacher is a huge part of your child's life.

I give a small gift. I would do a £10 if it was to buy books and supplies for the classroom. Not to pay for a spa day.

Who better to buy a gift for someone than their friend? And, it's better to buy someone something useful they want, rather than several separate £10 gifts of chocolates or whatever else. Surely only those who wanted to contribute would and the others could do their own thing or nothing at all.

Agreed. You have to declare gifts for tax purposes. My mother in law worked as a TA in a private prep in footballers wives country. She got F&M hampers, hundreds of ££ in vouchers etc but they could obviously afford it. She was very embarrassed by it.
I might be out of order but I never contributed to these gifts when my son was at school, I find it really unnecessary. I’m in the public sector too and we all get paid to do our jobs.

I really don’t see why I should need to point this out....but those of us in the public sector contribute tax at the exactly the same rate as those in the private sector.
Also we pay your wages by purchasing whatever product or service you create.

@yellowcatss

the present teachers get is a wage paid by people going to work in the private sector paying tax

My last post was in response to this rather than a random rant 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

@Babapudding

I don't understand the buying of a Christmas gift for a teacher. Why? They are just doing their job of teaching children, which they get paid for doing anyway.

Lots of people give a gift to their cleaner; who is paid to clean houses, and nobody would get wound up about somebody else giving a present to a cleaner that costs a tenner.