Would this bother you - teacher gift?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

At my DC's school I have a friend whose child is in year 1 (different classes to my kids). She's told me that there's been a bit of controversy and complaints because one parent is very good friends with the teacher and took the lead in organising a class teacher present. She asked the teacher what she wanted if she got a tenner off each parent (so £150). Teacher picked out a pair of designer shoes. And the friend asked all the parents for a tenner. A couple of parents have complained and the designer shoe plan had to be put to a stop.

I'm torn about how I feel about this. On the one hand I'd usually spend a tenner on my DC's teacher and I always welcome the opportunity for someone else to sort shit like this and why shouldn't the teacher get what she actually wants rather than 10 "best teacher mugs".

On the other hand I can see why it's kinda cheeky.

I teach secondary so rarely get presents from parents but I wouldn't mind a pair of designer shoes if this is the present standard now

The whole thing is tasteless: the friend asking for £10 a head and the teacher asking for designer shoes. I’d complain to the head.

I am so tired of hearing about "poor" teachers Theyre always bumping their gums about how hard done to they are. I can think of at least 20 professions that work harder and deserve a tenner more. Save your money - they deserve nowt!

God what a stupid comment. I don't give a teacher a gift because I think it's the hardest job in the world. I do it because the woman spends all day with my kid 5 days a week so is a big part of their life and I want to show her that she's appreciated. A gift isn't a charity donation! No one's obliged to give £10 and you shouldn't if money is tight but why begrduge them a bloody gift at Christmas!

Our class used to do flowers for the class teacher until one of the other members of staff suggested she might appreciate booze more so we switched. No one was offended. If she preemptively requested a £200 bottle of bubbly that would be different and grabby!

Gosh, we don't even get a Christmas bonus where I work, and any gifts from suppliers vanish to management. Hard to put myself in the teachers shoes - no pun intended - but it used to be a hand made card for the teacher or a tiny little something the child chose themselves, if anything. feels odd to have an actual whip round. Like a lot of things, the sentiment has been lost and turned a bit commercial.

My child's teacher got aldi champagne and after eights.

He ta's got a bottle of vodka and a nice bottle of wine and chocolates each.

I’ve literally just finished wrapping a Christmas decorations my little boy chose for his teacher and assistant. I’m starting to worry this isn’t enough!

At this stage in my life I can afford to get them something nice.

If I couldn't then I wouldn't.
My mum is a ta.

She loves cards from the kids as
Much as anything.

The cards from the kids mean more to her as they are totally from the kids

@Pippa12

I have a lot of friends who teach primary and get a range of gifts from extravagant to none at all. I literally know no one who would be offended by not getting a gift or card at all. A thoughtful christmas decoration chosen by a child would be appreciated by any of them.

@Girlmama

Maybe it's different in an independent but I've worked in maintained schools and academy's and actually if a teacher receives a gift with a monetary value exceeding £20 it should be declared as it COULD be seen as a bribe for favouritism. This rarely happens but a gift of £150 would seriously raise eyebrows

At my independent school, gifts over £100 have to be declared for the same reasons mentioned above

@Pippa12 I still use a Xmas bauble that a child gave me in the 1990s. It is a very strange decoration, clearly chosen by the child rather than the mother - I love it and it is a family favourite. I still remember the little girl who gave it me.

Teachers present drive me crazy our” leader” of the parents asked for 25.00 last year per family towards teachers Xmas present ridiculous ! I did not contribute.

It seems a bit much to me, not necessarily against spending £10 on a teacher gift but in our school there’s a teacher and 2-3 TAs to buy for so it gets a bit much.

Teacher made the mistake as saying what she wanted. £10 each and a voucher for JL or M&S. If she said she wanted bed linen it wouldn’t have been a problem. I used to love giving £10 at Christmas took the headache away and teacher got something useful rather than the usual shit teacher gifts that all used to be donated to our charity shop in mid January. Strangely they never donated booze though.

I agree with jeschara
I have 4 children in different schools/ classes .. £10 per child for a present for their teacher is ridiculous.

I like the idea of parents grouping together to get a joint gift / voucher, but designer shoe request by the teacher feels a bit grabby

I really disagree with asking parents to contribute a set amount. We decided to donate whatever amount you’d like. Suggestion was £2-£5, but no pressure to give anything at all and only one parent knows who gave what as it was all done by bank transfer. I gave a little more as I could afford it and was happy to, and I think others did too as we ended up with a higher total than expected.

The point is that the voucher was given from the whole class. Nobody was left out or forced into contributing anything. The teacher didn’t know anything about it in advance either.

@katienana

Schools ought to be putting a stop to this. Our school has had poverty proofing so there are no teacher gifts, no sweets or gifts brought in for birthdays, no dress up days and no branded items in school. The school are great at providing fun activities without any of these things and it has taken any pressure off parents and children.

This is a Marvellous idea!

To be frank with the appalling behaviour of many teachers, supported by their unions, since March I’m not sure any of them deserve presents this year.

She should have asked for voluntary donations and got a voucher.

Are there not policies about acceptance of gifts . I worked in the NHS where it was very clear that you could only accept token gifts of low value. For a teacher in the state system surely it would be inappropriate for them to accept such a large gift

Stopped doing Xmas presents for teachers when second DS went to school.
Thw teachers at our school are all lovely in their own way but they are not our friends - they ate doing a job that they get paid for.
I do however; but a little something at the end of the year. Usually post twa bags, biscuits and perhaps a pen or something.
Last year I gave them a book and beautiful gold feather bookmark. It cost me about £7 each I think.
With soo many families struggling it seems so unfair to put a £10 minimum. As if Xmas isn't expensive and stressful enough!

I think that a gift should be something that a a parent /child decides to give to the teacher if they want to do that, the moment it is a class gift there is sense of obligation. I also think that the school should monitor gift giving in the same way most organisations do.

Why wouldn't you want to get them something they actually would love?

Some of the parents at my DDs school are asking for £10 for Christmas and £10 at the end of the year - I’m a single parent and simply cannot afford it