What things do you find rude that others don’t seem to?

[TheRaccoon]

I’ll go first:

• People who season food before they’ve tried it
• People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
• People who are late for no reason

God also people who overstay their welcome!

I have a friend who is fab. But I will do almost anything to avoid having her to my house because she NEVER LEAVES. she will stay hours and hours. Disrupting the kids’ bedtime. Never taking any sort of hint.

I am far too antisocial for that noise.

Sellers on Facebook marketplace that read messages then ignore, also when sellers don't mark the item as sold, surely they get fed up with enquiries.

stacking plates at the table, while people are still sitting at it, i find disgusting and such bad form.
some people even do it in private homes.
also people who do not wipe their feet at the threshold.
maybe this is related to the shoes off inside debate. i still find it inappropriately intimate/domestic to take my shoes off in other people's houses, but will do so if requested.
but people who have to come into the house for work reasons, eg a nurse, or surveyor, or plumber, surely you would not expect them to take their shoes off.
but everyone ought to wipe their feet.

People who don't ask questions about your life or how you are when they see you. People who don't use your name in conversations.

Not saying please or Thank you
Technology at the table
Being on your phone when having coffee etc

Blowing your nose at the dining table. Just expelling bodily fluids in front of everyone while they’re eating! It’s disgusting. It used to be considered terrible manners years ago but people nowadays are very lax about manners in general.

Also people who give very short, curt replies to long, carefully composed emails that you have sent!

People who ask to try some of what I’ve ordered in a restaurant. MIL will say “Ooh that looks nice, can I have a bit?” but before she has even finished that sentence her fork is halfway towards my plate. I find it really bad manners but I can’t quite explain why.

stacking plates at the table, while people are still sitting at it
It drives me insane. That’s what staff are for. In a private home the host should do it. But people aren’t taught basic manners nowadays.

When I’m having a conversation with someone and their child interrupts and instead of telling them to wait and not interrupt, they immediately cut you off to speak to the child
My mother taught me I was allowed to put my hand on her arm for attention, and she would put her hand on top of mine to acknowledge me, then I had to wait quietly until she spoke to me. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I’d interrupted; she’d have been furious.

No saying thank you for things - such as when you do them a big favour. Making specific arrangements to do something - and then expecting you to change them at short notice, because they've decided to get their hair done/need to see someone else. Expecting a big fuss re their special events, (gift list etc) but having no interest in your own events.

People expecting me to pay for them, because apparently I have more money

People expecting me to move mountains, or at least time zones in order to accommodate their schedule.

Hosting. They think I like it. I don't. And don't try and persuade DH with all your stupid excuses, we can see right through you! It's always to your own benefit.

Blowing your nose. So gross.

@rawlikesushi

People who expect others to wait until everyone's food has arrived, even though their food is going cold.

People who expect other adults to remove their clean shoes at the door, as if they're small children.

People who have an opinion on how others season their own food.

People who say pardon, and insist on telling your child to say pardon instead of what, because they're unaware that actually, 'what' is the more polite word.

I'm glad someone finally posted this because I was going to.

I am not sure I would even notice if others have started eating while I waited to be served or was still serving myself. In fact, I would probably be more surprised if they hadn't.

Why is how and when other people season their food such an issue? I think it would be very rude to pass comment or try to instruct people at all.

Elbows on the table doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's natural, and fine as long as you aren't blocking the person next to you out.

I'm not bothered really whether someone says pardon or what, neither offends me.

I'm probably verging on uncouth, but I don't care.

Other things - as an introvert I tend to find extroverts loud, brash, often overbearing and rude. They often seem to have little concept of others not being just like them.

I wouldn't often choose to go out in big social groups. On the odd occasion I have made a foray into such a setting I do make efforts at conversation - if I can get a word in edgeways.

An evening out with such people (extroverts) doesn't energise me. It leaves me worn out, somewhat anxious and glad to go home. That is why I didn't like going out and will avoid it for as long as I can.

Being in a social setting with people who ‘must’ update their social media every 5 effing minutes. Ironically often with shit like #living in the moment or #be present.

This week I saw a dear friend for the 1st time in 2020. She kept multitasking with her phone throughout the visit. When I enquired about it (yes, possibly with a bit of a ‘tone’) she said she was apologising for not doing a ‘welfare check-in’ as soon as we met up. To a worldwide fandom group she belongs to.

Yes, Matilda in Ottawa needs desperately to be reassured that you survived an 11 minute drive to a mates’ place for lunch on the other side of the planet, in the opposite timezone?!

(Note: she has no health or emotional issues that would be in play with this, or any, scenario. She’s a perfectly average 50yo woman)

People who won’t order starter/dessert in restaurants but then want to try mine.

An ex’s DM once told the waiter in a restaurant that she wouldn’t bother with her free side dish, as she could just have some of mine. Luckily my ex came to the rescue and said “Mum, thebakeoff hates sharing, just order your own!”

Most things do not bother me unless poor hygiene is involved.

If I go to a public toilet and I wash my hands afterwards I do not want to have to open the door to get outside. It negates the hand washing.

If I go to someone's house and they offer me a drink and then take a used cup and rinse it under the tap without washing it properly I feel revolted.

People who don’t say thank you for presents
People letting their kids interrupt at length when on the phone
People whispering to each other in your company

[quote PandemicPalava]@CutToChase so many of you feel like this!

Just to present the introvert perspective, well mine at least, I don't always speak because I am crap in groups and can't work out when to interject, how to join in. The social awkwardness means I miss the gap in conversation and start to panic inside. I start to feel like I can't enjoy the conversation properly as I am concentrating so hard to listen while panicking and also trying to figure out how to join in. This usually ends in me frozen and wishing I wasn't there. I also feel more comfortable with people who don't talk so much so the gaps are bigger for me to attempt to speak in. Introverts a lot of the time don't know how to do small talk but I bet, get into a meaty honest conversation and you won't shut us up [/quote]
I. Blooming. Love. You!

I was feeling a bit antsy and defensive about the prior posts. You’ve summed it up really well, thank you.

And I do try to understand how those on the opposite side feel.

Any kind of mobile phone use in a social situation. Especially at the dinner table or at a cafe. Kids are included in this. If your kid is on an ipad at the table, that's rude. They can be forced to make conversation.

When you don't acknowledge or say hello to my kids when they're with me. Like they don't even exist.

YY putting salt or hot sauce on dinner before even tasting it (that's you, DH!)

And here's one for 2020,

Being online for a virtual meeting but your camera's off so no one can tell whether you're listening or scrolling social media.

Fine when it's a conference for 20. Not fine when its a working meeting for 3.

@DonkeyMcFluff

When I’m having a conversation with someone and their child interrupts and instead of telling them to wait and not interrupt, they immediately cut you off to speak to the child My mother taught me I was allowed to put my hand on her arm for attention, and she would put her hand on top of mine to acknowledge me, then I had to wait quietly until she spoke to me. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I’d interrupted; she’d have been furious.

@) I’m not a parent (so not sure if it’s a good idea or not) and b)not totally sure from your post how you felt about this.

But, from a novice point of view, I quite like it. Your mum had let you know in advance re “interrupting” and you knew the code that she had “heard” you. IMO, much better than kids constantly interrupting, but happy to be told if it’s not a good approach.

My ‘dear’ SIL berates everyone who never says thanks to her and her family, yet she never says thank you to us. My gifts are from a provided list of tiny tears and generation dolls. My children get Poundland copies of my little ponies.

Pet names, being called hon, love, babe, darl etc Even worse when it's by a stranger or someone you barely know.

When men call women 'Love' - not wives or significant others but women doing their job, serving them at the checkout etc. Drives me insane.

When DH pats me on the backside in public - instant white hot fury.

People who silently walk behind you (eg in trainers) on a narrow path and then huff and puff and shove to get past you...like you knew they were there! Say something! Good morning, excuse me, may I pass etc etc grrrrrr!