What things do you find rude that others don’t seem to?

[TheRaccoon]

I’ll go first:

• People who season food before they’ve tried it
• People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
• People who are late for no reason

Putting your knife in your mouth! We were always told as kids it was extremely bad manners and I cringe whenever I see someone do it. DH does it occasionally a lot and it drives me mad.

Is it a thing to not put a knife in your mouth?!

@Ideasplease322

People who interrupt. A member of my team talks over the top of me all the time. I tell him to stop every time. 🤬

Oh this with bells on! Especially when you’ve barely got 3 words into your sentence. They just talk over you as if you weren’t talking. It’s contemptuous and entitled!

People who are difficult to make plans with.
People who say "shut up" (in general, not to express their surprise, that's the worst), I just find the saying really rude.

If anything, I have more things that I don't consider rude that others do.

Most of these don't bother me at all, and others are a mild irritation at most. Putting the knife in your mouth ? Who gives a shit?

And walking into my house wearing shoes without asking, it goes right through me.

People clearing plates away before everyone has finished eating.

People that invite me to couples events when I am single. It's not inclusive because it will be "shall we have just the girls for the meal?" "No it will be much more fun with the husbands there too". Great I'll just hire one for the evening or make up an excuse not to go.
I would never say "let's all bring the kids, it will be much more fun" to a group of people including one who cant have kids.

But with seasoning of food, if you know that you will always want more salt and pepper, surely better just to add it straight away rather than taking a polite bite and then raining down the seasoning? Doesn’t the latter run the risk of implying the food tastes awful? Whereas the first is just knowing you always want salt?

^ This

I always need to season my food more. I feel way more rude if I try a bite THEN grab the salt. It feels like I'm saying it tastes bad. Seasoning straight away feels more like proof I'm a bit weird.

Here's mine: most people serve bland, bland food I think many follow a recipe and put exactly what is called for in without tasting. And just sprinkle a bit of salt in or a pinch. If you're making soup for 6 people you can't just sprinkle a little bit of salt in and expect it to be flavourful

@Hathertonhariden

People clearing plates away before everyone has finished eating.

Definitely

Also people who watch tv or have it on in the background when you are there. Or let children who are old enough to know better interrupt.
Lateness unless it is a one off.

Vaping walking down the street so I have to inhale your exhaled air freshener fumes. Worrying in Covid times too. If I'm smelling your disgusting perfumed breath what else am I inhaling? Just absolutely gross!

Oh! The dad at the school gates who doeant wear a mask because he says he is exempt, and he stands there vaping so not just normal breathing without a mask, but blowing his breath out so particles spread further. I'm realy not covid obsessed but that really pisses me off, but it's probably.more because I really hate smokers and vapers.

People getting mobile phones out when they’re mid conversation with you, or at the dining table. DH often absentmindedly does it while in conversation and it makes me furious!

Also: ignorant people who smoke weed in the street or public parks.

People who watch TV when you're visiting them.
When two people hold a long conversation about someone they both know in front of someone who doesn't know that person.
When you meet a new person and they ask you nothing about yourself at all.

All these three things done by dp's late mother.

Questions regarding how much money you've spent / earned.
Drivers who don't thank you if you let them pass.

People who say "hello!?" when what they really mean is 'excuse me'. The 'hello' is usually in a sharp tone at loud volume.
Hello is a salutation, not a way of attracting someone's attention.

Whats wrong with parents spending tme with their kids? An invite is not a court summons and ots not rude to do something else.

You don’t have to accept an invitation, but if you do, isn’t it rather inconsiderate to let the host down without a good reason? Especially if a child ends up sobbing on their birthday, because half of their friends didn’t bother to turn up to their party.

Staffy1, at your friend’s rudeness. Surely a normal person would have said to the party host, “I’d love to come, but I’ve got a friend coming over tonight”. And as it was an informal, last minute affair, the host would probably have said “no problem - bring your friend!” If you weren’t invited too, your friend shouldn’t have gone. Some people!

I swear it was once a rule of etiquette that if you accepted an invitation to a social event, you stuck with it unless you had a pretty big reason for cancelling. I’m talking about events planned and hosted by someone, not a large group going for drinks at a pub on Friday nights. But I may have imagined this rule, as many people will happily admit to the host that they cancelled on them due to a better offer.

I feel that the introverts come off better on this thread than the extroverts who seem judgemental and intolerant (I'm more towards the extrovert end of the spectrum for anyone inclined to make assumptions)

People who think that saying 'what' is polite because they aspire to move in the same circles as the queen, but don't.

Likewise people who insist that thanking the waiter/waitress is unnecessary, for similar class-based reasons.

If you are having a knees up with Prince Philip or a sit-down meal for twenty at Le Manoir aux Quat' Saisons, sure, do what you think the wait staff will find most polite and comfortable.

But if you are in your local pub, where the waiter is a gangly 17 year old lad, not saying thanks because you think it is posh is just you being a pretentious dick.

People who shout 'hellllooooo' to get your attention

People who confuse introverts with being shy/having social anxiety I'm an introvert - I find being around other people tiring and honestly 95% of the time I'd rather not, I genuinely don't understand why people feel sad when they don't get to see other people for ages. But I'm not shy or socially awkward in the least and I don't just let others dominate the conversation - it's just that I like much less of it than people who prefer that environment. I'm not incapable of it, I just don't prefer it.

(I can't think of an actual answer - all of the things I think are rude are generally accepted as rude! My #1 is ending emails with 'KR' instead of kind regards. Insincere motherfuckers)

Cut to the chase absolutely. The number of work social events I basically “carried” and went home exhausted.

Fil is hopeless and sits there silently. After a particularly gruelling time at work I decided I couldn’t be arsed at their family event and mirrored fil so basically sat there and only spoke when spoken to. Within minutes it was noticed “are you ok” etc. Why does he get to sit there silently but I don’t ? 🙄 Not even my flipping family 🙄

Virtual meetings where the chair is obviously still reading through info they're supposed to present and there's massive periods of silence.

People who don’t do you the courtesy of listening and people who talk with their mouth full. Both high on my list of pet hates.

People that invite me to couples events when I am single

People who don't invite me to couples events now I am widowed.

It's a pisser, and surprisingly widespread, as other widows I know have found this. Even worse is when a couple I knew when married, but when meeting now for a coffee/film, find they bring along someone I've never clapped eyed on in my life. It's as if I'm not a real person any more. Also means I have to spend ages doing polite chit-chat with Ms Newbie when what I want to do is catch up with the couple.

When I've mentioned this to other women they all say it's because I'm assumed to want want to jump the bones of the male half of the couple.