What things do you find rude that others don’t seem to?

[TheRaccoon]

I’ll go first:

• People who season food before they’ve tried it
• People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
• People who are late for no reason

Vulgarity and swearing on Mumsnet. It’s so cringeworthy.

do not greet a person if you are in the same room
not express gratitude for anything

Sometimes it's a minefield. I was in a very small shop the other day, looking for one particular item. I didn't know the shop, but I could guess where the item might be, and there was already someone there browsing the shelves. I was in no rush, so stood well back and waited for her to finish. After a couple of minutes, she looked up and snapped 'You could just say ''excuse me'', you know!'. So she thought I was rude for giving her space, and naturally I thought she was rude for telling me so.

Mobile phones, your talking to someone and their phone goes, sod you, this person on the phone is far more important than you, just stand or sit while I have this phone conversation, heaven forbid you ring them back after we’ve finished are chat.

Limit you are right, it is hard to tell the difference and I appreciate your DD's position is obviously very difficult and challenging for her.
Perhaps I am thinking more of people who love to 'announce' that they have social anxiety and can't possibly do X,Y or Z but seem to have no problem doing other things ... someone I vaguely know keeps telling me how lonely she is and that she has no friends 'due to social anxiety', I have made countless suggestions - groups to join, volunteering opportunities etc etc but she is always negative and has a 'reason' for not doing something ... Yet she still seems to want to hang round me ... I think the only thing she wants to do is sit with someone one-to-one and talk about herself non stop .... that sort of attitude is not going to endear her to anyone.

I am sure your DD is not like that, but what sort of approach would be helpful to your DD?

People who decline outlook meeting invitations without suggesting an alternative time/ date or giving an explanation

People who decline outlook meeting invitations without suggesting an alternative time/ date or giving an explanation.

I agree, but would also add: people who have access to your calendar and send you an outlook invitation for a time that is already busy in your calendar.

*I agree that eating before others is rude. Because if you are sitting down to eat together, then you are sharing a meal. If you've already half finished yours before they start, they are going to feel pressure to rush eating theirs, or you are going to be sat looking at an empty plate for a while as they finish.

If you are eating a meal together, then you are eating a meal together.

Eating as a group is a social activity that's more than just about putting calories in your body.*

I disagree. It’s uncomfortable to stare and watch your food get cold waiting for someone else’s to arrive and theirs is hot. I rather others eat while their food is fresh than waiting for mine to arrive. Plus, some people are slow eaters, some are fast eaters, some eat first than talk, or eat and take breaks talking so regardless there will usually be someone finished before everyone else.

I can easily talk and wait instead of expecting everyone to wait for mine while their food gets cold.

@Beefcurtains79

“ If there are people out there who see their conversational input as 'doing the fact lifting' - you are saying you don't enjoy it and my view is you don't have to do it. A different conversation, equally interesting, could happen if you stop taking so much onto yourselves.”

How incredibly arrogant you sound. I’m confused why do you insistently keep using the word ‘performing’. No one wants you to perform, just to nod and politely return the question when someone asks how you are.

I'm laughing at the idea of me being arrogant, is amazing how people interpret each other via the internet!

You sound very cross.

@JassyRadlett YES! I agree with that too.

Loud sneezers. There is a special place reserved in hell for you

Women who scan me up and down when they meet me. You’re not as discrete as you think 🙄

People who shake their heads and or tut. Just have the guts to say whatever is pissing you off. PA behaviour doesn’t wash with me

People who use ‘regards’ when you have used ‘best regards’. Rude!

That is so unfair! I literally cannot help being a loud sneezer. My mother is too and was sent out of a geography lesson for it and is still pissed off at the injustice of that and she is 70 plus!

I agree about the tutting though that is incredibly annoying my mil does it frequently and makes me feel murderous

@CutToChase

None of these are controversial in the slightest. I do actually have a controversial one:

Introverts who don't make an effort. I know I'll get slaughtered for saying it, but I do find it rude in social situations when people take a backseat and let others do the conversational heavylifting consistently.

I'm tired too. I think its inane too. You arent somehow more emotionally intelligent for remaining basically dumb throughout the entire evening, but you are rude because you're relying on other people putting in the effort to give the evening some semblance of meaning. Because if we all just sat there quietly well.... That would be awkward.

Whoops I am certainly guilty of this! Most of the time it's because I can't think of anything to say though, not because I don't want to talk. My extroverted partner is so good at making conversation and I always wonder how he thinks of things to say!

Some of these are bad manners and will come across as rude.
Some of these are just posters moaning!
Moan moan moan.
And yet I'm reading it

Many quiet people face the choice of 'performing' or being interpreted as rude, rather than just quiet.

Oh this. As a child and young adult i was painfully shy. Painfully so. If someone looked at me i would go scarlet in the face, i would start sweating my heart would start to race my breathing would become laboured my hands and face would go numb and clammy and it would sound like a wind tunnel in my ears. I would always politely acknowledge someone and say hello and thank them if they were hosting, yet the amount of times i have been called rude and arrogant by fucking strangers because i dont saunter around inserting my opinion everywhere and kept myself to myself unless spoken too. I have had people also demand to know why i have bothered showing up to events at all including family weddings ive not had much choice to attend.

(im not like it now i can chat shit to strangers for hours now but would never dream of bullying a shy person)

People who don't stop talking. I know someone like this and it's like a long monologue.everytime.

I end up switching off.

Why is being quiet seen as rude?
Maybe they dont want to talk to you.
If you don't want to carry the conversation, talk to someone else
Why is silence a bad thing?
Even in a social situation when it is expected, move on and talk to someone else?

I have been to THREE weddings where I have been seated at a table with grandparents/awkward steparents/curmudgeonly aunts because the brides (close friends) thought I’d be great at being charming and having a laugh so these people would relax and enjoy the wedding. I hate it. I feel like a performing seal. I want to sit with my friends and have a laugh. I’m not wildly extrovert but I will be friendly and chatty and make small talk sound interesting (I talk for a living), so I get the ‘privilege’ of sitting with family. Just because I can shouldn’t mean I have to.

I used to fill in the silences, I was so appealing and so much fun until I decided to just sit out those silences

People who insist on moving their knives to left and forks to the right, especially when they are right handed

What if you are trapped on a table at a work event wedding or someone else’s family event (in laws) and the person you are stuck with won’t engage in small talk? Rude.

May I ask for some advice from those who find talking in social situations easy or doable?

I can cope just fine at either end of the stranger > friend spectrum of people because conversation flows naturally with friends, and I can do generic "getting to know you" chit chat with strangers. It's situations such as work nights out that I find excruciatingly difficult because I'll already have used up my pleasantries during the working day but don't know my colleagues well enough to talk in any depth like you would with a friend.

Any tips on how to keep a conversation going with people you semi know without interrogating them beyond the usual getting to know you stuff you'd do with strangers?

People who shorten your name with out asking, or who can't be bothered to learn how to pronounce your name because it's a bit foreign.

1. People who take ages to reply to your WhatsApp when you know they're online and not busy.. Fucking infuriating ( well to me it is!! Grrr)
2. Constant, blatant lateness
3. Calling me Hun in a text!