What things do you find rude that others don’t seem to?

[TheRaccoon]

I’ll go first:

• People who season food before they’ve tried it
• People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
• People who are late for no reason

@HearMeSnore

Shouting from another room instead of coming to find me and talk to face to face.

DH sometimes does this and it makes me growl internally. I couldn't put my finger on why, until DD started doing it and I had to explain why she shouldn't. It turns out it's because when you shout to someone in another room and expect a response, what you're actually saying is "I can't see you, so I don't know what you're doing, but it can't possibly be as important as talking to me, so stop doing it and give me your full attention."

I was very careful to explain this loudly, within earshot of DH.

Man alive! Being shouted at through the walls gets on my very last nerve.

As kids, my mum used to tell us off for that and now i know why it used to wind her up so much.

I'm constantly reminding my husband not to do it as well.

@ChristmasUserName2020
Maybe they didnt have cash on them as they were just expecting to walk home? Maybe they are on a really tight budget and were just expecting to walk home....

@immortalstone
Depends on the situation. I wouldn't say waiting for everyone to be ready start a meal is a middle class pretension - its common practice many places around the world.

Shouting from another room instead of coming to find me and talk to face to face

My Ex would do this! He took it to another level, as he would have the radio blaring, so he wouldn't hear me reply then I would hear him angrily swearing about how ignorant I was for not replying. I would explain I was replying but he couldn't hear, yet he would repeat this every single bloody day.

You can see why he is my Ex.

@SarahAndQuack

People who think that saying 'what' is polite because they aspire to move in the same circles as the queen, but don't.

Likewise people who insist that thanking the waiter/waitress is unnecessary, for similar class-based reasons.

If you are having a knees up with Prince Philip or a sit-down meal for twenty at Le Manoir aux Quat' Saisons, sure, do what you think the wait staff will find most polite and comfortable.

But if you are in your local pub, where the waiter is a gangly 17 year old lad, not saying thanks because you think it is posh is just you being a pretentious dick.

Amen to that. I feel like lots of people have seen that episode/scene of The Crown where Princess Margaret is abominably rude to Margaret Thatcher.

No way was the 'what/pardon' discussion that widely discussed before that episode was seen.

Nearly everything to do with eating ...

Talking with their mouth full

Not closing their mouth when eating

Using their fingers instead of a knife and fork

Making lots of noise when eating

I could go on for ages. Basically, I don't like people's personal habits such as burping or passion wind! It's just rude!!!!

[quote Shaniac]@LaceyBettybut why is it rude? If you are someone who eats excessive salt or pepper or throws mayo on cornflakes you already know its not to your taste so why would you bother having a bite of something knowing you wont like it and then seasoning the shit out of it after? My dp seasons before tasting, doesnt bother me as i know i couldn't cook with as much salt and condiments he eats. Surely it would be ruder to have one bite and declare its not to your taste and then season it.[/quote]
Oh, I agree with you. It's something my husband thinks is rude but I don't. It is quite silly because I have never tasted his cooking (and he does most of it) and not seasoned it after, so it's a stupid dance that ensures we have a nice evening later!

People who interrupt or don't listen (ie they look at you when you're talking but you can tell they are actually looking over your shoulder and aren't engaged)!

Depends on the situation. I wouldn't say waiting for everyone to be ready start a meal is a middle class pretension - its common practice many places around the world

I always saw it as dinner party etiquette - we were working class and never did it. We never developed dinner party etiquette as we never had dinner parties. Apparently the totally upper classes don't do it either. Either way its bloody stupid and pointless to sit there not eating with your food in front of you as it goes cold.. It does annoy me that such a pointless and arbitrary convention is seen as so rude not to obey.. I think its just a social divider, to decide who is 'in' and knows the rules and who is 'out'. Its the only explanation I can think of for such dumbness.

People who don't tip in restaurants or leave a tip for cleaners when they leave the hotel/caravan etc x

I agree that insisting others wait for you before starting to eat is a dumb arbitrary rule and actually quite self involved. Likewise stubbornly refusing to start eating - all you're doing is putting me on edge and making me feel bad.

Over hosting - people constantly trying to feed you, insisting you take biscuits etc when I don't bloody want one. A friend literally offers and if you refuse she continues to stand there shaking the box at you until you take one. My old nana would offer absolutely every single item of food she had in her house. Do you want a biscuit? Grapes? Yoghurt? Sandwich? Chocolate? STOP IT YOU'RE BEING ANNOYING.

Organising a hen do that includes having to take Friday off work.

I'm sure I'll be back with more...

@SilverBirchWithout

Shortening people's names if you don't know them well. If Deborah wanted to be called Debbie or Debs, she would have introduced herself to you as such Oh yes this makes me so annoyed, I feel like saying in my haughtiest voice ‘sorry you don’t know me’. But contrarily, once someone is close I have no problem at all with my name being shortened!

I agree with this completely - when people just shorten names, it's so rude! Especially kids names..why adults insist on calling my eldest son 'Micky, Mike..' it's Michael..it's really easy to say!!!

@Pukkatea

I agree that insisting others wait for you before starting to eat is a dumb arbitrary rule and actually quite self involved. Likewise stubbornly refusing to start eating - all you're doing is putting me on edge and making me feel bad.

Over hosting - people constantly trying to feed you, insisting you take biscuits etc when I don't bloody want one. A friend literally offers and if you refuse she continues to stand there shaking the box at you until you take one. My old nana would offer absolutely every single item of food she had in her house. Do you want a biscuit? Grapes? Yoghurt? Sandwich? Chocolate? STOP IT YOU'RE BEING ANNOYING.

Organising a hen do that includes having to take Friday off work.

I'm sure I'll be back with more...

I over host...I'm going to stop doing it now though! X

When people ask you to take your shoes off indoors...when you've literally just moved from your car to their house. My in-laws insist on taking off their shoes and walking around my house with their nasty dry skin peeling off onto my carpet. I always say 'please keep your shoes on, it's absolutely fine' but they make a point of it because we have to take our shoes off in their house.

Last Christmas Day, they all came round and took their shoes off, no problem, but no bugger bought slippers to wear instead, and I balked at all that unsocked skin on my lovely carpet. I mean, it's fucking ridiculous!

Obviously different if you have dirty shoes or crawling babies...!!

Re. The introvert/extrovert thing;

I'm happy to not talk. I'm happy not knowing about your holidays, pets etc. I'm happy not telling you a single thing about myself.

People can be together, and enjoy events, without an endless exchange of information. We don't have to get to know each other, it's ok...honestly.
I usually take knitting to events I have to attend (weddings etc) and pop myself down out of the way. I usually attract the other quiet ones, and apart from a nod of acknowledgement, we sit together in happy silence.

@ClaireP20

You need to buy guest slippers and insist they put them on. I went to someone's house and they had these big loose slipper things that asked guests to wear.

Over hosting - people constantly trying to feed you, insisting you take biscuits etc when I don't bloody want one. A friend literally offers and if you refuse she continues to stand there shaking the box at you until you take one. My old nana would offer absolutely every single item of food she had in her house. Do you want a biscuit? Grapes? Yoghurt? Sandwich? Chocolate? STOP IT YOU'RE BEING ANNOYING.

This is a standard Irish thing though, you're expected to refuse a few times politely before accepting. Really upset my Irish relatives when they visited, got offered biscuits, said no and my mum accepted them at face value.

I usually take knitting to events I have to attend (weddings etc) and pop myself down out of the way. I usually attract the other quiet ones, and apart from a nod of acknowledgement, we sit together in happy silence

I think this is a really lovely way to find your tribe!

Well - re not starting to eat before everyone served - there is etiquette and there are manners - two different things - I think manners is making your guests feel comfortable and welcome. Etiquette is relevant less frequently

@MoltenLasagne fair enough, but also none of these people are Irish!

In that scenario, are you ever allowed to actually refuse or is that rude?

@Shaniac mayo on cornflakes?? Really?

Surely the polite thing is to (politely) turn down an invitation if you won't wish to attend, I would think it very odd to go to a wedding and sit in a corner with my knitting. Unless it is a very casual, low key wedding the hosts will have spent a significant amount of money on your meal etc.

I have no hesitation in politely sending my regrets if I don't wish to attend a function and if I absolutely have to (although can't think of anything that would be so important that my absence would be noted) I would just go and make the most of it.

Bloody fed up with everything always being about introverts, as though being extroverted is a bad thing. Its polite to make an effort ffs, and if you can't, then why bother going out

Because half the time you don't really have a choice as you get accused of bring anti-social and not a team player. So you can't win really. You don't go and you're not a team player, and you do go and don't enjoy it and you're a miseryguts.

Why do some people need so much validation from others? It's like runners who constantly complain about other runners not saying hi to them as they pass "because we have the same hobby". Well they be very out of breath, knackered, listening to something, in their little world, etc. I find it a bit needy.

Not saying thank you for a gift.

People in town centres canvassing who approach you in an over familiar way, like Hey lovely mummy, can i just stop you a minute? Just fuck off!