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Original poster

What things do you find rude that others don’t seem to?

802 replies

TheRaccoon · 16/12/2020 19:32

I’ll go first:

  • People who season food before they’ve tried it
  • People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
  • People who are late for no reason
OP posts:
inquietant · 17/12/2020 07:47

Actually, you do need to perform

Oh shit, what will happen if I don't?!

Seriously, what will happen to me if I don't talk to a stranger in a sufficiently animated fashion at a wedding?

It is the other party who 'needs' me to talk to them.

LurkingLotus · 17/12/2020 07:48

But that's the whole point everybody loves people watching and taking in the scene. That doesnt make you unique. But if everybody just people watched... There wouldnt be any people to watch

Of course there would! In fact, if we were free to just 'be' in a place without having to 'perform', then all the introverts would come out Smile

inquietant · 17/12/2020 07:49

[quote CutToChase]@LurkingLotus
But that's the whole point everybody loves people watching and taking in the scene. That doesnt make you unique. But if everybody just people watched... There wouldnt be any people to watch[/quote]
This is not true, some people genuinely want to be on the dance floor.

The people who get most cross with those who feel able to stay quiet are the people who force themselves to perform/talk I think.

Al1langdownthecleghole · 17/12/2020 07:52

@OMGIShotMyEyeOut

Blowing your nose. So gross.
So should you let it drip? Grin
Lovemusic33 · 17/12/2020 07:54

I hate it when people are late, I have a friend who’s always late so I now tell her I’m meeting her half an hour earlier so I know she will be there in time.

Paperyfish · 17/12/2020 08:02

I find it rude when people feel compelled to comment negatively on my appearance.
“Wow, you look so tired today!”
“ are you ok- look a bit under the weather!”
“Getting really big now, aren’t you!” (Am visibly pregnant)
If it’s some one who actually lives me and is concerned ( husband, mum, close friend) I could write it off as genuine concern- other wise it’s just so rude and upsetting. I don’t want to know you think I look tired/ Ill/ fat. In fact, don’t comment on my appearance at all!

Housewife2010 · 17/12/2020 08:03

I have a friend who doesn't drive and often asks for lifts home. She doesn't seem to realise that we don't live close. She has been cross with me on a couple of occasions when we've both had our children with us and there wasn't room in my car. She also asked for a lift after a night out that made my journey home half an hour longer. I told her it was the opposite direction but she insisted. Now I often tell her I'm not going straight home just to get out of lifts. I don't mind helping out friends who live close but think it's rude to be considered a free taxi service. Fortunately Covid means she hasn't asked me for the last few months!

Aerial2020 · 17/12/2020 08:03

@MsTSwift

So sitting at a table at a work event or wedding or extended family meal and everyone sits there in silence you think thats ok? It’s utter cringe! So someone with manners then needs to make conversation. As an adult you need to give back socially. You don’t need to dance on the table and flash your knickers but you do need to engage.
What if they struggle socially? What if they have ASD? And yes they can still hold down jobs and relationships but find social situations hard. The world is built for neurotypical, this post only proves that.
EurosprogBauble · 17/12/2020 08:06

@Andante57

People who are late for no reason

Op surely everyone thinks that’s rude, op?

Well the people that are late clearly don't!
inquietant · 17/12/2020 08:08

@Housewife2010

I have a friend who doesn't drive and often asks for lifts home. She doesn't seem to realise that we don't live close. She has been cross with me on a couple of occasions when we've both had our children with us and there wasn't room in my car. She also asked for a lift after a night out that made my journey home half an hour longer. I told her it was the opposite direction but she insisted. Now I often tell her I'm not going straight home just to get out of lifts. I don't mind helping out friends who live close but think it's rude to be considered a free taxi service. Fortunately Covid means she hasn't asked me for the last few months!
This is very rude. I'm car free and NEVER ask on principle!
thepeopleversuswork · 17/12/2020 08:11

People I meet in a professional context who take it upon themselves to shorten my name to my nickname in emails. It's SO presumptuous I find it astonishing.

I have the sort of the name of which the nickname is obvious as soon as you know it IYSWIM. But for Pete's sake wait until you've had at least a couple of emails before presuming to do this.

Its SO RUDE!

leafcar · 17/12/2020 08:15

When people invite themselves over to your house - a time and date etc without even checking it's ok!

When people book things like holidays/meals/days out etc whilst just expecting you'll be able to afford it.

upsidedownwavylegs · 17/12/2020 08:18

We once had a contractor really mess up an important bit of work for us and in all the emails about it she kept addressing my then boss by the very familiar-sounding shortened version of her name. My boss sent her a bollocking email about the work and finished it with “as per the signature on my previous emails, I go by (full name) not (nickname).” Usually I’d have thought it was too harsh but she was totally justified.

Squirrelblanket · 17/12/2020 08:19

I find it rude when I'm in a group and an extrovert dominates the whole conversation and just will not shut up. AND THEN expects me to be extremely grateful that they have done all the conversational 'heavy lifting' and assumes that it's left me feeling 'energised and buoyed'!

Grin
thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 17/12/2020 08:19

People who try to force me to dance at parties/weddings etc and who won’t take no for an answer. I absolutely hate dancing and don’t care if it makes me seem boring.

Also people who try to force you to drink alcohol when you don’t want to.

Silvernutmeg70 · 17/12/2020 08:21

[quote PandemicPalava]@CutToChase so many of you feel like this!

Just to present the introvert perspective, well mine at least, I don't always speak because I am crap in groups and can't work out when to interject, how to join in. The social awkwardness means I miss the gap in conversation and start to panic inside. I start to feel like I can't enjoy the conversation properly as I am concentrating so hard to listen while panicking and also trying to figure out how to join in. This usually ends in me frozen and wishing I wasn't there. I also feel more comfortable with people who don't talk so much so the gaps are bigger for me to attempt to speak in. Introverts a lot of the time don't know how to do small talk but I bet, get into a meaty honest conversation and you won't shut us up [/quote]
I agree. I'm autistic and find trying to make conversation in large groups very difficult, particularly if one or more people are very loud and confident - it's impossible to get a word in. My brain takes longer than most people's to process information. By the time there's a gap to say what I want to say, I've either forgotten what it was or the conversation has moved on so far it's now irrelevant. However in smaller groups or one to one I can be very chatty.

AlwaysLatte · 17/12/2020 08:23

The seasoning thing drives me mad. I don't put the salt on the table if I've already put salt in the food during cooking.

MaxNormal · 17/12/2020 08:25

I'm an introvert with ASD and I agree that its really rude when people don't make tye effort and give you one-word answers. I make the effort even though I suck at small talk and really struggle particularly if I'm tired.
I hate all this oh we're so special and sensitive not like those nasty loud extroverts bullshit.
The absolute GRATITUDE I feel if I wind up next to a socially confident, chatty person cannot be overstated.

inquietant · 17/12/2020 08:25

When people invite themselves over to your house - a time and date etc without even checking it's ok! My MANAGER did this this week Shock Angry

inquietant · 17/12/2020 08:27

@AlwaysLatte

The seasoning thing drives me mad. I don't put the salt on the table if I've already put salt in the food during cooking.
What if people like more salt than you? Confused This is just a bit controlling I think. I'd bring my own to your house just to annoy you Grin
MsTSwift · 17/12/2020 08:41

I would love it if a lively extrovert “took over” in one of these duty events! Takes the pressure off me.

I was born with an over developed conscience and if an event is dying and everyone sitting there awkwardly I feel duty bound to attempt to carry it. Don’t enjoy doing so but sitting at a social event in awkward silence is worse...

Funkyfriends · 17/12/2020 08:41

Whenever I have a conversation with DM, I will be halfway through a sentence and she will jump in with what she thinks I’m going to say next, and then keep guessing like I’ve started a bloody guessing game until I have to talk over to finish what I’m saying. I just want to tell her to shut up and let me finish.

And breathe.

bubblesforlife · 17/12/2020 08:41
  • people that you invite over to your home and done leave for hours, even if you have work very early in the morning. Take a hint, we’ve stopped pouring wine. Why don’t people know when to go home?
  • through no fault of their own, but staff in Kate Spade who literally will not leave you alone and won’t take the “just browsing” for what it is I have wanted to buy there but the staff are so over bearing (company policy I’m sure) that I’ve actually left. I’ve stopped going in to that store because it gives me anxiety.
  • people never texting back
  • blatantly breaking lockdown rules
  • people that take for ever to tell a really boring story that could be summarised in 2 sentences.
  • I have an indoor cat, I’ve been told by one “friend” that it’s cruel on multiple occasions
Bumbastic · 17/12/2020 08:47

People that are happy to drop their children off at yours for playdates but they never invite them back.

People that pop in because they were nearby.

People that ask you about their appearance.

People that serve smaller portions because you are a woman or too fat or too thin in their view.

People that are thinner than you or the same size calling themselves fat and moaning about their size which happens to be as i said like yours or smaller.

Aerial2020 · 17/12/2020 08:48

@MaxNormal

I'm an introvert with ASD and I agree that its really rude when people don't make tye effort and give you one-word answers. I make the effort even though I suck at small talk and really struggle particularly if I'm tired. I hate all this oh we're so special and sensitive not like those nasty loud extroverts bullshit. The absolute GRATITUDE I feel if I wind up next to a socially confident, chatty person cannot be overstated.
Yes but everyone with autism is different.