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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My neighbour keeps moaning at everything.

146 replies

Wantsadvice1978909 · 16/12/2020 07:32

My neighbour is just non stop moaning. I’ve just heard him banging on the wall and shouting (I think maybe swearing?) because my children are up playing. They’re 3 and 4. Most children are up earlier than this and I feel like we can make any noise in our own home. He moans if they’re playing at 4pm, he’s threw eggs into our garden (after we were outside talking about 4yo egg allergy) and has thrown biscuits over whilst out with our DCs in the garden.etc. He even went as far as going to our landlord and saying we have the police out every weekend (we’ve never had them out!). Landlord told us he did exactly the same with previous tenant and that’s why she left🙄 what can I do? We private rent and he owns his house.

OP posts:
LilyLongJohn · 16/12/2020 12:39

Can you have a conversation within earshot about the fact your children are allergic to £20 notes Grin

Snoringoutloud · 16/12/2020 12:51

For those saying they'd be annoyed at noise from children at 7.30am, how on earth do you keep them quiet??
My nearly 2 year old gets up around 7 some days and makes general noise, nothing i would consider excessive but she plays her toys and may have had the odd meltdown before 8am about getting dressed/breakfast etc etc. If i tried to keep her quiet that would result in the opposite.

My neighbour is an absolute w*er and plays music at inappropriate times (usually 11pm-2am) every weekend and some weekdays, he hosts bbq's all summer long that go on until early hours of the morning ending with drunk people shouting around the garden so frankly i dont care if my child did wake him at 7am but i literally would have no way of keeping her quiet!

IntermittentParps · 16/12/2020 15:28

Builders are not permitted to make noise before 8.00 a.m. We're not talking about cement mixers or scaffolding, though, are we?

Snowball2020 · 16/12/2020 15:41

He probably has an issue with the landlord, so he makes sure any tenant that moves in is treated awfully, and will eventually leave (making it harder for landlord to let property out/have long term tenants).

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 16/12/2020 15:55

Has he got dgc? Once when we lived quite rural our ndn had it in for us. Reports to the council about noise/mess /smell (farmer's dead sheep nothing to do with us). Had numerous visits from various authorities... Eventually I went round. .. She admitted she had made the lot up to get us evicted. She had had 7 mc and could not handle we had dc.... We were evicted anyway as she was on the board that issued tenancies for our house.. I hope she lost sleep over what she did to us but I doubt it.

thosetalesofunexpected · 16/12/2020 15:56

Hi Op
I ment to say its totally normal for your children to be talking/playjng at that time in morning.

Its totally unreasonable for your neighbour to expect your children to be as quiet as mice and yourself to be that quiet.

There is something seriously wrong with him your neighbour.

I suspect he just does not like families with children at all.
And is just Anti social individual,
Unfornately for you and family.

TurquoiseDragon · 16/12/2020 16:06

7:30 is not too early for normal household noises. And unless the DC are screaming, shouting or making loud noises, then their noises will come under the "normal household noise".

And in most cases Environmental Health at the council won't give a stuff about normal noise between 7am and 11pm.

Brefugee · 16/12/2020 16:09

Hearing children play at 7.30 would annoy me, sorry!

I understand that, but this is a family home in a very lively area.

Nevertheless it is still very early.

IntermittentParps · 16/12/2020 16:31

Nevertheless it is still very early.
It really isn't Hmm Lots of people get up much earlier.

lillylemons · 16/12/2020 16:37

I don't mind hearing kids in the mornings it's the adults that drive me mad my neighbour goes to work at 6am and he slams his front door and then slams the block door we no longer need an alarm clock because he wakes us all up at 6 along with the rest of the block. I miss my old neighbours.

mumwon · 16/12/2020 16:37

Hmm getting older dc ready for school can start at 7 am or earlier - imagine shushing them from the normal getting up having a shower or whatever or just getting the little horrors up & have you got x or y mum etc
from the sounds (pun!) of this he is a right so & so & eventually your landlord will get somebody in that will make his life - ah - difficult
he will deserve it

LST · 16/12/2020 16:38

I would laugh in anyones face if they came round and said that 7.30 was too early for normal family noise.

mrsm43s · 16/12/2020 16:39

He sounds unhinged tbh.

That said, children making noise so loud that it can be heard next door at 7.30 in the morning is antisocial and unacceptable. Even with "paper thin walls" they'll have to be doing a lot more that playing quietly to be disturbing next door. We have children of similar ages next door to us, and not thick walls, and we hear the odd major tantrum, or crying when someone gets hurt, but we can't hear them playing nicely. You should really be aiming to ensure that your children are never so noisy that they can be heard next door, and certainly not at 7.30am.

TibetanTerrier · 16/12/2020 16:42

@IntermittentParps

7.30 is a perfectly civilised time of day.
Not if you're retired, it's an extremely uncivilised time if you no longer have to get up for work/school.
IntermittentParps · 16/12/2020 16:47

Not if you're retired, it's an extremely uncivilised time if you no longer have to get up for work/school.
It's not up to a neighbour to enable someone else's lie-in though.

unmarkedbythat · 16/12/2020 16:51

it's an extremely uncivilised time if you no longer have to get up for work/school

I am going to reserve my sympathy here for those of us who DO have to get up for work or school and cannot go back to bed for a nap when early afternoon exhaustion sets in.

SquirtleSquad · 16/12/2020 17:07

Eh? Plenty of retired people get up before 7.30am.

nosswith · 16/12/2020 17:11

Find out if he watches something such as Corrie or Eastenders and make loud noises at the time they are on.

copperoliver · 16/12/2020 17:18

Bang back, also knock and tell him if he keeps harassing you throwing eggs ect, you will call the police and ask them to section him under the mental health act. Hopefully that will frighten him. X

LilyLongJohn · 16/12/2020 17:23

Not if you're retired, it's an extremely uncivilised time if you no longer have to get up for work/school

Buy a detached house, live in a rural location or move to a retirement community if you want that. If you live in a semi or terraced house next to people then you have to learn to live with peoples lives and their noises. There's a big difference between everyday life noise, which is what it sounds like the op is describing and practicing the drum or playing loud music, which she's not.

SpnBaby1967 · 16/12/2020 17:24

Contact your local neighbourhood policing team, contact your local councils antisocial behaviour unit and make sure you log EVERYTHING!

Dates, times, what he did and the effect it had on you and your family. If you're able make sure to take recordings of banging & pictures of anything he throws over the fence.

The key here is gather evidence, involve agencies and let them deal with it

TibetanTerrier · 16/12/2020 17:36

@IntermittentParps

Not if you're retired, it's an extremely uncivilised time if you no longer have to get up for work/school. It's not up to a neighbour to enable someone else's lie-in though.
It's up to all of us to be considerate of our neighbours' circumstances though. I don't allow my dogs to disturb my neighbours with barking and my neighbours, thankfully, don't allow their kids to disturb me. It's all part of living in a civilised society.
IntermittentParps · 16/12/2020 17:41

TibetanTerrier, as someone else has said, kids playing is just part of normal life noise. There are always earplugs if you need a lie-in.

GoldieHelen · 16/12/2020 18:02

It's up to all of us to be considerate of our neighbours' circumstances though. I don't allow my dogs to disturb my neighbours with barking and my neighbours, thankfully, don't allow their kids to disturb me. It's all part of living in a civilised society.

This.

This thread appears to be divided between considerate and selfish people

TibetanTerrier · 16/12/2020 18:03

@LilyLongJohn

Not if you're retired, it's an extremely uncivilised time if you no longer have to get up for work/school

Buy a detached house, live in a rural location or move to a retirement community if you want that. If you live in a semi or terraced house next to people then you have to learn to live with peoples lives and their noises. There's a big difference between everyday life noise, which is what it sounds like the op is describing and practicing the drum or playing loud music, which she's not.

I live in a terraced house with my immediate neighbours being families with kids. Other neighbours are young couples and retirees. None of them has ever disturbed me with any kind of noise - we're a very happy little community and we're all keen to keep it that way so we all try to be as considerate as possible and to respect each others' peace and quiet.
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