To not want his stupid Christmas dinner

[Whattimeisdinner]

My BIL cooks Christmas dinner every year without fail. Sounds great but he cooks Christmas dinner and summer BBQs & NEVER cooks at any other time for his family.

He is very upset that we won’t be joining them on Christmas Day this year but AIBU to feel relieved?

I really won’t miss him strutting around in his Santa apron swigging mulled wine this year.
I also won’t have to endure him carving the turkey at the head of the table like he’s some sort of God.
Does anyone else have a DH who does this or is is just my poor sister?

How mean spirited/ unreasonable am I on a scale of 1-10?
(10 being Very unreasonable/mean spirited.)

Oh god this could be my DM's husband. I'm equally as relieved to not be going there this year so YANBU

@YoniAndGuy

Get a personalised Christmas apron for BIL with 'Christmas Glory Cook' on it for his present :)

Do this!

Urgh this is giving me flashbacks to the pta Christmas decorations annual sexist twattery. The basically all female team at Christmas organised a massive fair, Father Christmas grotto and presents, raffle, children’s discos, nativity help, basically everything small child and school related at Christmas etc etc.

A team of dads would traditionally go in one evening to put up some Christmas decorations. Would take an hour tops. Cue fawning name check for each manly assistant in the heads piece in the newsletter 🙄. No mention for the legions of drudgey women.

How did you manage to bite your tongue and not complain to the Head, @MsTSwift?

@ProfessionalWeirdo 😂 just laughed out loud at that; it was great.

@OrigamiPenguinArmy

You’re not being at all unreasonable. Men who glory cook (brilliant phrase) but leave all the donkey work of the day to day dinners to their wives are arses. They lap up all the praise when guests come round but never meal plan or cook spag Bol dog tired still in their work clothes.

Oh god, this this this. Cooking spag bol in work clothes, sick with fatigue and weeping.

Yes It was quite pathetic so I've banned it.

I’m on your side OP.

You nailed @ProfessionalWeirdo

Love the term ‘glory cook’. Definitely 1 for the lording it at the head of the table!

I always cook Christmas Dinner (but I also cook all meals). I don't have a Santa apron.😆I hope I am not like this 🙄😅

I cook Christmas Dinner and wear a Christmas apron, and although this year I'm pregnant, I would usually be drinking whilst cooking. I do also carve the turkey at the table ceremoniously, as has become tradition in our house! One year DD suddenly needed a breastfeed when it was time to carve so DH did it instead.

However I cook about 80% of our meals so I think that saves me from being a glory cook. Also we don't usually have anyone over for dinner, just me DH and the kids. So I'd look a bit of a prick trying to show off to them

My dh never cooks anymore, he's a brilliant cook! I would be thrilled if he cooked just once a year and made it Christmas Dinner! He could strut as much as he wanted

Bet he doesn't do the shopping, the prep such as sorting the dining room eg laying the table and most certainly doesn't wash up or clean the kitchen after his showcase dinner! Just like the a lot of males eg my DP, who cooks the BBQ and glows in the praise whilst I have to organise the food, plates, cutlery, condiments, side dishes etc etc etc and act as his kitchen helper. Definitely no tiding up as he's exhausted from all the cooking ie turning burgers and sausages. Meanwhile I've spent hours running around sorting things and cleaning up after him plus doing everything that he believes are sorted by the fairies! Woebetude if I have the timedirirty to have forgotten something.

I think we share the same relative. It seems like many of us do.

@Plunger timedirirty Temerity?

Glory cook. Love it.

Also going to throw in men who say they cook because they occasionally make one of three or four things - their "signature dishes." Which take all afternoon and every pot and pan and require applause. Unlike the churning out of dinners (and lunches and breakfasts for little ones) every bleeding day.

On the other hand, my DH retired last year just as I went back to work after 20 years as a SAHM. After a direct request from me he did start taking on a lot more of the day to day cooking, and I would say it's now about 50/50 between us on dinners (it was 95% me when he was working and I wasn't, but he worked longer hours than I do.) So maybe behaviour can be changed with a pointed nudge or two.

This thread is mumsnet at its best. I feel much less alone. The struggle is real!

Perhaps a pair of aprons, his with 'glory cook' written on and hers with 'REAL COOK' or is that too sarky? If he stomps off in a childish paddy, you're really in trouble. He may never speak to you again and his wife may have to take over in the kitchen. Perhaps not then.

gingham
That is a Brilliant idea! 😂

@ProfessionalWeirdo That’s exactly perfectly described. It’s always the woman’s fault whatever and we should be grateful for their albeit minimal efforts once a year. It makes my blood boil. My dad was like this.

@FrenchBoule

1 OP :)

Enjoy your Christmas

BTW,anybody else read “glory cock” or is that my reading not being too sharp? (Just finished nightshift)

Nope, did exactly that and without a night shift :D