To not want his stupid Christmas dinner

[Whattimeisdinner]

My BIL cooks Christmas dinner every year without fail. Sounds great but he cooks Christmas dinner and summer BBQs & NEVER cooks at any other time for his family.

He is very upset that we won’t be joining them on Christmas Day this year but AIBU to feel relieved?

I really won’t miss him strutting around in his Santa apron swigging mulled wine this year.
I also won’t have to endure him carving the turkey at the head of the table like he’s some sort of God.
Does anyone else have a DH who does this or is is just my poor sister?

How mean spirited/ unreasonable am I on a scale of 1-10?
(10 being Very unreasonable/mean spirited.)

I'm going to put you at a 3. He does sound like an insufferable git (in this situation), add in booze and festivities, and it's one of those feeling-murderous-but-cant-go-to-prison-before-Xmas-Eastenders-has-finished typical Christmassy feelings. On the flipside, you are getting a Christmas lunch cooked for you. Despite 'manly man carving turkey' wankery, I'm still quite jealous of anyone who gets a chance to not be the host. Plus, it's great stories for the rest of the year.

I'm loving the go to MN response though. Obviously there's nothing but deep, ugly hated for your brother in law that probably has nothing to do with his stupid bloody santa outfit. Sure you're not secretly in love with him, @Whattimeisdinner

Christmas dinner is bad but bbqs is unforgivable. One of the good things about lockdown has been not being asked to bbqs.

I am afraid I cannot see the issue based on what you have said, so I score a 10.

So what if he doesn’t cook the rest of the year, that is presumably their arrangement that they are happy with.

Just be glad you'll miss the heroic display this year

Ah bless him! Anne Tyler is very funny about family dinners and the men with their self important carving.( Spool of blue thread)

Indeed FIL cannot cook toast but is always summoned by MIL to do the carving .

The spirit of Christmas is alive and well.

10. Bah humbug!

TBH, if someone else cooked Christmas dinner for me I wouldn't give a stuff how they paraded about! I hate cooking. After 50 years of cooking Christmas dinner I'd love someone else to do it. I think I might have had one year off, I had a month old baby and I think my mum did it. The year I was 39 weeks pregnant I did it and I think all the other years.

I'd quite like to have beans on toast this year but not sure if I can bring myself to do it.

@ancientgran

The spirit of Christmas is alive and well.

What is the spirit Christmas if not for just getting irrationally (or not) irritated by family? It is supremely British to find forced jollity to be the bane of one's life. The only way to cope is drinking, sarcasm and top trump stories for the rest of the year about who has the more annoying family.

Doesn't mean we don't love each other of course. Usually.

Is your sisters eye rolling the extent of how she conveys being pissed of?
Presumably you’re close to her if spend Christmas Day with her.
And she’s never actually said anything to you?
And you’ve never raised with her?

Weird.

In that case I’d have no problem with it.

'Glory cook'.

I need to use that phrase in real life. Its BRILLIANT.

Glory cook! Brilliant!

My aunt has always said that my uncle (her husband) is a glory cook - always wants to cook for guests but she did the day to day cooking when kids were little.

It was more that she’s better at talking to guests though, apparently!

Exh was a glory cook too!

I had a relative who presented himself in the character of "Gourmet" amongst philistines. It was his job to preside over the event he was attending and the we were lucky enough that he was there to educate us all about the correct way to appreciate, cook and critique each and every dish. Total charmer.

I'm with you that would piss me right off.

My bil does Christmas dinner/roasts etc I think he cooks more than my sister. He’s an amazing cook though but there’s not enough room for me my 4 kids and folks along with their gang so think I’ve only been once for dinner at Christmas. Shame as it’s lovely.
I do roasts most weeks I get fed up with them as it’s a faff.
enjoy your bil free Christmas op

I reckon we're all going to miss the things we hate/cringe about Christmas.

My DH always cooks xmas dinner, coincidentally he starts the minute my Mum walks in the house. Coincidentally he starts drinking the moment she starts talking at him, which she continues to do if he goes to the loo from the other side of the door. She's not an easy character, but DH has said all year we won't see anyone else, but he wouldn't see her on her own (in reality this will happen as I feel it's a big risk with me working at a school).

10

Who does the cooking while you are not there is none of your business.

Men don't become glory cooks all by themselves, unless she is in an abuse relationship which is a complete different thread, your sister can eyeroll all she wants but she is the one who is actively allowing this to happen, I would be quite happy if my dh cooked all my daily meals too! dh knows if he doesn't take his turn here he will go hungry!

My XH was a Glory Cook when it came to BBQs. He never so much as made me a sandwich all year round but come the summer - ALL HAIL KING OF THE BBQ!!!

My brother does this except he doesn't even do the whole meal - just cooks the turkey and then brags on about how he has made the Christmas meal.

Doesn't anyone ever laugh/tell him that he's being a right glory cock?

Enjoy Xmas without him! I think you are a bit unreasonable to accept hospitality in the past as you clearly don't like him - so why go? Just do your own thing and enjoy it.

I couldn't be annoyed about it. I'd let him have his glory day a few days a year. As long as I get fed I'm not too fussed