Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's the weirdest reason you have decided to not go on a second date with someone?

522 replies

SnowDogFarts · 14/12/2020 19:58

Just imagine you are on a first date with someone and it's going good until...that moment they say or do something that instantly switches your brain to "nope."

I had a first date with someone after chatting to them for a few weeks. It was going well and we were walking through one of my favourite country parks (beautiful) with a takeaway coffee when he decided to dump the empty cup on the floor, when there were bins dotted around everywhere. And that was the moment right there that couldn't be undone. I guess I don't like litterbugs 🤷‍♀️

So, tell me, what was their crime? Big, small, weird, wonderful or other.

OP posts:
nevernotstruggling · 18/12/2020 09:57

@WeCanBeHeroesJust I dated someone like this. He's great in a lot of ways but the not being able to finish the job was really off putting after a while. It was I suspect a deep rooted issue.

I briefly dated a recovering alcoholic. That in itself wasn't a huge drama as I don't drink at all myself. But we went to the cinema and he got up to go to the loo or use his cape or something about 8 times during the film. If was infuriating.

nevernotstruggling · 18/12/2020 10:00

I remembered another one. I dated briefly a guy who installed screens and sound equipment for conferences etc - it didn't last long he was a bit strange. There were no mirrors in his house he said he couldn't cope with them. I moved abroad but he contacted me once to proudly tell me he was now running a strip club in Prague!!!!! I still can't fathom why he had to make such an effort to tell me that. I was horrified!!

Taystee29 · 18/12/2020 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FetchezLaVache · 18/12/2020 10:02

@nevernotstruggling use his cape?? I so hope that's not a typo!

GreenlandTheMovie · 18/12/2020 10:05

@DillonPanthersTexas

Watching how people treat waiters or barstaff is always a good measure of character and I have not taken things any further when I have seen dates talk down to or are just rude to people working in those professions.

Decided to stop dating a women who could not ride a bike. She suggested hiring some bikes down the park for a second date which I thought was a great idea and it soon became apparent she could not ride. I don't mean being a bit wobbly, literally she could not travel 5m without nearly falling off. I don't know why but watching her veering off the path, crashing into bushes and scattering other park users while screaming was just a massive turn off.

I also had a first date going cycling - I'm a keen cyclist and so was the chap (online dating). We met in the pre-arranged spot, he didn't say much and off we went. We covered about 2 miles, not much chat with him in the lead, came to a very long steep hill and he disappeared into the distance, never to be seen again. Didn't wait for me or look back. I quite enjoyed the rest of the ride at my own speed. He never got in touch again.

I didn't really like him much in the flesh but I felt quite upset at his rudeness. A couple of months later, he started turning up everywhere I was, looking at me coyly but not speaking. Eventually, a mutual male friend informed me that he was "interested" in me. I just ignored him and eventually he went away.

Labobo · 18/12/2020 10:09

One was a young 'friend' of my mum she insisted I meet for a date because he'd liked me for ages. He kept saying that we had the same amazing taste in music and asked me round for coffee. Because my mum knew him, I went. The flat was filthy. And then... he lifted up the floorboards. Underneath were rows and rows of home-recorded cassette tapes with the song titles scrawled in tiny biro. I couldn't get out fast enough. I wondered what else was under the floorboards.

Labobo · 18/12/2020 10:15

He had only two teeth (not next to each other).

@PuddyMuddles4 - I almost stopped breathing I laughed so hard.

nevernotstruggling · 18/12/2020 10:33

@FetchezLaVache vape....sorry!

DillonPanthersTexas · 18/12/2020 10:46

This is so funny, why on earth did she suggest a bike ride?!?

No idea, shame really as the first date went well but she just morphed into this uber ditzy screaming lass completely unrecognisable from my first encounter.

Talking of people turning up as completely different characters on dates I once asked a Japanese lady who worked for the same company as me on a date. She was smart, funny, attractive and generally switched on so imagine my dismay when what can only be described as a school girl decked out in 'Hello Kitty' gear rocked up to the restaurant. The late 20 something women had become a 14 year old with knee length white socks, short tarten skirt and teh afore mentioned hello kitty gear. Not only did she look 14 but she seemed to have mentally regressed as well. It was really weird. I was advised later that it was a bit of cultural thing in the Japanese dating world where acting like a school girl was seen as desirable. Yuk.

thenightsky · 18/12/2020 11:25

Talking of people turning up as completely different characters on dates I once asked a Japanese lady who worked for the same company as me on a date. She was smart, funny, attractive and generally switched on so imagine my dismay when what can only be described as a school girl decked out in 'Hello Kitty' gear rocked up to the restaurant. The late 20 something women had become a 14 year old with knee length white socks, short tarten skirt and teh afore mentioned hello kitty gear. Not only did she look 14 but she seemed to have mentally regressed as well. It was really weird. I was advised later that it was a bit of cultural thing in the Japanese dating world where acting like a school girl was seen as desirable. Yuk

I think Stacy Dooley did a documentary about the Japanese 'schoolgirl' culture. It might be on iplayer or netflix. I watched it over the summer. Extremely weird stuff.

FluffyRabbitGal · 18/12/2020 11:55

Went on a date with a guy I met on a training day the charity we both volunteered at (we volunteered different days so had not met previously).
Met at a bar of his choosing, which was playing really loud dance music so I couldn’t hear a word he said, so I suggested going somewhere else so I could hear him, which he begrudgingly agreed to.
Turns out the wrong decision, as he was a misogynist pig and spoke to me like I was stupid, so I made my excuses and left. He messaged me the next day, saying he had a great time, and asked if I would like to go to look around HMV with him and his friends! Was really tricky avoiding him at future training dates!

mindutopia · 18/12/2020 12:09

I'm not sure it's a weird reason (actually was probably a pretty good decision for my 20 something year old self!), but I had a weird first date with a guy who was a vegan (I was at the time a vegetarian and that's how we got to talking). One of the first things he told me when we first met and heading for the restaurant we were going to was that he primarily ate rice - all kinds of rice, white, brown, wild, you name it. Okay, great. He then proceeded to order the fried rice (only thing he ordered) at the vegetarian restaurant we went to, which had a whole menu full of lovely tasty vegan things. Okay, odd, but he loves rice apparently. But the clincher was that he managed to 'forget his bank card'. So I drove like an hour to meet him for the date and paid for dinner for both of us.

I'm guessing he just fancied the posh rice for dinner that night and that's where I came in. Hmm

WeCanBeHeroesJust · 18/12/2020 12:26

@nevernotstruggling, you'll have to explain what you mean about using his cape :)

Also, in your post you talk about not "finishing the job", for you or for him? To clarify, in my case it was never finishing the job for HIM, not ME.

I fully understand it doesn't happen all time (for me a quickie, for DH too much to drink). But that's very different from NEVER. I couldn't be in a relationship with a person that NEVER, it would be just too strange for me.

nevernotstruggling · 18/12/2020 13:51

@WeCanBeHeroesJust I meant vape sorry!!

Re the never finishing I meant her never finished - like not once ever!!! I mean...it was less messy....

cheesecrackersandcorona · 18/12/2020 21:24

I was seeing a chap who had terrible allergies. I woke up next to a bed full of dry skin. Horrible. It wasn't the second date but it was pretty much the last. Actually the nail in the coffin was that he told a joke that he passed off as his own, and I knew it was from Newman and Baddiel's famous Wembley show. It involved physical comedy so he really committed to it.

A skin shedding plagerist. Nope.

CardoMondo · 18/12/2020 22:12

@Taystee29

I went on a date with somebody and he would be in fits of laughter at others' misfortune. I don't know if it was nervous laughter but it seemed more than that. I told him that I taught English to unemployed people to help improve their prospects and he was in stitches over it, very strange.
I don’t know why but that had ME in stitches 😂
Justyouwaitandseeagain · 18/12/2020 22:28

He ‘surprised’ me with his favourite latex horror mask in the back of a taxi...and then asked if it would be ok to buy us a pair of matching deckchairs Hmm

Seventytwo · 19/12/2020 18:05

In the middle of dinner at a nice restaurant, date suddenly went all quiet and serious and told me, quite emotionally, that he wanted to show me a particular tattoo which meant a lot to him. He then rolled up his sleeve to reveal a scantily-clad, female grim reaper-type figure, holding a banner that said "DEATH".

I spent the next 15 minutes in the toilets calling my friends and CRYING with laughter. There was no second date.

Greenandcabbagelooking · 19/12/2020 18:21

He was so poorly spoken. Very second word was like, err y'know, like a like literally nonsense word, k'now what I'm saying.

Every conversation took about ten times longer than it needed to.

HeyBlaby · 19/12/2020 18:28

About age 19, went for drinks, asked for ID, he had no photo ID but did have his prison discharge papers with his DOB for firearms offences, noped out on that one!

Skysblue · 19/12/2020 23:25

Bad kisser.

Purplealienpuke · 20/12/2020 07:55

Something seemed off so I asked if he'd ever been arrested. He admitted he had.
An online date he went on, he took her to a nightclub, she collapsed, had been spiked with rohypnol.... but 'they couldn't prove it was me' is what he said 😱
He definitely wasn't denying it.
I left very quickly, without leaving my drink unattended!!! Fucking weirdo

Lovemusic33 · 20/12/2020 09:41

@Justyouwaitandseeagain

He ‘surprised’ me with his favourite latex horror mask in the back of a taxi...and then asked if it would be ok to buy us a pair of matching deckchairs Hmm
🤣🤣 I had one guy who showed me a photo of his butt plug collection and asked me which one I would like to try first? They really know how to flatter a lady.
OohImBlindedByTheLights · 20/12/2020 09:57

@Justyouwaitandseeagain

He ‘surprised’ me with his favourite latex horror mask in the back of a taxi...and then asked if it would be ok to buy us a pair of matching deckchairs Hmm
@Justyouwaitandseeagain I bet that blew the wind right outta you? 🤣🤣
OohImBlindedByTheLights · 20/12/2020 09:58

@Justyouwaitandseeagain oops sorry, wrong quote tagged 🤦🏻‍♀️