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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's the weirdest reason you have decided to not go on a second date with someone?

522 replies

SnowDogFarts · 14/12/2020 19:58

Just imagine you are on a first date with someone and it's going good until...that moment they say or do something that instantly switches your brain to "nope."

I had a first date with someone after chatting to them for a few weeks. It was going well and we were walking through one of my favourite country parks (beautiful) with a takeaway coffee when he decided to dump the empty cup on the floor, when there were bins dotted around everywhere. And that was the moment right there that couldn't be undone. I guess I don't like litterbugs 🤷‍♀️

So, tell me, what was their crime? Big, small, weird, wonderful or other.

OP posts:
Serin · 16/12/2020 21:45

Shipping. Not shopping

WeatherwaxOn · 16/12/2020 22:10

@CrustyChrimbo

I met up on a proper date with a guy from a speed-dating night out. He was lovely but he had a very exaggerated blink where his whole face scrunched up every couple minutes. It was driving me nuts by the time we paid the bill and put paid to a second date.

Incidentally, it was the same speed-dating night out where I met DH.

Was it 'the wrong Tony' with the tortoise blink from Friday Night Dinner? Grin
Justvisitingthisplanet · 16/12/2020 22:29

He agreed with everything I said and didn't seem to have his own opinion on anything. Then he tried to write poetry for me...

Pinkerbells · 16/12/2020 22:29

My worst first date was with this Irish guy. He was a little short but I could listen to his accent all night. It was all looking pretty good, ... and then he kisses me. I have never been licked like it. Seriously it was like the wettest grossist ugh. Yep I made my excuses and declined round 2 Blush

Nosleepingclub · 16/12/2020 22:38

I was in my mid twenties and I went out with a guy I had met online. He was ok enough but on the 2nd date he kept begging to hold my hand. I’m not much of a touchy-feely person anyway and I didn’t know this bloke really and I didn’t understand why he wanted to hold my hand so much.

I politely declined the first couple of times and just said I wasn’t really ready for that and then it became INSISTENT! Like pleading, nearly crying to have a child tantrum because I wouldn’t! It got to the point where a lady walking in front of my turned around and asked if I was ok!

Don’t know why there was a 2nd date to be honest, on the first date he made me wait around for nearly 2 hours to catch his train home! I ended up sprinting to my train station in the pissing rain as I nearly missed the last train home.

I ended up ghosting him but he put up a fight and messaged me continuously on every app, Facebook, Twitter EVEN LINKEDIN! And he then had the audacity to tell me how I was missing out on a ‘nice guy’.

More like I was escaping a nutter!

MissConductUS · 16/12/2020 22:46

I see from several of these posts that others have had run-ins with men suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome.

www.bustle.com/articles/147499-what-is-nice-guy-syndrome-5-signs-that-a-self-proclaimed-nice-guy-isnt-all-that-nice

It's quite common among the involuntarily celibate crowd.

TheSilveryPussycat · 16/12/2020 22:48

@Brockaslass

Went on second date intending to dump him, bee married now for 9years
I have to ask - what was wrong on the first date?
Celestine70 · 16/12/2020 22:57

Racist or narrow minded statements.

Courgetteandbeans · 16/12/2020 22:58
  1. First date, with a triathlete, he told me he only ever ate burgers and had never tasted garlic. There was no second date.
  1. Met in a club, agreed to meet for a date later in the week, he spent the whole time talking about his delinquent teenage daughter and how they were being made homeless in a few weeks. I think he already has his and her bags packed to move into mine, I made my excuses and got the hell out of there.
  1. He has really really bad breath. Yuk!
changedmynameforChristmas · 16/12/2020 23:05

For the entire time I was at high school I hero worshipped a boy in my class. He seemed different to all the other boys - he connected with girls in such a way that they all seemed to gravitate to him, even the older ones were smitten by him.
He seemed so much more mature than the boys his own age. Teachers liked him and I adored him.
I think I amused him. He knew I was in love with him and when I was 15 he kissed me. I nearly died.
Nothing ever happened between us. Only a few kisses nothing more.
He left school before me and went on to another to do 'A' levels.
I did not see him again.
About two years later, out of the blue, he rang me at home and asked to meet up.
We met in a park and he was wearing a fur coat turned inside out.
Just no............

PurpleFlower1983 · 16/12/2020 23:06

He sang in the theatre...during a play.

Barney60 · 16/12/2020 23:08

Proceeded to tell me all about his illnesses, lost job and driving licence taken off him because of it, and why he has to be in bed every night before 10pm. i gave (wrongly i know) the incorrect telephone number and left.

daisyjgrey · 16/12/2020 23:17

Called his phone "a smart phone".

Iamthewombat · 16/12/2020 23:27

Another we went to a club after having a few drinks, he bought us drinks and asked me to hold his drink, I assumed it was so he could take off his coat, he then handed me his coat and went and danced on some podium type stage.

This is too funny.

draughtycatflap · 16/12/2020 23:48

He was supermodel gorgeous and we met in the pub. It was a sultry summer night in the 1980s. Afterwards we drove to the late night garage to buy more ciggies in my convertible sports car. I was looking forward to a night of passion and turned on the radio. Mr gorgeous began to sing along to ‘Don’t You Want Me Baby’. When he continued into the girl part about being a waitress in a cocktail bar it killed my desire stone dead. He went into the garage and I drove off.

Actually no, I still fucked him because he was gorgeous after all. But definitely no second date. 😀

Mamanyt · 17/12/2020 00:39

Went on a date many years ago with a perfectly nice, very handsome man. About an hour in, I thought to myself, "If he says 'I was like' instead of 'I said," or "ya know' one more time, I'm going to do him a serious damage." HE WAS THIRTY YEARS OLD, and talked like a teenager. Last date.

MissConductUS · 17/12/2020 01:25

@daisyjgrey

Called his phone "a smart phone".
Was he a Yank? That term is commonly used in the US to refer to either an Android or Apple mobile.
TinselTinsel · 17/12/2020 01:34

@Mummysgonetobed

Guy 1 - he had really awful, cheap tan brogues on. Put me straight off.

Guy 2 - told me after our date he was going home to do laundry. Said it was his Sunday afternoon routine. Couldn’t cope with that!

I want guy 2! I'd love a guy to so my laundry on a Sunday !
TinselTinsel · 17/12/2020 02:50

@Lockdownfever

Second date- was in the middle of a mediocre sex session when he asked me to wait there as he 'needed to go and have a dump'. I was mortified.
This has me roaring laughing and tbf it's probably something I'd say lol
ohcarolina2001 · 17/12/2020 03:35

A date, in a misguided attempt at flirting, asked me if I got turned on when I go for smear tests.... I choked on my chips

SunFlowerRose · 17/12/2020 07:28

@EveryoneRevealsThemselves

Has anyone else had it where, having met OLD and chatted for a while, has INSISTED a on having a telephone call before meeting up in person? It’s happened to me twice, and both their pushiness about having the call and the things they said on it actually put me off both people so never even had a first date.
To be fair I see this as sensible, although I wouldn't push it id just suggest it. This is more to make sure they are actually a bloke and kind of sound the age they say they are. Far too many cat fishing these days ha ha.

Although I met my current partner in tier 2 so social distance walking was a perfect date in my eyes as then if it didn't work out he couldn't get close enough to touch me or try and kiss me.

Hes now my bubble so it worked out lovely.

Julestherabbit · 17/12/2020 07:36

He brought the family photo album and talked me through every picture.

RainbowAura · 17/12/2020 08:05

Admitting to using the word 'P*ki'. Bringing wet wipes in case he needed to shit in a bush whilst out on a walk. Different guys btw Grin

Paterson8080 · 17/12/2020 10:50

I wouldn't have got a second date with many of you!

Nore · 17/12/2020 11:16

@Paterson8080

I wouldn't have got a second date with many of you!
@Paterson8080, I would be genuinely fascinated to know which of the behaviours mentioned you have actually done, or wouldn't see the issue with!

Confide you are about to become homeless and hint about moving in on a first date? Stop sex to announce you are going to 'go and take a dump'? Talk through your entire family album? Have Nigel Farage as your phone wallpaper?