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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's the weirdest reason you have decided to not go on a second date with someone?

522 replies

SnowDogFarts · 14/12/2020 19:58

Just imagine you are on a first date with someone and it's going good until...that moment they say or do something that instantly switches your brain to "nope."

I had a first date with someone after chatting to them for a few weeks. It was going well and we were walking through one of my favourite country parks (beautiful) with a takeaway coffee when he decided to dump the empty cup on the floor, when there were bins dotted around everywhere. And that was the moment right there that couldn't be undone. I guess I don't like litterbugs 🤷‍♀️

So, tell me, what was their crime? Big, small, weird, wonderful or other.

OP posts:
thelegohooverer · 15/12/2020 20:08

Thought of another one. He asked me to dance but meant for him, rather than together (took me a minute to realise) and then later gave me critical feedback to improve my dancingHmm

Then there was the guy who told me that he thought I was high when he asked me out because my pupils were dilated. I wasn’t comfortable dating someone who was comfortable dating someone he thought was on drugs.

And, my first boyfriend, when I knew no better used to monologue like a stand up comic- you couldn’t get a word in edgeways, one joke after another. My face used to hurt from pretending to be amused when actually it was so, so tedious. Sadly he did get a 2nd date. And a 3rd and 4th until eventually, I grew some self worth!

This thread is very cathartic!

Evans800 · 15/12/2020 20:09

He started doing magic tricks with cards within the first 5 minutes of our date (first time meeting - internet dating), he was very good but...didn't stop. I ended up feeling really awkward and bored. He was also 10 years older than his photo (which in itself wasn't a problem but I really didn't like the deception so it was already a no).

Drogonssmile · 15/12/2020 20:14

We went for a romantic moonlit walk and he stopped to kiss me but he reeked of garlic. I was undecided before that but the garlic breath turned it into a definite nope. I finished it with him the next day.

Still hate husband kissing me with garlic breath! And the kids!

doctorhamster · 15/12/2020 20:19

It became apparent when trying to arrange our first date that he was a really fussy eater. We were going back and forth trying to decide on a restaurant (didn't like curry, didn't like Chinese, didn't like Mexican etc etc) and I should have backed out at that point but I'd already committed to the date and he was very attractive so didn't feel I could. We ended up at a chain Italian type place. The waiter came to take our order and my date asked if a particular pasta sauce had lumps in it. Any attraction I might have felt dried up on the spot.

andawaywego · 15/12/2020 20:19

He had long hair. OK, I knew that from his photos, but when I saw it in person, it was really stringy and thinning and not appealling. He was quite a good looking guy, hair aside. Apparently there was no chance he'd ever cut it because then he'd be 'boring'.

I knew a guy from a local pub who asked me out and we arranged to go out to a local Indian. He ended up having a back and forth with the waiter about whether they could cook him some chicken nuggets, since they were on the kids menu. He ate them with his hands like a toddler.

The man who got huffy at me because I didn't want to share some oysters. No mate, I've had oysters, I'm not really keen, there are other things I'd prefer to try. He was also rude to the waiter, so I was getting major emotional abuser vibes off him.

SantasBritchesSpelleas · 15/12/2020 20:24

I think my worst was a man who started to slip my shoe off under the table to rub my foot - in the middle of a busy pub. Soon put a stop to that. Confused He also told me he didn't read books. I don't care what sort of tastes a man has in books as long as he reads something. There was no second date. He worked in a cafe and I spent the next two years avoiding it in case he might be in there, until thankfully it closed down.

happinessischocolate · 15/12/2020 20:27

@WitchQueenofDarkness

No don't think so, think he's a builder, his initials are PM 😁

vdbfamily · 15/12/2020 20:28

He had seams ironed into front of his jeans which I could not cope with😂

JanetSnakeholeMacklin · 15/12/2020 20:32

He had a portrait of Margaret Thatcher on his living room wall. Shock

He also shushed me! I was gutted. I'd fancied him for ages.

JanetSnakeholeMacklin · 15/12/2020 20:34

Also mentally decided not to date a guy who told me he liked toys. Like transformers and stuff. Confused

Badadabing · 15/12/2020 20:48

My OLD turned up about 2ft shorter and 10 years older than his profile stated. He was in a really shiny cheap black suit. Could see I wasn't into him so he started to tell me that he was a model in the 80's (oh well I'll best sleep with you now!) he also had a Porsche key ring he kept playing with and leaving on the table in view. During (the dying depths of) small talk he said he worked as a head mechanic at the air port and was great at his job and could travel etc with his job (oh go on then I'll shag you now), anyway made my excuses and left, naturally ignored the emails... especially when he copied and sent me the full lyrics to a song a casually mentioned I liked. Never saw him again, but a while later I met a friend who loosely knew of him, no he definitely didn't drive a Porsche and the airport job? They said they were pretty sure he was a lorry driver for the airport freight. Let this catch slip though my fingers eh ladies Wink

XmasHollie · 15/12/2020 21:45

Daily mail has got this threadXmas Hmm

Bloodypunkrockers · 15/12/2020 22:52

OLD date. Talked for a few weeks got on great

I spent ages picking a nice outfit and traveled to Edinburgh to meet him

He was dressed in a scruffy t-shirt and smelled of pot. And he was tiny

We had a few drinks and then went for something to eat

He took me to Burger King. I offered to pay half and he told me we would buy our own.

We weren't teenagers. We were in early forties

He was quite nasty when I said I didn't want to see him again

Cowgran · 15/12/2020 23:15

Customer at a supermarket I worked in during uni days. He used to come in for his
Lunch and always buy 2 Baci chocolates, one for him and one for me. Never said much but was a little flirty. Finally he asked me out. We got on really well at lunch, but then on the way to drop me home he spotted a skate park, got out, grabbed his skateboard and left me waiting for him for 20 minutes! I waited politely and just never contacted him again. Nowadays I would just walk off and call a cab but I was only 18 at the time and fairly naïve in the dating world.

Cattenberg · 15/12/2020 23:24

Over the course of the date he looked more and more exactly like a younger version of my grandad. Couldn’t unsee it

Similar here. My date was older than me but had nice, straight white teeth. I think he knew they were one of his best features and he smiled a lot. But I found his smile off-putting. Why?

I then realised that my date’s smile was uncannily like that of my 60-year-old colleague, Ray. I couldn’t fancy him after that. I was only 22, FFS.

Cattenberg · 15/12/2020 23:35

Also, I’m not sure this counted as a date, but I was having a pub lunch with a colleague who seemed to fancy me.

At one point we were talking about pets, and he mentioned his family’s dog. He then talked about “the old doggy-doo moment” and mimed picking dogshit off the pavement with his hand. I’m not normally very squeamish, but I had a wave of nausea that put me off eating.

He sent me a message saying that he’d really enjoyed our lunch and would like to do it again. I couldn’t bring myself to reply.

Iamthewombat · 15/12/2020 23:42

Thought of another one. He asked me to dance but meant for him, rather than together (took me a minute to realise) and then later gave me critical feedback to improve my dancing

I am crying with laughter at this.

FenellaVelour · 15/12/2020 23:54

Some of these are utterly grim. You wonder if they ever met anyone.

Mine would be:

  1. Told me he’d nicked a load of tax discs from a rural Post Office and offered me one for free if I went home with him. I did not.
  1. Told me he’d still fancy me when I was covered with stretch marks after having his children. I didn’t even want children, and certainly not his.
  1. Snogging a guy with him leaning over me. A bogey dropped out of his nose and fell into my nostril. I gagged. I still feel sick now thinking about it, and it was 23 years ago.

All different guys.

FenellaVelour · 15/12/2020 23:55

Oh I forgot the chap who stripped naked while I was in the loo after I went to his place to watch a movie. Took me years to get round to finishing Flatliners after that.

Greygreenblue · 16/12/2020 09:10

I went on a date with a guy in a country where waitresses rely on tipping to make a living wage. I was working as a waitress at the time. He left her an offensively small tip even though she did nothing wrong. The date ended there.

BlueSuffragette · 16/12/2020 09:46

First date- over dinner he asked if my car had alloy wheels. I said not sure as I'm not really into cars. He then went on about how to make sure I remove the alloy wheels to wash them properly. Confused I knew there and then that he didn't listen, was dull and not the man for me.

VettiyaIruken · 16/12/2020 10:35

We went to the pub, then later he took me home. At the door I looked at him, deciding whether or not I was going to invite him in for 'coffee' and suddenly realised he looked exactly like my dad. Exactly. 10 years younger and no grey hair but apart from that, the spitting image. He leaned in for a kiss and I was repulsed. I dodged it, said a quick thank you and goodnight and went in, locked the door behind me and never spoke to the poor bloke again. I was never able to explain why I seemingly went bonkers, I couldn't face telling him that I suddenly felt I was inviting my dad up for 'coffee'.

funfunfunfunfun · 16/12/2020 10:39

He wore sovereign rings and kept making comments about my bum when we were playing pool.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 16/12/2020 10:48

Well, there was the guy who spent the entire date looking over my shoulder. Turned out he was admiring his handsome face in the bar mirror. Grin

The one who kept vanishing to the gents every 10 minutes. Took me way too long to figure out he was checking/adjusting his toupé

The one who at the end of the first date said. "I guess you're my girlfriend now"
Er ... nope.
So glad I'm old and married now.

Bluejeantreefrog · 16/12/2020 11:07

Arranged a date with guy met in a drunk night out, seemed nice, normal. Turned up in burgundy trousers quite fitted not too bad until we sat down in the pub and the crotch area seemed inflated with air like a huge codpuece. He didnt seem to notice I was so embarrassed and was convinced everyone was staring. Finished my drink and made emergency up.

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