Are you meeting with family on Christmas Day?

[Fortheweekend]

Christmas Day lunch for us is usually dh, myself, dc (12 and 15) then in the afternoon and evening we are joined by both sets of parents (all in late 70’s), my sister and her husband. We have a great time, eating, drinking and playing games, like most families.
This year has been crap. DH lost his mum 10 weeks ago. My mums Alzheimer’s has progressed and tbh I can’t imagine she will be very good at all in 6 months let alone next Christmas.
I was hoping that we could try and have as best a Christmas as possible this year and was quite pleased when the government announced 3 households can mix. We were planning on having just dh, myself, dc and fil for lunch and then my parents and sister and husband for the evening.
However, some experts are saying on Good Morning Britain today that we should most definitely NOT be mixing indoors at all this year as it will spread like wildfire and perhaps going for a walk (impossible with my mum) or sitting in the garden would be more appropriate (again how can you do that with elderly parents?) or having a big get together later in the spring after many elderly will have been vaccinated.
I’m now in a quandary. Not quite sure what to do. I’m concerned that having my parents and fil in our house will put them at serious risk (even though they all want to come).
I suppose we could pop in and see fil in the afternoon and see my parents later and see my sister and bil at a different day).
What are your plans for Christmas Day?

My mum is staying at home this year by herself for the first time ever. She decided about a month ago that she wasn't going to come and has hardly left the house at all since March. She's 77 with a full and active life ordinarily. She says she's determined not to get it.

My sister, her dh and three dc are coming on Christmas Day.

Meeting up with friends in bars and getting quite drunk probably, whilst wearing Santa hats

Surely your father in law as a single house hold could be a bubble with your house hold (making one house hold) then your parents and sister are another 2 house holds so you are fine too see everyone.

We’re spending it just us and our daughter, with my mum coming for dinner as she’s in our bubble.

Wider family members are a bit put out by the decision I think, but the Christmas bubbles baffle me, to be quite honest. I just can’t understand how it’s sensible to be mixing indoors, potentially in groups of 25, for such lengthy periods. Especially as we’re in tier 3 here.

I’ve got a lot of ‘but we’re allowed!’ so far, but that doesn’t bloody mean I want to! Just seems a huge risk for me, personally. I’m looking forward to our quiet Christmas just the 4 of us.

Zoecarter that’s exactly what I thought but watching the tv this morning and these 3 ‘experts’ all saying we should most definitely NOT be mixing at all has made me rethink!

@Zoecarter just because you can doesn't mean you should. That amount of mixing might be within the rules but it will still increase the risk of catching the virus.

My mum died recently and I hadn't hugged her for months in order to keep her 'safe'. She died anyway (not from covid) without the love that she needed.

I'm kind of torn, not seeing elderly relatives, but I am seeing other family as we all need support after losing both my mum and nan within six months.

My mum and dad are visiting Christmas day, dp is taking ds to mil on boxing day (I'm working boxing day).

My dad and mil are in our childcare bubble so it's only my mum and mil's bf who are not part of our bubble anyway.

Tbh I'm rather glad I don't have to put up with in laws (sil is ok but that's about it) or extended family and can actually have Christmas at home for once. I'm half tempted to see if I can make it stick.

I think you should do what is best for you, but that’s 4 households - it being at different times of the day makes no difference, you may as well do your usual plan if you’re going to be 4 households together at some point in the day (you and your family, your FIL, you sister and husband, your parents). You could bubble with your FIL as pp suggested but that should be taken seriously and is a permanent thing and means you can’t meet up indoors / bubble with other people. I get frustrated by people saying ‘oh we’re bubbling with X’ or even ‘X and Y’ - until very recently it was ONLY single adult households could bubble with anyone, not families with other couples or families. Now parents with children under 1 and those who care for someone they live with can too (and ofc kids of separated parents could always see both). If I was you I think I’d be doing my usual 4 but with the risk your FIL and parents could get very ill but that with the year you have and your mum’s alzheimer’s it’s worth the risk. If you don’t think it is then I wouldn’t do it. Could you all isolate before meeting up? Especially your family and your sister and her husband who are probably the ones out and about seeing people more than your FIL and parents. That would make it the safest way to mix, so no seeing anyone else and only online shopping etc for as long as you can beforehand, I’d imagine at least a week. The kids seeing their grandparents is the biggest risk as they could very easily be carriers and well themselves and schools are hotbeds! I hope you work out something that works for you :)

No family visiting here. One is determined to stay at home and not see anybody and the other family who could visit are staying away because they are in a high risk job.

Nope. There is now light at the end of the tunnel with the vaccine, no way am I risking my lovely PiLs health (usually spend Christmas with them as am quite a distance from my own family and am never able to get enough leave over Christmas to make the trip - we usually go down in Feb for a late Christmas with them). We agreed this with them a while ago. We will Zoom on Christmas Day, but will not get together until they have been vaccinated. Would never forgive ourselves if we took the risk and passed something on to them.

What are the individualnrisknfactors involved OP?

If most of yiyvare fairly isolated anyway (working from home, retired etc) then your prior risk of infection would be quite low.
If you ate all out at work, school, mingling etc in the 10-14 days before your risk of infection and therefore spread will be higher.

I had resigned myself to the fact it would be just the four of us this year and was content but my sister in law has invited us to theirs along with my mil and fil.
I really am torn as every else thinks it's great, I'm the only one that doesn't think it's wise as fil is in his early 90s and I'm worried for him (although he's out and about when restrictions allow) and feel like the Grinch. I'm sure we will end up going though

@Zoecarter

Your suggestion makes it within the rules. But the risks do not diminish just because you make a declaration that somebody is in a “bubble”. It doesn’t actually offer protection. The OP is asking about whether they should, not whether it is within the rules.

No, we always spend Christmas with family but won't be seeing them this year. It isn't worth the risk imo and thankfully, all of my family agree on this.

Listen to the experts, they are telling us not to risk it.

We usually go to my mums. She lives 300 miles away so we can’t pop over to wave through the window, so we won’t see her. It’s temporary. It’s shit, but not a risk were prepared to take.

I'm working at home for the majority of the time, and the bloke I'm seeing (mutual support bubble) lives alone and works pretty socially distanced in a large truck workshop with 1 other person, so my biggest concern 're seeing my parents was my children.
Eldest is at 6th form on a week in / week online basis and thankfully this week is online then they finish. Youngest in yr 10, I was planning on taking him out from Wednesday, but then he got sent home last Monday to self isolate and isn't due back till next term (with the drop to 10 days I think that's actually Friday now - but there is NO WAY he is going in for one day on to potentially have to self isolate for another 10 days).

It’s such a dilemma but I think, like many families, we are going to have to rearrange everything. Just makes me so very sad that my lovely mum will most probably not be of sound mind come next Christmas but there is nothing we can do about that.
loutypips so sorry for your loss. This is exactly what we had with mil, it’s been an absolute horrendous year for people with dying loved ones. We could only visit mil on the last few days of her life. She was on her own in hospital and in pain for many months.

I'm in a bubble with mum, she covid tests twice a week.

My sister will be coming over, so that's one extra over our current bubble.

Just the three of us for Christmas, then it'll be me mum and my teenage kiddos the week after for Christmas 2: Electric Boogaloo, but we all count as one household. It's a bit risky adding the teenagers, both separate households really and both will have been at school, but there'll be at least ten days between the end of school and our Christmas.

My Mum and her partner already had covid back in April so with reinfection as rare as it seems to be, the risk seems nominal. We always have Christmas Day at home but usually go for a meal at their house on Boxing Day or the 27th so we’re going to do that as normal I think. Won’t be seeing anyone else though, our other close relatives are more at risk.

@Fortheweekend did you think it was risk free before you saw the news article this morning?

All because the Government said you can mix doesn’t mean you should. I am sure they are only relaxing the rules because they knew many people would be mixing whatever the rules, so they brought in Christmas bubbles in the hope that people would at least limit how many people they will mix with.

We won’t be having a meal together but are hoping to meet for a walk or something outdoors.

Yes.
Me, DB and DSIL have rented an apartment near our DPs. We will stay there and they will come to us each day for the three allowed days (the end two are travelling days), arriving about 11 and leaving about 5.
We are all isolating from this weekend just gone in preparation and have lots of safer practices planned - eg. one sofa, bathroom and two dining chairs reserved exclusively for them, separate food plating etc.
It is as safe as we can make it while still meeting up indoors. My mum has dementia and potentially won't recognise next Christmas, and my dad as her sole carer has had a tough time with only garden visits from me. They are really excited.

Not this year. I feel bad for my mum, but my sister (who still lives at home) works with the public AND has seen more friends this week than I've seen this year, and no matter how small the risk, I cannot afford to be ill first week of Jan for various reasons.

So we're going to stay at home and eat a lot and get drunk and Facetime various family members.

Nope, it's just going to be me & my teenage DD, the same as it was through lockdown. Luckily we get on really well