Are you meeting with family on Christmas Day?

[Fortheweekend]

Christmas Day lunch for us is usually dh, myself, dc (12 and 15) then in the afternoon and evening we are joined by both sets of parents (all in late 70’s), my sister and her husband. We have a great time, eating, drinking and playing games, like most families.
This year has been crap. DH lost his mum 10 weeks ago. My mums Alzheimer’s has progressed and tbh I can’t imagine she will be very good at all in 6 months let alone next Christmas.
I was hoping that we could try and have as best a Christmas as possible this year and was quite pleased when the government announced 3 households can mix. We were planning on having just dh, myself, dc and fil for lunch and then my parents and sister and husband for the evening.
However, some experts are saying on Good Morning Britain today that we should most definitely NOT be mixing indoors at all this year as it will spread like wildfire and perhaps going for a walk (impossible with my mum) or sitting in the garden would be more appropriate (again how can you do that with elderly parents?) or having a big get together later in the spring after many elderly will have been vaccinated.
I’m now in a quandary. Not quite sure what to do. I’m concerned that having my parents and fil in our house will put them at serious risk (even though they all want to come).
I suppose we could pop in and see fil in the afternoon and see my parents later and see my sister and bil at a different day).
What are your plans for Christmas Day?

We’re staying home. We usually go to either the in-laws who are in Newcastle or my parents in The States. We told them in October we weren’t coming since we didn’t know if they would be in lockdown once again or we could be. Plus, I’m working Christmas Eve and then the the 27th so we wouldn’t be there for our usual 5/10 days anyway and it’s not worth driving the 5 hours there (if traffic is good) and then rush back down two days later.

Add in the rules for the time, we wouldn’t have been able to go anyway with DH having two other siblings who are near by.

We plan on having a Chinese and relaxing since this is the first Christmas at home and not having to pack up and drive somewhere.

Tbh, it isn’t worth it to us when the situation is still ongoing. Rather be safe than sorry.

We are staying at home alone on 25th, not even going to mass or visiting DAunt for a drink after (both set in stone when we stay at home rather than travel to DPs/DMIL). DH announced last night that teen DD can spend the day in PJs if she wants!! So that is a definite signal of intent.

I am meeting DSis next weekend for a walk and to exchange presents, she has offered to call to DMIL beforehand if there is anything to be collected, and to pass on what we have for them (I will also be getting the presents for DAunts and DUncles local to me to be passed on).

Passing on presents will be done at doorsteps before 25th.

And we might, if numbers are acceptably stable, go for a 1 day visit after Christmas itself - between 27th and 3rd Jan most likely,(although DSis has offered us the use of her house, and she will stay in DPs, if we want to stay overnight). But if we do go down, we have to visit both sides of the family, which means 3-4 households on each side (depending if DSIL and family are also visiting on 1 side, and if DB and family are still visiting on the other).

But numbers took a big jump yesterday, which hopefully was only a statistical jump and not the start of a trend, but it is exactly 2 weeks after our lockdown ended, so may well be the increases expected after that. In which case, I will meet DSis outdoors next weekend, as allowed, but we will probably not travel down to see everyone.

I'm going to my mums this year like normal. She is my child care, so we're already in a family support bubble. My uncle and Aunty are coming, and my brother whom lives at home still will be there.
Mum and Aunty both get tested weekly through work as they work together.
Uncle works alone, as does brother and my husband works alone outside.

Sadly my sister won't be there due to living in a tier 3 area and we've not seen her at all during covid.
Both grandparents won't be coming either this year due to it's too risky being as they have both isolates the whole time since March, not worth risking it now when they are all already vulnerable due to existing illness.

I won't be seeing my dad and other sisters either (from his Side only) as again too many houses and too much mixing.

We're only seeing those we see already as already in a bubble. We decided it was best not to see all the other family this year, and hope to make up for it shortly once able too.

Me and mum have both had covid. I know you can get it again, but the chance of that are very low.

Op I think it depends on factors specific to each family - where everyone works, if there are school aged kids, vulnerable family members. I will be spending it with my partner (who doesn’t live with me) and dc. We will all be isolating beforehand (home schooling) as we don’t want my partner to get it. We’re also avoiding other family members because they’re vulnerable. Luckily the family members have good mental health and none are alone or we might’ve made a different decision.

We’d normally have Db and SIL on Xmas Eve, then one set of parents Xmas Day and the other Boxing Day. All of us have at least one vulnerability and one is CEV. None of us have children. So we could do part of that normal plan (though not all as that would be more than 3 households, and with SIL also wanting to se her family it would be five or six in total). We all came to the same decision that, with the vaccine coming so soon for the parents, and all of us having been so careful so far, there’s no point ruining it all now, so each couple will spend Christmas at their own home.

We’re seeing my partners parents and no one else. Both households have been careful all year, both my kids happen to be in self isolation until the end of term now which I suppose is somewhat convenient. If they’d not been then I don’t know tbh. Cases are increasing a lot here, loads of schools have closed early for the end of term as they’ve run out of teachers who aren’t insolation. That said it’s my partner and not my in-laws who are most vulnerable and were part of the same household so I guess we’d be mixing anyway. I wouldn’t mix at Christmas with people I thought had been careless.

I think you need to make your own decision based on risk and what you're willing to accept. I'm going to see my parents but I'm working from home and don't have kids so my risk of exposure is relatively low. I'm not going to the gym this week and I'll exercise outside alone and do food shopping online. The only place I need to go is one shop to pick up an order and then the post office. I also have a couple of hospital appointments which I'm less than keen about but didn't want to cancel as they came through really quickly. If I had kids in school until the end of this week / early next week and was working in an office or job that has a lot of interaction with other people then I wouldn't be going.

My sister and her husband are quarantining at the moment so they can spend Christmas with my parents (70's) who have been very careful all year. I have teenagers who are at college and school so we decided it best for us to just stay home by ourselves. I'll miss my family but it's not about obeying rules, it's about protecting yourself and your loved ones.

Sometimes the risk is worth it. In your shoes, I'd be guided by my mum.

I say this as gently as possible, but this could be her last chance at a family Christmas. I think she should be allowed to decide whether she wants to take her chances with covid in order to spend that precious time with you

A quick brunch with inlaws on Christmas Day, but that's it. We will wait and see other family later, when it's safer

Sadly not this year. I can't see the point of mingling and potentially infecting everyone when the vaccine is so close. My parents also came to this conclusion. As they are over 80 hopefully they will be first on the list. We will have a zoom call, possibly a walk on Boxing Day and a party in the spring.

Sorry, to answer your question yes I am seeing family. I'll be hosting my mum, sister and bil.

We all work from home and are being careful.
Plus my mum has suffered with her mental health this year and that makes the risk worth it to me.

Completely agree with posters saying you need to weigh up your decision based on the risk you're prepared to accept. It's an awful, horrible situation for many this year

I lost my dad earlier this year and so there's already an empty seat around my table this Christmas which will be incredibly hard. To make things even worse I won't be seeing my DM as her partner has dementia and is high risk.

The tiers locally mean nothing as we're in tier 3 with almost no local cases (rural) but up the road there's a town in tier 2 which has loads of cases. I don't think decisions about seeing family/friends can purely be made on that basis.

No, not worth the risk IMO and I was of that opinion before watching the news this morning.

Personally I think the government have been irresponsible to open up the country for as long as they are just as a vaccine is in sight. You only have to look at what the figures have done this week to get a vague idea of how hideous it will be by January.

I do totally understand instances such as the OP’s mum etc, but on the whole i think that we should follow Germany’s lead and cancel Christmas when the review happens on the 16th.

It’s just a day and surely it would be better to celebrate at a time when you don’t have to make all sorts of logistical arrangements and deal with people (unreasonably) becoming offended when they’re not included etc.

We're spending it with one of our DC. We've all had covid in the last few months so just about risk free.

Mum is my support bubble, no one else joining. No church (in person, view the service online), no football on Boxing Day (well would not have happened as it is an away game), possibly no visit to the local lake either.

Don’t know yet. Dd and family are a 1 1/2 hour drive away so we’re not going to meet on the day just for a walk.

We’re waiting to see whether a) we’re all well, and b) that there were no cases in families at little Gdcs’ schools (2 different ones until next Sept). They break up this Thursday so 🤞.

We will be, my parents and sister.

Obviously provided none of us are ill and our area rates haven't rocketed.

I think my Mum and Grandad are going to call in to see my daughter open her presents but we aren't having lunch together. I'll be spending most of the day with my husband and daughter. This is what we did last year too though.

I'm in a support bubble with my DD and we and my Sister are going to my eldest's DD. Technically four households, but my eldest and I provide childcare for my DD, so I don't see that there's that much of a difference. Other than childcare, which is socially distanced outside school pick up, I'm not going out at all. Other than work, my DD's are following the rules. My Sister (65) is already seeing a psychiatrist and her falls are increasing, she lives alone and has aged during this. So we are prioritising mental health. We've all had Covid and although me and my Sister ate on the shielding list, it was like having a heavy cold. We're in Liverpool and are all getting tested every five days.

They've asked people to not do what you are planning and splitting up the visiting lots of people over a few days. You might as well break the three household rules.

Personally I'd prioritise your Mum, keep your children at a distance from her and see the others over New Year.

@Zoecarter

Surely your father in law as a single house hold could be a bubble with your house hold (making one house hold) then your parents and sister are another 2 house holds so you are fine too see everyone.

Our health board and council keep putting out the message “just because it’s allowed doesn’t mean you should”. And advising everyone should sit 2m apart not touch and keep windows open. Just because you can mix 3 households doesn’t stop it spreading between those three, infecting everyone if one of you is a super spreader.

My parents always come to us for Christmas. This year they aren't. My step dad is over 70 and in the vulnerable category. They could legitimately come, but won't because both our kids are at primary school which obv is a potential risk. My Dad similarly won't be coming, as he's been shielding since March.

They are both of the mindset that they've hung on this long for the vaccine, why should it being Christmas affect that, although they're of course disappointed to be missing out. Totally understand your position OP with your parents, but if you can hang on, maybe just a few more weeks, then you can maybe get together properly in the Spring?

I'll pop up to my elderly parents to wish them a Happy Christmas. I'll do what we've done all along and socially distance, obviously won't go indoors and will stand on the driveway. How I'd love for a big family get together this year but not at the expense of my parents contracting Covid.
I don't need politicians to tell me to bubble, not bubble, three families, drink with food etc etc. It's all very simple, Covid can kill and I want the remainder of my family to live

We’ll be seeing my mum, who we see twice a week anyway as she lives alone and therefore we are her ‘support bubble’.
She works part time in the NHS and has already had Covid fairly recently.