Are you meeting with family on Christmas Day?

[Fortheweekend]

Christmas Day lunch for us is usually dh, myself, dc (12 and 15) then in the afternoon and evening we are joined by both sets of parents (all in late 70’s), my sister and her husband. We have a great time, eating, drinking and playing games, like most families.
This year has been crap. DH lost his mum 10 weeks ago. My mums Alzheimer’s has progressed and tbh I can’t imagine she will be very good at all in 6 months let alone next Christmas.
I was hoping that we could try and have as best a Christmas as possible this year and was quite pleased when the government announced 3 households can mix. We were planning on having just dh, myself, dc and fil for lunch and then my parents and sister and husband for the evening.
However, some experts are saying on Good Morning Britain today that we should most definitely NOT be mixing indoors at all this year as it will spread like wildfire and perhaps going for a walk (impossible with my mum) or sitting in the garden would be more appropriate (again how can you do that with elderly parents?) or having a big get together later in the spring after many elderly will have been vaccinated.
I’m now in a quandary. Not quite sure what to do. I’m concerned that having my parents and fil in our house will put them at serious risk (even though they all want to come).
I suppose we could pop in and see fil in the afternoon and see my parents later and see my sister and bil at a different day).
What are your plans for Christmas Day?

We will be. All 3 households are isolating for a week prior to mixing, most are retired/wfh anyway so low risk. Got a Xmas delivery slot for food. DSis and I are both key workers and have arranged to be tested through work before we start isolating. We bought 98% accurate private tests for all 3 households to do on 23rd before we mix. The only child is age 4 and in Reception, they’ll be having a test too incase they are asymptomatically carrying.

So not completely risk-free but for various reasons we all feel able to go ahead. If local rates shoot up we’ll look at reconsidering.

Not seeing anyone outside of our home. Open presents, take dogs to the beach, dinner, nap, drinks and FaceTime with family and friends.

We had wanted to see family, but we are now spending it with relatives already in our support bubble.

Yes we are.

DC have already had Covid (tested positive), whether I have or not I don't know as I didn't get symptoms whilst they were isolating but I WFH and barely leave the house so 🤷 I left it up to my parents and they want to see us.

I've barely seen my mum this year (in her 70s and lives a 4 hour drive away.) I'd love to see her but she would rather not, I have two children in nursery so that's the biggest risk factor for us with them mixing with other children. She says, completely understandably that we've waited this long so not to risk it now when she'll be getting vaccinated at the start of next year. It's really crap, we've had two family bereavements this year (one suicide) and it's just been an extremely tough year in general as it has for many people. I'm busying myself planning in my head for all the parties we'll have in 2021.

We will be seeing my parents - but we see them during the week anyway as they provide childcare for us.

We might see DH's side of the family but I am leaving it up to them if they want to meet or not

No. We have invited BiL and his partner (don't live together, so that would be 3 households) but they've declined as she wants to visit her (very unwell) mother on Boxing Day. So it's just us and the dog.

As pp have said, just because you can (under the rules) visit, doesn't mean you should. With cases starting to rise again already, we all need to think this through very carefully. Is it really worth it for one day?

On Christmas Day it’ll be just our household.

On Boxing Day we have loose plans to meet up with PIL at a National Trust. None of us want to go inside.

DP’s birthday is at Easter weekend so we’ll probably have a big get together then with his family.

My dad and his partner who always visit for a few days around Christmas/New Year live nearly 300 miles away from us and their having a quiet festive period. Looking at after Easter for seeing them.

The vaccine is now rolling out I can wait a few months to see people but luckily I don’t have anyone who is really old or ill where this might be their last Christmas.
I’m also worried about the state of the schools in January, although there in a bad way now, I think all the Christmas mixing is going to make the situation a hell of a lot worse and I don’t want to add to that - our kids education has been disrupted too much this year.

And I dread to think what state the hospitals will be in in about 4-5 weeks time.

@MrsExpo

No. We have invited BiL and his partner (don't live together, so that would be 3 households) but they've declined as she wants to visit her (very unwell) mother on Boxing Day. So it's just us and the dog.

As pp have said, just because you can (under the rules) visit, doesn't mean you should. With cases starting to rise again already, we all need to think this through very carefully. Is it really worth it for one day?

Seems a bit odd to say that you’ve invited people to visit you for Christmas then warn other people that they shouldn’t see people

Same as every year. Our family of 6 plus my sister in law and brother in law, they’ve both had Covid. We’ll take dinner to my father in law in the afternoon. My mum will come at some point after Xmas.

Well we now have DS ill after a confirmed Covid case in his class and are waiting for a Covid test result but we hadn't planned to meet any family anyway.

Usually we have family from another European country who come every Christmas- obviously not happening this uear. DM died last year ,FIL died this year and DF and MIL does a few years ago so no need to consider very elderly lonely relatives. I would usually see my DDis & BIL and adult DN but both sister and BIL are quite vulnerable and in their 60s so we are all staying home this year and having a zoom call in the afternoon . Just as well if DS turns out to have Covid

@Milkshake7489

Sometimes the risk is worth it. In your shoes, I'd be guided by my mum.

I say this as gently as possible, but this could be her last chance at a family Christmas. I think she should be allowed to decide whether she wants to take her chances with covid in order to spend that precious time with you

I agree with this. Let your parents and FIL decide themselves if they want to come. There will always be risk but tomorrow is not promised to anyone

PIL coming to give presents out but nothing else as they don't do technology. Family zoom for my side.

My parents are planning to come to our house (myself, DH, 2 teens) from 24th til 27th Dec

We won't be seeing anyone else

Its isn't risk free for my parents (in early 70s) but they are still keen to come. I gave them the option of what they wanted to do and made it clear that we wouldn't be offended if they opted to stay at home.

Obviously current plan is dependent on no one being symptatic or being told to isolate, or another change in government guidance

Reluctantly, yes.

just because you can doesn't mean you should. That amount of mixing might be within the rules but it will still increase the risk of catching the virus.

This is why my family aren't seeing eachother. Covid isn't going to take time off over Christmas. It's as simple as that.

It's only risky if you have a chance of having covid. Make sure you don't (we're isolating for the ten days before Christmas abs seeing DM abs her partner on Boxing Day) and there is no risk. If you can't do that then I would reconsider.

It'll just be the three of us but we live in England and my mum is in NI. I don't think they have the same Christmas bubble system there. She's going to my cousin's house on Christmas day where she will, as usual, be treated like royalty as she's like a second mum/grandparent to them as my cousin's own mum, my mum's sister, died a long time ago. She's 81 and I couldn't stand the thought of her being alone on Christmas day.

9 of us (3 households) will be spending Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and probably more together. If we can spend the 5 days together over Christmas why can't we spend other days together. Doesn't make much sense to me and we would have spent Christmas together regardless of the rules.

We are. But we are off work from this past weekend till after new years. So we're isolating, except for a scan I need but it's not at a hospital, it's a separate maternity unit. Inlaws are retired and isolating so we're spending the Christmas period with them. Seeing my mum on Christmas eve for a socially distanced walk and not seeing anyone else.

Visiting immediate family (2 houses) briefly in the morning, then coming home to have Christmas dinner just the two of us for the first time.

No. Parents are late 70s or early 80s, I'm ECV and we have 2 dc in different schools. Just not worth the risks. Especially not when vaccinations are a very real prospect in the next few weeks and months.

No - we are in a high risk area so DH, DD and I will be staying away from relatives for safety's sake.

What breaks my heart though is that my poor Nan, who is 82, has chosen (if you can even describe it as chosen since the universe has forced her into this shitty situation) to spend Christmas day alone at home because she is currently going through chemo for breast cancer and can't afford to catch anything off anyone especially covid. My parents and brother will take her over some turkey but it will be them standing at a distance on the driveway unable to hug or anything. If not for the cancer they would have been together for Christmas because they are a bubble.

Does anybody feel like this year is some kind of cruel 'test' or something? Virtually everyone I know - in addition to covid - is going through hell from either ill health, bereavement, infidelity, financial dire straits, general run of terrible luck where everything that can go wrong is going wrong. What a horrible horrible year. I can't wait for 2020 to fuck right off.

We are having PIL for Christmas lunch, first time we will have seen them in-doors since July. DH and I both work from home, and I go to supermarket once a week so we're low risk but we have 1 dd in p1 and 1 at nursery once a week. I didnt think they would want to risk it but have decided they do!
I help to look after my mum but she has been isolating for what seems like forever. She's in a household with my sis (who works from home) and we share childcare so would be seeing them any way. We haven't seen anyone else for months and will be continuing that until the older ones are vaccinated.
The sad thing is my grandparents who are 92 and 94 can't get their usual family visits, we will go and wave through the window but that's it.

Our adult daughter will be coming to stay for a few days over Christmas. That is the full extent of our family on both sides, just three people, my husband, our daughter and me.