Are you meeting with family on Christmas Day?

[Fortheweekend]

Christmas Day lunch for us is usually dh, myself, dc (12 and 15) then in the afternoon and evening we are joined by both sets of parents (all in late 70’s), my sister and her husband. We have a great time, eating, drinking and playing games, like most families.
This year has been crap. DH lost his mum 10 weeks ago. My mums Alzheimer’s has progressed and tbh I can’t imagine she will be very good at all in 6 months let alone next Christmas.
I was hoping that we could try and have as best a Christmas as possible this year and was quite pleased when the government announced 3 households can mix. We were planning on having just dh, myself, dc and fil for lunch and then my parents and sister and husband for the evening.
However, some experts are saying on Good Morning Britain today that we should most definitely NOT be mixing indoors at all this year as it will spread like wildfire and perhaps going for a walk (impossible with my mum) or sitting in the garden would be more appropriate (again how can you do that with elderly parents?) or having a big get together later in the spring after many elderly will have been vaccinated.
I’m now in a quandary. Not quite sure what to do. I’m concerned that having my parents and fil in our house will put them at serious risk (even though they all want to come).
I suppose we could pop in and see fil in the afternoon and see my parents later and see my sister and bil at a different day).
What are your plans for Christmas Day?

I'll be seeing my brother for our usual Christmas breakfast of bacon sandwiches. Can't remember whose turn it is to host, but as he's next door we can work that one out nearer the time.

Other than that, it'll just be me, DD, and her father. Looking forward to my first Christmas at home rather than being guilted into doing the big family thing on the grounds that my mother can't come out of the care home unless I'm on hand to help.

Nope, but that's fairly easy as we don't celebrate!

My parents have been stranded at their place in Eastern Europe since late August , but are coming back on thurs. I thought we might see them over here or at theirs briefly after they quarantine, but might now suggest we just meet distanced in their garden during xmas week (which can be accessed from side gate, unlike ours). Even my usually blase brother has said that given we are so close to them getting vaccinated (hopefully in first month or two of next year) and they are slightly vulnerable as 70 and with health conditions, let's just not chance it.

I was supposed to be seeing my DM, PIL and DB. However, DP has just tested positive so that's the end of that plan

We'll see my parents Christmas Eve & Boxing Day, and MiL on Christmas Day but she's in our bubble anyway as a single person. My parents haven't been mixing with other people or going to other houses so I feel OK about seeing them.

It'll probably just be me and DD plus DP and his DC, so our normal bubble.

This doesn't effect DPs DC seeing their Mothers family so should be ok unless the rules change significantly.

I'm waiting to here what MIL is doing before we finalise plans. My mother wants to stay isolated so we won't be seeing her.

I see your dilemma and it is heart breaking as you want to do the right thing but also don't want to regret the decision or live with any guilt and it sounds like there is potentialt guilt both ways. However, not having oen last Christmas before your mum's Alzheimers progresses is a known and definite regret... the potential of making them sick with Covid is unknown and may not happen.

If I were you, I would sit down with your children and husband and talk this through and hopefully all agree to take personal responsibility to isolate as a family between now and Christmas in order to have the grandparents over (if that is possible). I dont know about your jobs but if you are working from home, the biggest risk for covid entering your home is through your children if they have been going to school/ seeing friends. You need them on board and to take personal responsibility in order to allow their grandparents to have a happy Christmas in what has likely been a difficult and lonely year for them. If you aren't all board with this and being super careful beforehand, I would follow the experts advice and not do it. On top of an awful year, you also dont want to lose another grandparent and constantly worry/live with the knowledge that it was potentially you that did it.

We are going to have a FaceTime family meeting later and see what everyone thinks. Such a dilemma. Of course, it goes without saying that no one wants to put anyone, especially family members at risk but in all frank honesty my FIL was velcroed to MIL for the last 60 years, he feels his life is over now she is no longer with us, he lived for her and tbh he will never be the same again, leaving him on his own at Christmas seems beyond mean and as I say, my mum has Alzheimer’s and I honestly can not see that she will be good in another 12 months time and possibly may even be in care.