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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do i tell my wife?

195 replies

Bookriddle · 14/12/2020 00:17

So ive not long woke up and decided to have a midnight snack, for some reason i was craving coco pops and remembered we had a box in the cupboard!

So i have gone and opened the box up and its full of snacks(no coco pops) some of the stuff is from the weekly shopping that i thought disappears quite quickly and stuff she obviously buys here and there!

Aibu to not mention to my wife i have found her hiding place for snacks and just help myself whenever i fancy a snack!

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 14/12/2020 10:54

@WhereverIGoddamnLike

The only reason people usually have a secret stash is because they live with a greedy bastard and they never get a look in with the snacks.
This
SoupDragon · 14/12/2020 10:56

The only reason people usually have a secret stash is because they live with a greedy bastard and they never get a look in with the snacks.

Or because they are themselves a greedy bastard and don't want to share.

MaverickDanger · 14/12/2020 10:56

Definitely replace the stash - ESPECIALLY if it is part of the Christmas stash!!

SirVixofVixHall · 14/12/2020 11:00

@theThreeofWeevils

All that sugar would be very bad for your poor wife. Eat it all and run like hell. Leave the country under an assumed moustache. Gallant and misunderstood, you die alone in a watering hole now shunned by the leaders of fashion; it is secondary diabetes plus tertiary syphilis. You wheeze your last in the half-deserted Winter Garden and beg a bored waiter to take this choc-ice, this flawless choc-ice, to the spouse you cruelly abandoned as a sign that in extremis you thought of her.... She still won't forgive you, but might if pushed scatter your ashes at sea rather than in the cat litter.
This too. My stash is not secret, it is in a special tin. I have a gluten free stash as I am coeliac, so I can’t eat DHs snacks in return. He has faced the wrath of a wife with low blood sugar faced with an empty snack packet, and has learned the hard way that eating my snacks would be a pyrrhic victory.
MessAllOver · 14/12/2020 11:03

When I was little, I used to hide all the orange and strawberry creams in a pack of Roses (my favourites). I left the dubious truffles etc. for everyone else.

I never buy Roses anymore - I can't bear what they've done to the wrappers. Besides, Fortnum & Mason assorted creams are amazing! No way I'm sharing those, though....they get put in the secret stashing place Grin!

MrsToothyBitch · 14/12/2020 11:03

I wouldn't tell her, I'd top it back up immediately, buy her a lock-box for Christmas and THEN tell her. Can you trust yourself not to go truffling again between now & Christmas?

We don't really do stashes here, we tend to balance out over various snacks, but I am considering having a Christmas snacky snack stash. DP has discovered yule log. As in, the only Christmas dessert I actually like, yule log. He bloody loves it now! I am considering hiding one in my sewing bag!
DP also asked me to hide any xmas sweeties I bought pre-Dec, too. He didn't trust himself to wait otherwise! Once open season was declared, the Quality Street lasted 48hrs!

B1rthis · 14/12/2020 11:17

Nope, I think you should get inspired by The Twits... start adding an extra few stitches to her clothes so they pull in tighter. Add a bit more fluff/swadding to the cushions on her arm chair so it feels more 'cosy' there too.

endofthecorridoor · 14/12/2020 11:20

DH has a stash in the cardboard recycling bag. I know he has it and he knows I know, but apparently biscuits taste nicer secretly. He is not fat and i'm not bothered about biscuits. I buy him things for his secret stash if i'm out shopping. I don't think it needs to be made into a drama tbh. Maybe if it was whiskey but snacks are fine. Replace what you take though.

fashu · 14/12/2020 11:23

You should tell her because she will need to find a new stash. I'd be annoyed in my DH knew one of my secrets and didn't tell me that he knew.

Tinacollada · 14/12/2020 11:25

What a ridiculous load of shit

CustardySergeant · 14/12/2020 11:26

@Aprilx

I find the idea of a secret stash really weird, do people honestly do this?

I don’t know why I would hide food from my husband, if we don’t have enough snacks then we buy so that we do. We don’t hide or “steal” from each other, we share.

I feel the same. It's a very peculiar way to live and I'm surprised at the number of people who have a secret stash. I never have and never will.
NotBrigitteBardot · 14/12/2020 11:27

Definitely adding a large box of All Bran to my next shop, I’m running out of hiding places. I like to have chocolate available in case I occasionally fancy some, the rest of the family would have it all eaten in no time

hansgrueber · 14/12/2020 11:29

Revove them and see how long it takes for her to find out!

LisaHalley · 14/12/2020 11:31

make your own "secret" stash and hide it very badly. When she finds it make a joke out of it. "oh darn, i forgot to hide it"

grannyinapram · 14/12/2020 11:36

you're wife made a stupid chpise- coco pops box are not a good hiding place
get her a book on stealth for Christmas so she can improve her skills

ancientgran · 14/12/2020 11:42

The only reason people usually have a secret stash is because they live with a greedy bastard and they never get a look in with the snacks. Or an eating disorder.

ancientgran · 14/12/2020 11:43

I feel the same. It's a very peculiar way to live and I'm surprised at the number of people who have a secret stash. I never have and never will. I agree, it seems a weird way to live. I could understand it somewhere like students living in halls but not in a family home.

ancientgran · 14/12/2020 11:44

Just thought I might not get it as my husband likes the soft centres and I like the nutty chocolate so we don't eat the same snacks.

todayIdrankmilk · 14/12/2020 11:54

As somebody who has previously had a secret stash it's a very bad habit and very hard to break.

I wouldn't take her treats but I would mention it to her.

LindaEllen · 14/12/2020 11:54

@WorraLiberty

Why would anyone need to hide food?

Does she have an eating disorder or do other people eat more than their fair share, leaving her with nothing?

To be honest, we have to hide food from 17yo DSS.

We are trying to be healthier as a family, however I do like to have some snacks (like individual chocolate bars, packs of biscuits etc) for occasional use.

But, the problem is, if DSS knows they're there, he just takes them and eats them. He's not capable of 'occasional treats'. If he knows they're in the house, they're gone.

This isn't fair on me and DP, because we buy them so that we can have an occasional treat, but if DSS knows they're there, there will be nothing there for us when we want that occasional treat. So we absolutely hide it. He gets some when we have some, but he's not just helping himself whenever he feels like it - there's plenty of fruit, cereal bars, yogurt, toast .. and he's fed well. Just no need for it.

Audreyseyebrows · 14/12/2020 11:56

Leave it alone and never speak of it again.

ImnotCarolineHirons · 14/12/2020 12:11

To the posters being being all holier than thou about "it could only be disordered eating/why would anyone need a secret stash" Hmm I can only presume you do not have growing teens in your home who will devour any carb/sweet item within seconds?

It's highly likely not a sign of disordered eating, it's much more the sign of a woman fucked off with every other bugger in the house hoovering up all the nice treats before she can get any.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 14/12/2020 12:35

@ImnotCarolineHirons

To the posters being being all holier than thou about "it could only be disordered eating/why would anyone need a secret stash" Hmm I can only presume you do not have growing teens in your home who will devour any carb/sweet item within seconds?

It's highly likely not a sign of disordered eating, it's much more the sign of a woman fucked off with every other bugger in the house hoovering up all the nice treats before she can get any.

Hell yeah!
SimonJT · 14/12/2020 12:46

My partner has a secret stash of those small bars of dark chocolate from aldi, they’re in the back of a fridge pack of cola. I found them a few months ago, there were four, so I bought some spares and sometimes popped another 1/2 in there. It took him about three weeks to twig that the number of bars wasn’t going down even though he was eating them.

PlanDeRaccordement · 14/12/2020 12:47

@ImnotCarolineHirons

To the posters being being all holier than thou about "it could only be disordered eating/why would anyone need a secret stash" Hmm I can only presume you do not have growing teens in your home who will devour any carb/sweet item within seconds?

It's highly likely not a sign of disordered eating, it's much more the sign of a woman fucked off with every other bugger in the house hoovering up all the nice treats before she can get any.

Not the case. I’m almost to the end of having teens at home as #3 just left for university this year. #4 is still at home. But not that long ago, I had two teen boys and two teen girls at home. And no, they never devoured carbs/sweets in seconds. But then we never raised them to view certain foods as treats to be fought over and hidden in secret stashes. That is what is disordered about it, there should be no such thing as a food that is a treat. It is all food. Setting up a Pavlovian reward/treat behaviour in yourself is disordered and a bad attitude towards food.
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