Page 6 | Is anyone taking lockdown seriously anymore?

JKDcot · 2020-12-13T19:31:19+00:00

My mother is meant to come over for Christmas but my aunt has just let slip that she has been away this weekend staying with some friends. This is against the rules as she’s not meant to mixing households - like everyone. My husband and I are following the rules strictly and restricting our lives massively. We have a new baby and I am now extremely pissed off she would be so selfish and irresponsible and put us at risk. Am I being mean to say she’s uninvited now for Christmas? She always says she’s being careful and following the rules and I constantly hear from family members it’s all lies. She isn’t in the vulnerable category and is just bored I think and wants company. But so do we all, and it’s just not fair. What should I do?

phoenixrosehere · 14/12/2020 16:42

YANBU

It’s one thing not to be following the rules and another to be purposely lying about it, saying you are to family who are following the rules and whom you are meant to visit with them thinking you are behaving in the same way. If she were to pass it on to OP’s family, would she admit to it then or further keep up the lie?

Regardless she has been lying to you for awhile so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ban her for Christmas if it means protecting your husband and your baby.

treening · 14/12/2020 16:43

Well it isn't lockdown, so no they aren't.

WhyNotMeThough · 14/12/2020 16:46

@JillofTrades

I've had covid, I'm still getting over it. I feel really unwell still and very low.

You feel very unwell and still going to visit your kids?

Oh ffs Mumsnet. Not today. When I can.

FindHungrySamurai · 14/12/2020 16:55

Unless you had your baby this week, or you’re going to drip feed that you’ve got type 1 diabetes or your DH is sixty or something, your DM is far more vulnerable than any of you.

Xiddling · 14/12/2020 16:56

We're still following the rules and everyone I know is, thankfully.

Xiddling · 14/12/2020 16:57

It's her aunt, not her mum.

treening · 14/12/2020 17:02

I'm technically not following the rules because I'm seeing my mum and sisters when they don't live alone so don't fall into the support bubble category.

However, I pulled my son out of school in order to do this and I don't go to shops, restaurants or use public transport. I also work from home.

FindHungrySamurai · 14/12/2020 17:04

It’s not 100% clear from the OP (too many “she”s) but as I read it it’s the mum who the OP is trying to disinvite because the aunt has let slip that the mum is breaking rules.

Xiddling · 14/12/2020 17:06

ah yes, I think you're right @FindHungrySamurai

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/12/2020 17:13

S. Yorks mid 50’s.

No school mixing. Ds 26 at home doesn’t go anywhere except to gf who’s in our support bubble. Neither do his friends.

None of dd’s friends meeting up. Whole suburb is like a ghost town.

WouldBeGood · 14/12/2020 17:14

@ThornAmongstRoses I’m in Tier 3 and the outside world looks no different to how it looked this time 12 months ago.

Seriously? Absolute rubbish

Hobbesmanc · 14/12/2020 17:18

On all these tedious threads, people only technically break the rules. As if using the word technically mitigates it. There's a clear division of good rule breakers (those with terminally ill relatives, fragile MH, working from home/not eaten out since march/don't have to use public transport. And the rest of us who are bad granny killers.

I can only imagine those posters who don't know anyone who breaches rules, are either very sheltered or lied too a lot. No wonder Mum didnt tell the OP she went to see friends if this is the judginess she has to face!

I think Covid breaches are like speeding or recreational drugs or adultery. Lots of people do it- but just talk about it on MN

81Byerley · 14/12/2020 17:47

My sister in law is convinced she's following all the rules. We haven't seen anyone . We live 80 miles apart so arranged to meet half way at a garden centre café to exchange Christmas presents. She tried to persuade us to pretend we were from one household so we could sit indoors. We refused, and sat at an outside table. During the conversation she mentioned several lunches out with different people, travelling together in one car. Different neighbours and friends visiting her home .... but she really can't understand anyone who risks getting Covid by not following the rules!

StillWeRise · 14/12/2020 18:32

I think Covid breaches are like speeding or recreational drugs or adultery. Lots of people do it- but just talk about it on MN

in other words, behaviours which are either illegal or harmful/dangerous or hurtful or maybe all 3

so yes, I'm quite prepared to judge people who do those things.

tootiredtospeak · 14/12/2020 20:33

But isn't that the point.... who cares if you are judged by a stranger on the internet or your neighbour or the government for that matter. The people who genuinely love and care about you would not exclude you for a speeding ticket or adultery. I also have a terminally ill dad who refuses to isolate and says if it takes him he will be happy he spent his last months surrounded by family. I have grandparents in their late 80s who feel the same. Who am I to judge their choices maybe I should exclude my dad at xmas after all he has seen my sister and brother too. Or refuse to let my grandparents come as they have gone to a funeral this week for a 102 year old neighbour and mixed with many neighbours. No I would never do that I love these people and I don't give a flying crap what the government or anything one else thinks about that. I can easily come up with a very different set of rules that people don't follow and no one treats them like lepers. School holidays for one people take kids out against the rules and pay the fine for it. Using a mobile phone in a car probably statistically higher chance of causing death seen at least 2 people doing that today. Smoking inside their car's seen that too. People are way too caught up in proving they can stick to the rules and anyone that doesn't is to be flogged it's insane.

ImNotCutOutForThis · 14/12/2020 20:38

It wouldn't bother me tbh. But I've still seen my mum. My dad is our bubble. And still seen inlaws for childcare.
Also I have seen 1 friend weekly in my home since lockdown 1 ended..
Because if I didn't I'd be in the Priory by now. In all honesty. Without going into too much detail. So it's the risk we've all taken and happy with. None of all the above mentioned see anyone else or anything

TikTokFinger · 15/12/2020 00:40

If I stick to them, it’s accidental. Not really taking it seriously at all.

Willyoujustbequiet · 15/12/2020 00:46

I hate liars and selfish people so yanbu. I would uninvite her

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 15/12/2020 01:09

I have been following the rules and more: am CEV and would like to see my children grow up - and they for their part want me to be there so have been equally careful. They have made big sacrifices and I am not going to squander those now. So yes we keep following the rules to the letter.

Covidbegone · 15/12/2020 01:31

I was wondering the same thing earlier. I’m a bit fed up with being lectured by some family members about terrible people who break rules, and I’m being stricter with my rules than them. MIL was explaining how she stuck rigidly to the same 4 friends, BUT who are your friends bubbling with hey? In the same breath she then tells us we shouldn’t visit other family members as it’s too risky.

DC had to isolate from school recently for 2 weeks, but their sibling was fine to go in I mean how does that work?

All I can say is it’s up to you and what you feel comfortable doing and thank goodness there’s a vaccine being rolled out!

Thisseatisnotavailable · 15/12/2020 02:04

Nobody is taking it seriously at all. I work in hospitality in a Tier 2 area, it's supposed to be only the same household or support bubble are allowed inside, but pretty much everyone is just lying when you ask them. So many people obviously aren't the same household but they say they are and we're supposed to take their word for it and let them in. It's no wonder the numbers are still rising and we're now heading into Tier 3. Tomorrow is going to be hell.

mrssunshinexxx · 15/12/2020 02:11

Life is short op
Everyone is fed up of covid
Imagine if you cancelled her and this had been your last Christmas with her, don't un invite her

Newmumatlast · 15/12/2020 02:12

@tootiredtospeak

You don't say I didn't realise that at all....your Mum will still be around when Covid is a distant memory but hers will remember you excluding her at Xmas. If she was putting you at risk due to you being vulnerable then fine. If she is a good Mum then its heartless to exclude her due to your virtue signalling to some mumsnet strangers.

Fyi you dont have to be vulnerable to be put at risk. I know 3 people who arent vulnerable who have been hospitalised, one of whom it looks as though may not make it. It is serious and dangerous to assume breaches are all fine provided not vulnerable.

Newmumatlast · 15/12/2020 02:15

@tootiredtospeak

But isn't that the point.... who cares if you are judged by a stranger on the internet or your neighbour or the government for that matter. The people who genuinely love and care about you would not exclude you for a speeding ticket or adultery. I also have a terminally ill dad who refuses to isolate and says if it takes him he will be happy he spent his last months surrounded by family. I have grandparents in their late 80s who feel the same. Who am I to judge their choices maybe I should exclude my dad at xmas after all he has seen my sister and brother too. Or refuse to let my grandparents come as they have gone to a funeral this week for a 102 year old neighbour and mixed with many neighbours. No I would never do that I love these people and I don't give a flying crap what the government or anything one else thinks about that. I can easily come up with a very different set of rules that people don't follow and no one treats them like lepers. School holidays for one people take kids out against the rules and pay the fine for it. Using a mobile phone in a car probably statistically higher chance of causing death seen at least 2 people doing that today. Smoking inside their car's seen that too. People are way too caught up in proving they can stick to the rules and anyone that doesn't is to be flogged it's insane.

I mean, to be honest, you may well have a family of super spreaders there. It's about other people really isnt it. Not just ourselves.

Vinnipeg · 15/12/2020 02:50

Where I am (not in the UK, city of about 3million people) we have had very low rates of covid for the whole pandemic. Most seem to still follow the rules and downtown is extremely quiet. I get the sense that 'anti-expert' sentiments are particularly widespread in the UK.