Is anyone taking lockdown seriously anymore?

[JKDcot]

My mother is meant to come over for Christmas but my aunt has just let slip that she has been away this weekend staying with some friends. This is against the rules as she’s not meant to mixing households - like everyone.

My husband and I are following the rules strictly and restricting our lives massively. We have a new baby and I am now extremely pissed off she would be so selfish and irresponsible and put us at risk.

Am I being mean to say she’s uninvited now for Christmas? She always says she’s being careful and following the rules and I constantly hear from family members it’s all lies. She isn’t in the vulnerable category and is just bored I think and wants company. But so do we all, and it’s just not fair.

What should I do?

The U.K. has never even had a lockdown, and is not currently in lockdown.

Other countries have had proper lockdowns, but the U.K. idea of a lockdown isn't what we are all experiencing.

Yes we are taking it seriously and the people I know are too.
Why wouldn't you? Just because you've got bored, doesn't make it any less serious or easy to catch.
People in this country/at this time are so spoilt. Yes it's hard but so is dying in ICU. We have all the advantages of being able to shop online and socialise online, yet still people are prepared to endanger themselves, their families and the wider community for the sake of a christmas dinner. Our parents/grandparents generation were made of sterner stuff.

No idea what the rules are, so more than likely breaking them. No idea what the wider family are doing at the moment either.

@Callypigeon students are absorbed into your household as soon as they return home according the guidelines in England so you can still mix with two other households between 23-27th December.
I have DD just back home from university and DS coming home on 21st from a Welsh university. DM is in a bubble with us so it will be the five of us over Christmas. We are not mixing with any other households as that seems quite enough risk for us.

We are taking it seriously but fully aware that others I know aren't.

I would say to your Mum that she couldn't come, or I would meet her outdoors for a walk. She clearly is only thinking of herself (or not thinking at all).

Well if she is back today, surely she has time to isolate before she comes to you?

YADNBU OP. I’d ask her first. Give her one chance to be honest. Not because it would mean she could come, but to see what her response is and why she thinks it was OK.

The fact that you have a newborn and it would be awful if your baby or one of both of you were ill, should have been at the very front of her mind. Breaking lockdown and lying is going to have a high price for her now.

Could she test beforehand? When does she get back?
She shouldn’t have lied, I’d be upset about that. Who is she away with though? Have they all isolated?

@JKDcot my other issue would be the sacrifices you (we) had made for so many months while she is off flying her kite, to disrespect you so much to think it's ok to visit and not respect how vigilant you had been to show such disregard.

@Bourbonbiccy exactly. I went to hospital appointments alone, my husband couldn’t stay with me in hospital with our newborn. I haven’t had any help or support looking after the baby. To then waste all of that and jeopardise our health cause my mother got a bit bored and had a house party.

I would have a serious conversation with her and say if she isolates and doesn’t show any signs she can come but if she shows signs or breaks rules she’s not allowed to come.

We're taking it seriously and therefore are having Xmas alone as our family bubbles don't allow for enough people. It's absolutely doing my nut in that so few people seem to be following the rules currently. Honestly, I would tell her she was no longer invited, I can't be doing with people lying, particularly if they're about to expose you to something supposedly without your knowledge. You'd never forgive her if your baby caught covid shortly after Christmas as you'd never know if it was from her or not!

We were, but MIL and SIL came to drop presents this weekend. Husband will be working til past midnight Christmas Eve and we don't drive so won't be able to get the train over to see them in time to make the "Christmas bubble" rules so otherwise we wouldn't have seen them at all. Same with my mum, going to drop her present off next Friday as she is working over Christmas in a care home.
I know it's breaking the rules but when people work jobs that don't get days off over Christmas in order to "bubble" I don't see how it's outrageously unreasonable.

Most of my friends seem to be quite openly not following the rules - having people to visit before Xmas, going away after, meet ups... I’m sticking to the rules and not worrying about what they are doing.

A lot of people stopped taking it seriously in the summer, around the same time the Cummings fiasco was leaked. I think people were genuinely afraid throughout the spring when it was an unknown virus killing up to 1000 people a day in the UK alone. Then the numbers drastically declined thanks to the lockdown efforts and the government reopened everything, pushed the EOTHO scheme over summer and that was it really. The end of people caring, the beginning of complacency.

People get bored quite quickly. Lockdown was probably quite fun at first because it was new and we’d never been in that sort of situation before. Now it’s just boring, it’s been 9 months and everyone just wants to get back to normal.

Just ask her to stick to the rules the two weeks before Xmas - well from tomorrow it’s 10 days realistically isn’t it.

Most ppl I know are sticking to the rules for the most part, as in I know a friend is supporting her family member with additional needs even though she isn’t technically his bubble, I also know someone who sees her boyfriend in a car outside their workplace - they work together but don’t live together (he doesn’t go to her house) but what difference is it to be in a small office to being in a car).....

I agree with an above PP - for some it’s incredibly difficult to stick to for a multitude of reasons. I am trying not to judge others because it’s been almost a year of this and not everyone has the built in support and capacity to ride it out alone...

She’s your mum, if she dropped down dead next year you’d be pretty fucking angry at yourself for banning her over Xmas.

She’s your mum, if she dropped down dead next year you’d be pretty fucking angry at yourself for banning her over Xmas.

This ☝🏻, get a bloody grip op.

Thank you @choirmumoftwo that’s a bit clearer! I’m on my own, I class my son as my “support bubble” and so I think we might be ok then. It’s all made up cobblers anyway to my mind! 😳

Cases have gone up a lot around here. We are taking it seriously, only seeing parents outdoors and not having people in our house

• meeting for walks etc. I don’t want my parents being anxious about meeting us as we’ve been doing as we like.

Yes. I've got to put up with just my dc's over Xmas. Not been to the gym or restaurants.

Not worth seeing my family and spreading the virus though.

@tootiredtospeak

If you arent vulnerable yourselves that's is unreal...SHE IS YOUR MUM

Even if they just get a relatively mild does it could be horrible trying to look after a baby when ill. I would be trying to avoid it

I don’t know anyone that’s taking it seriously anymore. Non of my family are and not many friends if any are anymore.

No

I can see around me, people having parties, guests, sleepovers right left and centre.

Then we have the hypocritical "We need to take the children out of school before Christmas" whilst none of them is planning on isolating the poor sods at home properly - but take them outside, shopping etc. instead.

I have no words!! She's your mum

God no. Gave up ages ago. Just make a bubble of close friends and family who you see indoors. Works wonders for MH.

What's the point of being holed up at home? Govt hasn't a clue what they are doing, lockdown isn't working...