To be angry my family just don't seem to care about mixing?

[hellymissy]

Turns out my 60 year old mom has been collecting my nephews aged 6 and 13 from school most days - both of which obviously are mixing With lots of kids.

Whilst she isn't in the worst health she has a mild underlying condition.

I told my brother my mom should be doing this and he seemed to get angry at me mentioning and said as mom isn't objecting he doesn't see what the issue is.

I've approached this with my mom and she said it's fine.

Do I just leave them to it? I don't want my mom contracting corona and feel she's getting pressured into it?

AIBU and should I just keep my mouth shut?

See I'm a very fit 54 and don't see 60 as elderly and vulnerable! Also I have properly vulnerable 80 something parents for context. If she's fit at 60 I wouldn't be too concerned.
But I sense there's a subtext here that you may think someone is being a CF over using your mum.

You say she doesn’t have to pick them up, and that’s true, but childcare issues are a huge problem for many families and if your mum didn’t help it could cause significant difficulties for your brother and his wife who probably need to work. Could you offer to help with childcare instead as it’s you who wants to stop your mum doing it?

If she gets it and anything happens to her I'll be very very angry

Angry at who? Your brother? Even though your DM hasn't objected to doing it and has weighed up the risk for herself? Mkay.

YABU. She’s a grown adult and can make her own decisions; it’s really nothing to do with you.

You say it is your business because you’d be left without a mother, but that’s you being selfish - she can live her life how she wants and assess possible risks as she sees fit.

It’s not up to you to try to police her.

I agree op but
Many grandparents wouldn't want to not see them for potentially years.
I guess babysitting may reduce the gc contacts
You can see why the spread is so much.
If even 1/8 kids are seeing grandparents
Doing their hobbies

1-2% of kids currently have covid

Has it occurred to you that she wants to see her grandchildren?

But you selfishly want her locked up.

My mum would tell me to butt the hell out of her life, it's her choice and none of my business. She would be absolutely right to tell me that.
When on earth did we decide that out our own adult parents don't get a say in what the hell they do?

Honestly, many if the opinions here are just illogical - my nephews both can walk home from school so why would anyone choose to put themselves in a position of contracting COVID?

To the poster who said 60 isn't vulnerable, the stats have proven over 50 risk significantly increases. That's why vaccine is getting roled out to over 50.

I actually just think many posters here feel guilty and are in denial probably about asking their parents to help work childcare. Because what I'm saying is not as weird as some posters are making it.

And whoever asked if I had kids or had nothing to do with this thread.

And someone mentioning I'm being selfish and maybe she wants to see her grandchildren - that's the reason this thing is spreading because people feel entitled to do things their own way.

Sorry but life could be much worse than not seeing your grandkids, I'd love to family and friends but I know it's not sensible so I don't

@hellymissy

Honestly, many if the opinions here are just illogical - my nephews both can walk home from school so why would anyone choose to put themselves in a position of contracting COVID?

To the poster who said 60 isn't vulnerable, the stats have proven over 50 risk significantly increases. That's why vaccine is getting roled out to over 50.

I actually just think many posters here feel guilty and are in denial probably about asking their parents to help work childcare. Because what I'm saying is not as weird as some posters are making it.

Because your mum is an adult, and has obviously decided that the risk is worth it for that time with your nephews. That's all there is to it, it's her decision.

@hellymissy

And whoever asked if I had kids or had nothing to do with this thread.

It’s relevant to whether you understand the consequences of what you’re expecting to be an easy choice. It could explain why you are so focused on only one aspect of this situation.

Your nephews might be able to walk home, but a six year old can’t do that unaccompanied and not all 13 year olds can be expected to take responsibility for all six year olds. Who would be there for them when they got home even if they did walk?

Childcare is allowed and at 60 she is still working age the same as teachers, childminders etc. unless she has an underlying condition then I don’t see the issue and it is her decision to make.

@Angel2702 she does have an underlying condition

None of your business whatsoever! If I was your brother I'd be telling you exactly that.

@hellymissy

Honestly, many if the opinions here are just illogical - my nephews both can walk home from school so why would anyone choose to put themselves in a position of contracting COVID?

To the poster who said 60 isn't vulnerable, the stats have proven over 50 risk significantly increases. That's why vaccine is getting roled out to over 50.

I actually just think many posters here feel guilty and are in denial probably about asking their parents to help work childcare. Because what I'm saying is not as weird as some posters are making it.

A six year old can not walk home from school alone and school would not allow them to leave without an adult collecting them.

I assume that is why people have asked if you have children because expecting a six year old to walk home is far more of a risk than the risk to your mother in collecting him.

She may not have to do these things but maybe she WANTS to.

Honestly you sound a little dramatic. I'm sure your mother is aware of the risks yes?

Blimey I have BAME colleagues with underlying health conditions still cracking on with their work in the NHS every day seeing patients
They aren't hiding at home wrapped up in cotton wool because they are sensible grown adults who can actually risk assess sensibly.
And no OP you haven't touched a nerve you're just sounding deeply unpleasant

I completely agree with you OP. Similar situation here (and two schools!) If there's another option then it's utterly selfish of your brother.

Sounds more like you resent your brother than anything to do with your mum.

I actually just think many posters here feel guilty and are in denial probably about asking their parents to help work childcare. Because what I'm saying is not as weird as some posters are making it.

Nope. I’m not using my parents as childcare.

As I said, you say it is your business because you’d be left without a mother, but that’s you being selfish - she can live her life how she wants and assess possible risks as she sees fit.

This is none of your business.

Good grief you clearly don't have children if you think a 6 year old can walk home!! We wouldn't even let our 8 year old walk home without an adult!

Get a grip and allow your Mother to make decisions as an adult. Have you not heard of allowing people autonomy?

My Mum is ECV and still picks up my nieces and nephews at times - which she's perfectly within her rights to do as an adult with capacity.

Oh and no, not using family for childcare either so no guilt there

And no OP you haven't touched a nerve you're just sounding deeply unpleasant

Concerned for her mum; not unpleasant.

I actually just think many posters here feel guilty and are in denial probably about asking their parents to help work childcare.

Nope. Don't even have kids.