To hope these parents are ashamed of their boys tonight?

[Dilbertian]

Today my Y9 ds was taunted by boys making the Nazi salute at him. This, after a couple of weeks of 'Dirty Jew'.

If these are your sons, is this what you want for them? Is this the attitude you would like them to have to their fellow human beings? Do you feel proud of them? Would you like them to be treated this way? What are you saying to them tonight? What do you think the Head of Year should say to them tomorrow?

What do you think your sons should do next?

Or maybe - meh, it's just bantz, boys will be boys.

I would go to the police. The school needs to take it seriously. I think education is the right way forward, but a chat with a community police officer would be a good way forward, to emphasise how serious this is.

The school needs to look at its anti-bullying policies.

The punishment could certainly be tailored to be something constructive, more than exclusion or suspension. The police might have some ideas about that,

I would wonder though about where they picked this up from. It would be really important that the parents were informed and on board with working with this.

If your child is standing on a street corner hurling racist abuse at innocent people - you have failed as a parent.

No room for discussion - you have failed. You failed to raise a decent human being who treats all with respect.

Have a word with the little racist and keep your fingers crossed that they’re not the victims of similar abuse in the future.

I am so sorry. School must take this extremely seriously. It is a hate crime. I fear this for my daughter, she is 7, when will she have to lose her innocence. Hope you are having a lovely evening together OP x

How horrible! I think they should be suspended. and read the riot act about this being a hate-crime. Perhaps also be required to write an essay about antisemitism and the harm that it has done over the years.

Holy shit how can you even suggest people will think of this a boys will be boys (people also need to stop saying that as that is nothing but an excuse for bad behavior! !)

He needs to report this to school. Police and parents of the kids.... however be prepared it could also get worse after reporting it (but still DO report it)
And you need to prepare him that this is not the first or the last time this will happen as the world is full of sickos. And teach him so proper comebacks and other strategies.

The school will punish the boys with internal exclusion, which will include some form of Holocaust education

Given that incidents happened before, were reported at the time and yet still continue, do you trust the school to deliver this?

I understand and respect your wish for them to be educated rather than expelled, and am so very sorry this is happening at all, but I'm just wondering if they're treating it with the seriousness it merits

[quote rabbitheadlights]@banditoshipman

Bit harsh! Obviously your ds behaviour was totally wrong and he needed to understand that but calling him bully for a couple of days when he was 6 is a bit grim!

NO not really an that attitude is why these things happen, my DD ended up self harming because of relentless vile bullies like these. That's grim![/quote]
You basically bullied your own child, great parenting

Of course bullying needs stopping and of course the effects can be horrific but that doesn’t mean you should do that to a 6 year old!

In Ops case the police should be called

@mbosnz

If these were my sons, I don't know whose wrath they should fear the most. Mine, the head teachers, their fathers, their grandparents, their friends.

Most probably mine.

And I would feel so, inutterably stink that any child of mine thought this attitude was legitimate, let alone behaviour.

Aroha (love) to your DS.

I know it doesn't seem it sometimes, but far more people condemn this behaviour and would stand with your son, than not.

I think if it were my daughter she'd prefer to be in school with an angry year head than at home with me. For something like this the consequences would be long lasting.

I completely disagree with those saying "go to the Police". It's all very well saying that, but the police really have got far too much to deal with, and this would just be a box-ticking exercise for them. What you actually want is for your son not to be on the receiving end of vile racism. That is what actually matters. School is the only way to achieve this.
Not true. My dgs was the victim of homophobic bullying with an element of racism by pupils in his year. The school did nothing because it was online and took place out of school. The police, on the other hand, took it very seriously.

I think if it were my daughter she'd prefer to be in school with an angry year head than at home with me. For something like this the consequences would be long lasting.

Same.

I wasn't even sure if this post was real and or someone just trying to drum up MN indignation?

@user8888 AS my user name. Have a look at the type of things I post.

As someone who works with another group of people who are regularly attacked and insulted, I am astonished at your attitude.

I cannot believe your school are not dealing with this more severely. This is a very serious incident indeed and it has been going on for a while. At my school a pupil had parents called in immediately, then fixed term exclusion, then internal seclusion. This was for 1 racist remark directed at another pupil - completely unacceptable and so was deal with with the seriousness it deserves. Your school are taking this far too lightly. I wouldn’t be happy with this level of punishment and would be contacting the police and the chair of governors to make a complaint.

@rabbitheadlights

As for whoever it was that said they called their six-year old "Bully" for several days: this makes me feel quite sick.

Why? He had humiliated and upset another child repeatedly and daily calling him horrible names. He needed to understand how that boy felt. As I mentioned further on my own DD ended up self harming because of bullies. I will not accept that from any of my DC. The softly softly approach doesn't always work

Oh dear, no. That's like saying that you should bite a toddler to show them that biting hurts.

All you do by branding a small child "bully" is that you become the bully. Behaving like that towards young children doesn't make them "understand" anything. They're not old enough to make the link between their behaviour and yours in that way.

Six-year-olds are, of course, old enough to be told very clearly that "we don't say unkind things about people who are [insert whatever "difference" that a six-year-old might notice about a classmate]. It could perhaps be backed up with relevant stories which involve children who are [insert difference].

I am sorry that your DD ended up self-harming because of bullies (mine did, too). But the bullies would have been less likely to become bullies if their parents had stepped in earlier with positive education. I think a child who is branded a bully (and I can't get over the fact that six is very, very young to be given that kind of label - though I presume it's because you were so upset about your DD) may well end up living up to the label.

Tell the head

The bullying will not get worse because the kids involved will face serious consequences . I bet they will become very unpopular amongst peers too

They need to learn a hard lesson

Dreadful.

They should be made to sit through photographs of the people who emerged from the concentration camps. Taught what happened. I feel disgust for the people who did this and anyone who either supports or denies it.

Give your son an extra big hug.

I know your DS is loath to make a big thing of this, but I would call the police directly if I were you. This is not just a school matter.

Your DS is very likely not the first victim of the Nazi salute boys and unless serious action is taken he won't be the last. They learned this at home so nobody can expect any backup from that quarter.

The school will take you a lot more seriously if you let them know the police are involved.

I’ve heard this sort of behaviour is worst amongst immigrant children.. Intolerance against Jews is rife in a lot of Eastern European countries

Brefugee: Fucking hell - any excuse to be racist, eh?

Sadly this is my family’s experience, too. Massive growths of right wing/twisted nationalist support in Eastern Europe, heck just in Europe, right up to European President’s.

Family and friends have felt unsafe and left their homelands due to anti-semitism. Again.

And I agree, the Police have always been good in any incident I know of. Also report to CST for their figures.

That is such a mild punishment - really inadequate

Sorry, I missed your post about the internal exclusion.

You absolutely must go to the police.

Your ideals are admirable, but the outcome of the exclusion will not be the one you hope for. It will be a case of 'Y##s made us do Holocaust education'. I very strongly suspect the boys will laugh at the educational component and resent the very mild punishment.

You might well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.

oh and pp complaining the OP isn't here: it's the first night of Hanukah, she's probably doing better things.

Indeed we have. We have been lighting the first candle of 44 that we will light over the next 8 days, celebrating how we stood up against state-sponsored bullying.

I agree speak to the police it is a disgrace
Your poor DS.
If it was my DS or DD is revert back to olden times get the brush out.
The thing is some parents don't care what their DC are up to they'll excuse bad behaviour at all costs.
I'm sorry the school is useless..

@phineasRedux you may well be right that I handled it wrongly and/or because of what happened to DD.

I assure you it did no lasting damage and came with numerous conversations/discussions and even hugs and kisses.

DS is 12 now and is honestly one of the most considerate people you could meet. Ironically he has been on the receiving end of bullying himself this year.

We’ve had a couple of incidents which happened outside of school where we reported abuse and taunting to the police. One of our DC has LDs. They treated it as a hate crime each time. They had a big word and it really shook up the youngsters involved and no more abuse directed at my DC. Being visited at home by the police can work brilliantly esp involving the parents if they are half decent parents.

Straight to the police, school won't want to do much if anything because it will go on their Ofsted report.

@Puzzledandpissedoff

The school will punish the boys with internal exclusion, which will include some form of Holocaust education

Given that incidents happened before, were reported at the time and yet still continue, do you trust the school to deliver this?

I understand and respect your wish for them to be educated rather than expelled, and am so very sorry this is happening at all, but I'm just wondering if they're treating it with the seriousness it merits

Oh the school will carry it out - but has it been effective?