To ask about your worst CF MIL stories?

[MessyMummy15]

I'm actually very lucky to have a lovely mother in law now but my ex's mum was something else!

Once when I had to move in with her temporarily for a couple of week. I had taken my first shower in the house. Afterwards she came to find me and frogmarched me to the bathroom telling me that she doesn't like the shower curtain getting wet and to fold it back when I'm showering which is already 🤔
The next time I had a shower I did as she asked and then asked her where I could find a mop / towel to clean the water on the floor (since you know... there's no shower curtain) she had the biggest flip out when she discovered there was a smal puddle on the floor and the bathroom mat was a bit wet.
She also told me that I wasn't allowed to use the towels as they was for display? (Wasn't going to they was about a million years old)
She proceeded to tell my ex that I was trying to destroy the house. Baffles me to this day how she washed??

That woman has made me sooo thankful for the MIL I have now!

What's your CF MIL stories? The crazier the better!!

@Littlegoth

I’m really lucky. My mil is the best.

My husband’s though ... not so much.

Ha! Similar here.

My MIL and I have finally started to bond after 20 years after she came on holiday with us in the summer. I had been dreading it, but she was brilliant. We've got on well since (she lives 2 hours away so I've only seen her once since then).

My mother on the other hand. She's a toxic narcissist and I've been NC for three years. My DH has actually been NC with her for five years after she stayed in our house for the week we were on holiday (she lives at the opposite end of the country so it was a chance for her and her DP to have a holiday too with free accommodation). We told her that she was welcome to everything in the fridge and the cupboards, but could she leave the freezer stuff as we'd just sorted through it and planned to use some of it as soon as we got back so that we didn't have to do a shop immediately.
We left the house at 4am to drive to Cornwall. She rang me at 11am to ask if she could have the pork chops from the freezer. She was told no and the reason was reiterated.
She then bombarded us with texts and phonecalls every day of our week long holiday (our only one of the year), becoming increasingly abusive and telling us that we were disgraceful and that when she stayed with her DBro, he let her eat anything she wanted. We were accused of being tight because the pork chops were yellow stickered, so they didn't cost that much in the first place. When I ignored her texts, she started texting DH instead. She was gone by the time we got back and our key was with a friend. They went down in family legend as the 'fucking pork chops'. DH hasn't set eyes on her or spoken to her since that week.
I personally went NC after she had a row with my 32 year old brother (who lives nearish her, and nowhere near me) because he had decided to attend a funeral that she didn't approve of him going to. I got home from work, turned on my phone and had multiple messages from her blaming me for his decision, accusing me of manipulating him, and telling me that she could no longer be called 'Nanny' by my children as I was so disrespectful of her. She also told my SIL that my nephew was the only grandchild that felt real to her.
However if you hear her side of the story, I am the terrible daughter who took her grandchildren away. She didn't mean what she said and I'm unreasonable not to forgive her after she said sorry.
The woman is batshit.

Not so much "bad MIL" as "odd MIL".

I lived with my first boyfriend in a town he came from and I went to uni in. my family were a long way away. After 6 months living together our landlord evicted us and sold the house very speedily. We moved in with his parents as a stop gap. Ended up being 2 years and in the 2 years we were there his DM spoke to me about 3 times. I paid rent every month, which she negotiated with my EX before I moved in. I would leave that in "her drawer" every month. She had a drawer filled with stacks of cash and a book. The book would have her incomings and outgoings in it and the cash was all assigned for bills or mortgage or holidays etc. Any money she lent her children would be written in the book and crossed off or ammended when they paid it back. So my rent would go in that drawer. One of the only times she spoke to me was when she asked if I had put the correct rent in as £20 was missing. I said I had and it turns out it was her 13 year old son that had taken it. Why he would take just £20 from my envelope though when there was thousands in piles in that drawer at any given time I dont know. She worked during the day 9am-5pm in a call centre and then in the evenings she managed a bar 6pm-11pm. She would even eat her dinner at the bar. All weekends were spent there and any time she had off they would be off on holiday. Her DH didnt work so I saw him all the time and he was nice enough, just pretty useless. He would go to "help her" in the evenings (drink at the end of the bar). For birthdays and Christmas (when i would go home for the week) she would give me a card with $100 in it, the same as her son got. It was very odd. Eventually I told him I wanted to move home. We booked a van for the following month and, when the time came we loaded the van and I left. In that month she never spoke to me and we didnt say goodbye. I just left a thank you card and bunch of flowers on the dining room table.

ExMIL split with her live in boyfriend just before Christmas and told us, tearfully, she’d be alone. We cancelled our plans to go to my parents which meant they’d just have each other, they were devastated but MIL going there was out of the question (she refused to travel that far) and we couldn’t leave MIL completely alone.

Anyway, we spent a fortune on food, drink, decorations and presents. We expected her at ten am, after many panicked phone calls wondering where she was, she turned up, empty handed, not even a selection box for the kids, at one o’clock, with a random bloke in tow who she informed us was her “new friend”, John.

We pretty much sat straight down to lunch, MIL and John chain smoked continuously through the meal, balancing their lit cigs on the side of the plate to take a mouthful. Inevitably they fell off, burning holes in my new table cloth. As soon as the last bite had gone down, they announced they had to leave as they were off to a friends for a party. I didn’t even get a thank you, much less an offer to help with the washing up.

ExH did nothing, in fact he yelled at me after they’d gone for daring to say their behaviour had been anything less than exemplary, and said my parents were as bad because they hadn’t sent the presents for the kids over to open on Christmas Day (they wanted to see them open them when we visited on Boxing Day)

Why did you allow her to smoke at the table?

My MIL is genuinely lovely. My own mother is a nightmare, forced me into aborting me and DHs first child as I still lived with her at the time, cried and told everyone it was my fault she had to quit her job at the hostipal because she couldn’t cope after I lost a multiple pregnancy late on and made it all about herself and still does years later, used to turn up at me and DHs first home demanding to know why we had friends round etc. We moved 400 miles away from her and she told everyone my DH had forced me to take “her babies” my DC away from her, and I don’t regret it. She’s full on bat shit crazy sometimes.

The only time I've ever gotten annoyed at her was when I had asked her to look after the kids at my house. This was because she had other relatives stopping, who's kids had the chicken pox. I was met with "But they aren't contagious anymore, everything has scabbed over." And so they went to hers as I felt I couldn't really say no, I needed to work and had no one else. Yeah, 2 weeks later both my kids looked like something out of a medical textbook

Not so annoyed that you turned down free childcare though!

Mine is .....tricky.

Makes cutting comments about everything. When we went out for dinner when I was newly pregnant and my DH went to speak to someone at the bar, she went into a lengthy monologue about how lovely, supportive and clever his ex was, and how another girlfriend had been "a lawyer actually".

When I had flu and she came to stay, I was breastfeeding when I could, and DH was dealing with a toddler and newborn. She went out to get her nails done when he asked for help.

She took her dog to stay when I asked if she could leave him somewhere else this time, as I am allergic and we were planning a home birth.

We were talking about genes and I said "oh I thought one of my 4 would have blue eyes like me" as they are all brown eyed. Her - "I MUCH prefer brown eyes though, don't you?"

One of my toddlers wanted to sleep in with us when we stayed in a holiday house.I made up a little bed on the ground with the inflatable mat we had brought, as I thought that would happen...some kids are more needy at night than others! And she stomped about saying how ridiculous that was, why on earth were we doing that, now the other kids would want to sleep in with us too..me, mildly, "well, that's ok with us as well." And she lost her shit. It was perplexing. Why the fk did she care?

Just stuff like that, constantly. I used to be hurt, but 15 years in I'm over it!

I used to work away from home a lot and I was so grateful for the help and support in being there for when my ex and I wouldn't be at home after school. The bit of housework she did was a huge bonus and I always showed my gratitude for everything she did. One evening I went in my bedside cabinet draw where I had a collection of small Ann Summers dolphin vibrators. There was probably about 20 batteries in there as when i was in the middle of a fidget, I would put new batteries in and chuck the old ones back in the drawer to sort out later. My jaw hit the floor when I noticed the drawer had been 'tidied up'. All the dead batteries had gone! There a bank coin bag in there with a little handwritten note saying "These batteries all work". I was lost for words until I told my brother about it the next day. His response was "How did she test them to see which ones worked?"

She kicked off and ruined my first night out of hospital with my daughter, We didn't get home till the evening and I needed to tidy up for the midwife coming the next morning so asked her to wait until the following afternoon to come over. My stepdad and Mum drove me home and my Mum helped me in with my bags and settled the baby in the moses basket while I unpacked. MIL was fuming about this (she lives across the street) and sent my partner a stream of angry messages about me then when I confronted her she told me "I don't owe YOU an apology, I said it to him and he's my son". She then kept turning up unannounced (sometimes with friends), often staying for hours even when I had a friend there who I wanted to catch up with. Oh and she once burped the baby and held her over my rug so she sicked all over it t then she mocked me for getting stressed about mess.

I got sick of her behaviour after a few months and we no longer speak as she refused to take any responsibility for her behaviour.

@spottyrainbow I was lost for words until I told my brother about it the next day

i cant imagine telling my brother i had a set of vibrators.

My ex’s Mum was a total dick. She lived half way across the world (thank God) but came to visit us once. It was a big deal because she didn’t have much money and she’d saved up for a few years to buy the plane tickets. She stayed with us because she couldn’t afford a hotel.

She was so kind to my face, I thought she really liked me and I felt happy about it after hearing endless horror MIL stories. Once she returned home, however, she sent a lengthy email to my ex about how much she disliked me. She didn’t like my Yorkshire accent, didn’t like the fact I’m an Atheist (even though I explained my family are religious so I don’t judge and I’m no Christopher Hitchens), she didn’t like the fact I made ex make hot drinks because that is not a male role within a household. Honestly, the list went on... Think she just about picked me apart like a pack of hyenas savaging a corpse. I felt pretty relieved she wasn’t a permanent MIL.

@Aposterhasnoname so glad he’s your EX!

BlueCheckedTowel**
I didn't think twice about telling him

Of course, about a week before Christmas she sends FIL round to announce that she didn't feel like doing Christmas so I would have to take over. Cue an insane week trying to buy all the food, tidy our mid-renovations house building site, and find someone to install the cooker. In the end, a kind engineer felt sorry for me and came late on Christmas Eve to do it. Why did you agree? I'd have suggested she booked a meal out if she didn't feel like cooking it herself. I certainly wouldn't do it with only a week's notice; unless it was an emergency (like when my Dad died a week before Christmas and we invited my Mum to stay with us)

When my husband told MIL I had postnatal depression (diagnosed by the doctor that day) and she said to him "Oh she's probably just having a bad day".

I could add more but life's too short.

FIL couldn’t understand why I didn’t just “bat away” my depression with happy thoughts. Because it worked so well for him

MIL couldn’t understand why I was upset when my grandad died....”he was only your grandad, not your dad”

MIL wanted to know what I do with my bikini line....she asked over dinner. Although that pales into insignificance as she asked BIL’s friends (newly engaged) what contraception they used. Again, over dinner.

DS1 was poorly when he arrived - all she was interested in was whether he was going to be disabled.

Actually, that’s wasn’t the only thing she was interested in....she wanted to know if I’d been stitched

She’s completely and utterly out for herself - selfish to the core. When her kids were little she’d sit and have her dinner even if the kids were crying with hunger - she had to eat first. Couldn’t understand why I wasn’t the same

That’s just the tip of the iceberg....I’ll never understand how DH turned out to be comparatively normal

Preteen ds gained revenge on my ils unsuitable table conversation by mentioning his newly acquired pubes!! Thought mil was going to choke on her food!

@sueelleker

Of course, about a week before Christmas she sends FIL round to announce that she didn't feel like doing Christmas so I would have to take over. Cue an insane week trying to buy all the food, tidy our mid-renovations house building site, and find someone to install the cooker. In the end, a kind engineer felt sorry for me and came late on Christmas Eve to do it. Why did you agree? I'd have suggested she booked a meal out if she didn't feel like cooking it herself. I certainly wouldn't do it with only a week's notice; unless it was an emergency (like when my Dad died a week before Christmas and we invited my Mum to stay with us)

It was a long time ago in a small town @sueelleker back in the days when shops closed at midday on Christmas Eve and didn't open until the day after Boxing Day and restaurants didn't open on Christmas Day (at least not outside of cities).

Before she changed her mind, ExMIL had also invited my parents and DS's godparents from abroad who had flights booked and rooms booked in a B&B... owned and run by the ILs. The B&B was actually closed for the winter season although they still charged them full rate, despite having invited them!

If I hadn't hosted, I would have missed out on seeing my family and everyone's plans would have fallen apart. It was the best solution and my DM helped on Christmas Eve and the day.

Actually, I hadn't thought about that dimension of CFery. I did all the work and paid for Christmas but she made £100s profit from the guests!

I repeat what I said earlier - some people are just horrible and also happen to be mother in laws.

Absolutely, my MIL is a shitty person and just happens to be my MIL

My sister is an awful MIL to her son's wife (he tells me the crazy things she does and I have seen it first hand).
Yet to her daughter and son in law, she is a delight.

She is not fond of me as me as I support the son (my nephew) and his gorgeous kind wife.
No idea why my sister has turned out to be such a bitch.

My Gmil, mil were hard work ao naturally my sils are hard work so the apples didn't fall too far from the tree. Being a bitch is learned behaviour in this family, they think if you're kind & polite you're weak.

When my Mum died aged only 55 last year, MIL seemingly ignored it- no sympathy card or message, no offer to help with the kids etc. She turned up at the funeral and then sat in the seats which were labelled as reserved for family. I asked if she could move so that my elderly great aunt could sit down, and she refused and claimed that she was family and entitled to sit there!

@MessyMummy15

More stories about that same exMIL keep popping into my head

When I had recently moved into her house I politely declined dinner one evening as I had already evening and she took it the wrong way. From then on she would bring my ex hot steaming full roast dinners etc up to the room and never bring me any dinners because "I was obviously too good for her food" I lived off crisps for the 9 months I was living there until I ended up in hospital severely ill and deficient in every victims you can think of. 😒

And your exH didn't share with you?! no wonder you divorced him

I’m never sure if mine realised she was horrid to me. We live 300 miles away and she made every visit uncomfortable and unpleasant (stuff with food, stopping me sleeping, comments about weight etc) but when we were leaving she would be shocked I didn’t want to stay longer, or more often.
I suspect she was sad me and DH are happy. Her marriage wasn’t (if you ask DH they were, they really weren’t, they hardly spoke for years). When DH told I was pregnant she wasn’t happy as ‘she didn’t want more GC’. What she wanted was DH to move back home for company for her.
She was much more supportive of BIL/SIL I think because they also aren’t really happy with each other.

The worst thing she did though was encouraging SIL to think we were financially responsible for them. BIL earns much more money but they spend like water and are always in financial trouble. She was always winding SIL to say that we should be contributing (we are frugal, but we save for nice holidays, cars etc). There was an incident where she suggested we should pay for them to go on holiday as we were rubbing their noses in it by going abroad so often. Bizarre. SIL still thinks that, they are currently annoyed as we aren’t paying towards their children’s uni fees. They would never expect to pay towards ours though..

@MessyMummy15

More stories about that same exMIL keep popping into my head

When I had recently moved into her house I politely declined dinner one evening as I had already evening and she took it the wrong way. From then on she would bring my ex hot steaming full roast dinners etc up to the room and never bring me any dinners because "I was obviously too good for her food" I lived off crisps for the 9 months I was living there until I ended up in hospital severely ill and deficient in every victims you can think of. 😒

Good thing they were crisps; I was beginning to think you had over-egged the pudding.