To ask about your worst CF MIL stories?

[MessyMummy15]

I'm actually very lucky to have a lovely mother in law now but my ex's mum was something else!

Once when I had to move in with her temporarily for a couple of week. I had taken my first shower in the house. Afterwards she came to find me and frogmarched me to the bathroom telling me that she doesn't like the shower curtain getting wet and to fold it back when I'm showering which is already 🤔
The next time I had a shower I did as she asked and then asked her where I could find a mop / towel to clean the water on the floor (since you know... there's no shower curtain) she had the biggest flip out when she discovered there was a smal puddle on the floor and the bathroom mat was a bit wet.
She also told me that I wasn't allowed to use the towels as they was for display? (Wasn't going to they was about a million years old)
She proceeded to tell my ex that I was trying to destroy the house. Baffles me to this day how she washed??

That woman has made me sooo thankful for the MIL I have now!

What's your CF MIL stories? The crazier the better!!

@user1471565182

These threads drive me mad. Your mother in law can insist she saves your money for you, but its your money. Just dont give it to her surely?

Yes wonderful advice - I'll rewind the clock now and do just that.

@Daleksatemyshed

a@innercitysumo do you still see her? I couldn't, not after the fusss about your Nan's funeral, that's just awful!

I can't write the worst stuff on here - but yes we do. Not much thankfully

Just for balance, I love my current MIL and always got on with my BF's mothers when I was younger but my exMIL was a horror.

She insisted on hosting Christmas every year until PFB's first Christmas. It was the one year that I didn't suggest we could host Christmas as I didn't want to try to juggle breastfeeding a baby and cooking for 12, which I couldn't anyway as my new kitchen and oven were waiting to be installed in the new year and I was using a temporary mini oven thing and a microwave.

Of course, about a week before Christmas she sends FIL round to announce that she didn't feel like doing Christmas so I would have to take over. Cue an insane week trying to buy all the food, tidy our mid-renovations house building site, and find someone to install the cooker. In the end, a kind engineer felt sorry for me and came late on Christmas Eve to do it.

I invited MIL to come Christmas shopping and go for afternoon tea with me and my DM. She wanted to know what we had bought DS so I told her his main gift was a sit and ride car. She then refused to tell us what she was planning to buy (she made it quite clear she hadn't bought it yet but had decided what to get) as she wanted it to "be a surprise".

Come Christmas day, the ILs arrive late while I am cooking lunch and MIL makes a big hoohaa about she can't wait until after lunch (when we usually open gifts) to give DS his Christmas present so I give in and let her give him one present to open.

You've guessed it... A sit and ride car.

She also made lovely BIL cry, tried to sabotage lunch by turning off the second oven I was using to cook the roast potatoes and putting the sprouts on to boil an hour before lunch, then raised a toast to St Michael for the lovely lunch because I bought a pack of ready made stuffing balls in M&S instead of adding boiling water to Paxo like she does.

My first Mil is lovely, was maid of honour at her wedding after I split with ex we are still very good friends.

Second ex mil - where shall I start? -

I invited her to a party ( to bond) she bought round her grandkids and I ended up babu sitting and she went to party I invited her too.

She got upset when ex bought be an Easter egg with edible gold leaf on. Because he hadn’t bought one for her.

She tried to make me think ex was having an affair - he wasn’t it was a secret holiday he had planned.

She told her grandson he could be at the hospital when I was in labour if he was good in school. He was 14.

When I told her she wasn’t even invited there was a big fall out and she sat in the hospital cat park chain smoking when she heard of some one of gone on Labour - constantly ringing dh and telling him to let her in the Labour ward.

She went on holiday for six weeks to Spain then asked to borrow £1000 so she could set her business up two days before she was due to open. We said no as we needed it for a new boiler - massive argument.

She invited us round for family roast dinner then on the morning asked us to get a leg of lamb. We did. When she served up we noticed that people had *roast beef and our lamb’ - we just had lamb.

When dh and I fell out pre wedding she tried to buy the car he’d bought for me off him. The day he came back home she called round ( she must have been parked up waiting for him as she walked in 10 mins after him) and asked for the keys to my car in front of me I’d already hidden it

She cried tears of sadness at my wedding, wore sunglasses to hide her eyes and wouldn’t speak to me.

She stole my Dds (5) bridesmaid head band and wore it all day.

She caused a massive family argument the day after my wedding before we all came home and I havnt spoken to her since. Three years ago.

She was a huge factor in the breakdown of mine and ex relationship and if I ever get in to a relationship again - their family will be deciding factor if I stick around.

My MIL has asked we gift her a canvas print of our 3 DC for Christmas this year. She wants to be able to look at their beautiful faces everyday. We live in the next street and I could count on one hand how many times she has visited them. She wouldn't be none the wiser if the DC on the canvas belonged to a random stranger.

We stayed in my BIL’s large country house when he and his family were away. PIL came over one day and we went out leaving them there. When we came back the whole house was ransacked. Personal papers pulled out of drawers and cupboards, papers, books all
askew. Even the tape out of the answering machine had been taken out.

We were so embarrassed, BIL must have thought we had done it. It turned out PIL were never allowed in the upstairs of the house or left unattended there. Long story but they had lived in the house previously and fallen out with BIL.

@maybemu

I always wonder about these MIL stories because I love my MIL but one of the DIL's has had a very difficult past with her. I always wonder what the other side of the story is. Some have got to be straight up crazy but I think sometimes it's women not getting along

Same In my family. I like my mil, but my SIL can't stand her and takes offence at everything she does. She can't do right for wrong

@SoundWithoutAName, would there be any similar-looking classmates of your DC you could include on the canvas as a substitute then see how long it takes for her to notice? or a 'Where's Wally?' montage of images?

Wolfff that is shocking- not suprised you were mortified

My mil when we got engaged "what did you do that for?" When DH was standing at the alter "you don't have to do this - she will ruin you life!" (Nb we are still married 20.5 yrs later!) She has done her best to come between us during our 2.5 yr engagement too!

Had not has!

Anyway for me my FIL is overall a nightmare but my DH is ill and his mother has become nightmare. Seeing everything about his care and treatment as a competition. Calling doctors behind my back when he was in hospital, calling BIL to tell him she was 'saving' her DS whilst ignoring any comms from me.Told my DC she was dissapointed in them as they werent queueing up at the door to bid farewell to there father before his surgery at 7am. Said 'you do realise your father could die and you will have no money! Just to add I work fulltime in a senior role and am well paid. When we found his cancer has spread and he told her that me and the DC were his priority she cried saying 'what about me' I gave birth to you. Shocking and I have an adult DC now myself and have a great relationship with his GF and have with all of them, but I am not a jealous asshole and would never be nasty to any of my DC partners or future spouses even if I wasnt a fan

@Charcutaria

I'm sure that all you mothers of sons with the nasty Mil stories are going to be the best ever most perfect MILs NOT.

That makes zero sense, @Charcutaria! Why are these women bound to be bad mothers-in-law, simply because their mothers-in-law have behaved abominably to them? Aren’t they more likely to be good - even excellent - mothers-in-law for the good reason that they know what it is like to be treated badly as a daughter-in-law?

When you read some of the accounts on this thread, of some really nasty behaviour from these women towards their DILs, surely you can understand why these posters feel they were badly treated by their MILs - frankly I don’t think anyone with a shred of empathy could fail to sympathise with the posters on here!

And yes, I have sons - one of whom got engaged very recently - so I will be a MIL - and there is no way I will do any of the abominable things these MILs have done. I was lucky to have a lovely MIL - kind, supportive, fun to spend time with, fair minded (if she thought her son was in the wrong and I was in the right, he got TOLD) - and I fully intend to follow her example. Sadly she died of pancreatic cancer, and I miss her terribly, even now.

Mine's a general point: I've nothing to say about my MiL.

I'm baffled by all these power struggles going on between mothers-in-law and their daughters-in-law. It's not very clever. Surely any MiL must know that taking on her DiL is a battle she can't possibly win. Her son will likely take his wife's side, eventually if not straightaway. And if taken to the nth degree, the logical conclusion will be that it will end in an estrangement.

Why? What mother of a son in her right senses is would want to bring that sort of situation about? Is it more important to her to be 'right' than maintain a relationship with her son and grandchild?

It sadly seems this is the case. I've read a lot of detail elsewhere on the subject of grandparents' rights and the story is always the same. The grandparents almost always, overwhelmingly, insist not only that they have done nothing wrong but they have no idea why their adult son is NC and refuses to have a relationship with them. They very often also insist that the women their son married is to blame for the whole situation. The Adult Son and his wife just as strongly insist that their errant parents know exactly what's brought them to this position. On this side of the argument at least, they're likely to give some form of explanation.

It's the same story repeated on a loop ad nauseam, and there must be a reason for it although I don't claim to know what that is.

Is it really worth it?

My ex mil rang my mum up, pretending to be a friend of mine from university, to get information about me.
Then she rang her son (my ex) to say I'd been telling lies. My ex didn't question his mother's bizarre behaviour.

When I had my daughter, when she was a month old my MIL made thank you cards for baby pressies for her friends and family and posted them out with our names on, because we hadn't done it yet. I was livid! She was lovely pre-baby but then she became ridiculously interfering in the worst way, and not at all helpful.

My mil sulked because my sister hadn’t invited her friends to my suprise hen party. Mil refused to come because her friends would see her at said party and would be upset they weren’t invited.

I told her that it was fine and it was her choice. She still maintains that I banned her

MIL and FIL are both absolute cunts - I’ve been NC with FIL for almost 6 years and it’s bliss.

I’ve got 2 DSs and I can’t wait to be a MIL. The thought of them both being happy and loved by someone outside of our family, settled and stable just makes my heart swell (they are both currently under 6) 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've been with my husband 10 years and met my MIL maybe 5 times.

She asked him to come collect Christmas cards for his children one year, he took the kids to see her and she gave them all £5 in a card. As they were leaving she told DH that she'd spent her last £20 on the cards and money and would have no electric for her flat so could he pay her back! He gave her the £20 and she asked him to drop her at the shop so she could pick up some cigarettes!

@johnstownflood

I'm guessing you're not a MIL yourself yet OP ? I'm not either and I think I'm a pretty nice person but there is so much vitriol on MN against MILs that I'm feeling quite nervous at the prospect.

Surely there must be some DILs that actually like their MIL ?

Probably but the clue is in the title....

@Zilla1 I had considered this lol

@SoundWithoutAName you should do the portrait with face masks on.

Wore black to our wedding. 😂 and tried to get dressed in the bridal suite.

I didn't exchange more than a brief sentence with her on the day.

Probably when she shouted in my face over something I hadn't even done not that she bothered asking who the culprit was. I told her to fuck right off. Felt good. We're now okay after months of not speaking .

@Teana89 Excellent idea!