To ask about your worst CF MIL stories?

[MessyMummy15]

I'm actually very lucky to have a lovely mother in law now but my ex's mum was something else!

Once when I had to move in with her temporarily for a couple of week. I had taken my first shower in the house. Afterwards she came to find me and frogmarched me to the bathroom telling me that she doesn't like the shower curtain getting wet and to fold it back when I'm showering which is already 🤔
The next time I had a shower I did as she asked and then asked her where I could find a mop / towel to clean the water on the floor (since you know... there's no shower curtain) she had the biggest flip out when she discovered there was a smal puddle on the floor and the bathroom mat was a bit wet.
She also told me that I wasn't allowed to use the towels as they was for display? (Wasn't going to they was about a million years old)
She proceeded to tell my ex that I was trying to destroy the house. Baffles me to this day how she washed??

That woman has made me sooo thankful for the MIL I have now!

What's your CF MIL stories? The crazier the better!!

@MessyMummy15

More stories about that same exMIL keep popping into my head

When I had recently moved into her house I politely declined dinner one evening as I had already evening and she took it the wrong way. From then on she would bring my ex hot steaming full roast dinners etc up to the room and never bring me any dinners because "I was obviously too good for her food" I lived off crisps for the 9 months I was living there until I ended up in hospital severely ill and deficient in every victims you can think of. 😒

OK so she was a cf in not cooking for you, but why didn't you cook for yourself?! And why stay as long with her?

[quote MadeForThis]@MessyMummy15 your ex didn't share his meal with you? I can see why he's an ex![/quote]
Ex needed to put his Mother in her place!

I met mil a year into our relationship... Dh had not long reconciled with her after she cheated on his df...
She made a fuss of my dc, wanting to be referred to as dgm. I agreed as they didn't have any family but me.....
We had a ds and she backed away massively... As in lived 10 mins away and never visited. Never asked how I was despite having a prem baby and emcs. Dumped us all then emailed all her friends to say we had cut her out of ds's life!!
Been nearly 6 years now.

@Rainbowandscarlett

My ex’s mum cleared out my wardrobe-and took the lot on holiday with her (we lived with her for a year)

My clothes,shoes,handbag,make up,perfume,jewellery and hair brush all lost or damaged

She lost or damaged quite a lot of my stuff-even though it was all in our room-she’d think nothing of having a snoop

She’d eat my food and allowed her other grandkids to break my babies stuff/eat her food (they broke the carrycot to my £1000 pram and she just laughed-I couldn’t sell it on once I’d finished with it)

She’d think nothing of taking my babies dummies to give to her 6 year old grandson

She stole money from me and would steal anything if it wasn’t pinned down

Kept calling herself mummy with my first born-but didn’t want to know my second

We moved out,round the corner and I’d left a bag of my babies clothes by mistake-she demanded I go back to collect it-when I got the bag home I found she’d got her other son to spunk/shit all over them

We moved about half hour away,to a bigger house and she refused to have anything to do with them

Fast forward 18 years later my first born was in Tesco with her cousin and they saw her behind the deli counter where she worked

Dd said hello and told her who she was-only to be greeted with a barrage of abuse and swear words

She made a sharp exit and hasn’t bothered with her since

Somehow it’s all my fault and she’ll ’never forgive me’

Omg. That's just beyond words

@MessyMummy15

More stories about that same exMIL keep popping into my head

When I had recently moved into her house I politely declined dinner one evening as I had already evening and she took it the wrong way. From then on she would bring my ex hot steaming full roast dinners etc up to the room and never bring me any dinners because "I was obviously too good for her food" I lived off crisps for the 9 months I was living there until I ended up in hospital severely ill and deficient in every victims you can think of. 😒

With all due respect, why didn't you cook for yourself or ask your DH to explain? Did you not eat breakfast or lunch either? Ending up in hospital was your fault not hers

@formerbabe

We were having a lovely Christmas day with my family...kids playing with cousins. We had to cut it short to pick mil up from bil to drive her home. She is too tight to pay for a taxi despite being very wealthy. We were so skint that year we could barely afford the petrol. We picked her up, cutting the dcs Christmas day short, she sat in the car in silence for over an hour. Barely said thank you or happy Christmas. I was seething.

I mean you could have just said no sorry we can't give you a lift?!

[quote MessyMummy15]@EdwardBear1920
Yeah it does seem a bit extreme when I read it back. I purposely left out some details to stop it getting too heavy but I was very young and only had a Saturday job while I studied so all the money I had was basically going to her for "rent"
I did get one solid meal a week when I used to go visit my dad.
She would also yell at me for some small reason every time I went downstairs to use the kitchen so I just stopped trying altogether. The food I had was kept in a drawer in the bedroom and included bottles of water, crisps, biscuits and nuts etc. But I had to ration it.
The whole situation was actually extremely abusive and I'm glad I know better now but at the time as a teenager I just took it for what it was. 🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
Ahhh I didn't realise you were a teenager

To be honest OP I think you are the unreasonable one in the story. Taking free accommodation then criticising your MiLs house habits and bringing cats to her house.

The accommodation was not free: the OP was giving all her, admittedly limited, earnings to the MIL as rent. (At a time when she herself was virtually starving.)

It was the then-husband, not the OP, who brought the cats.

I don't see anywhere that she criticized the MIL's own house habits. All the criticism seemed to come from the MIL.

The only thing that seems U of the OP is sticking with the arrangement for so long. And with a husband who wouldn't even think of sharing his food with her.

I mean you could have just said no sorry we can't give you a lift?

Oh I'd have happily said that...unfortunately dh organised it and won't hear a,negative word said about her

My ex MIL was vile, thank God I'm not married to her son any more.
She abandoned my ex husband as a small baby becuae he ruined her social life and just pissed off.
Came back into his life as an adult and used to rant and rave all the time about how useless he was and he never did anything for her.
She looked like the back end of a bus but nonetheless was the oldest swinger in town always on dating apps different man in her bed every 5 minutes and loved to tell me all the details. I swear it gave me PTSD.
Would get her large belly out and show me how she didn't have any stretch marks . Yuck.
Thank God I don't have to suffer her any more.

I'm guessing you're not a MIL yourself yet OP ? I'm not either and I think I'm a pretty nice person but there is so much vitriol on MN against MILs that I'm feeling quite nervous at the prospect.

Surely there must be some DILs that actually like their MIL ?

My MIL is generally fairly pleasant and we get on fine. But she is used to being put first by all her family (by her parents who only passed away a few years ago, and also by FIL and DH). She believes herself to be especially sensitive and thinks that no-one else around her feels as much as she does etc. This has lead to a few WTF moments:

• DH took the day of work to come with me to the funeral of a very close family member who had died suddenly and very young. MIL found out he was not at work and couldn't understand why he insisted on being with me rather than going to visit her for the day. Apparently hearing what had happened to my family 'brought back all the shock and grief' from when she lost her mum (aged 90+ so hardly a shock). We did go to see her after the funeral etc and she was fine.
• She came with us to a funeral of another member of my family that she vaguely knew (much older so not as much a shock, but someone I was close to). When we took her home she commented on what a lovely day out she'd had (nothing along the lines of nice to see people, shame it was in these circumstances etc etc- just 'Ooh, I've had a really lovely day').
• This one's really minor, but sums her up perfectly. We always buy copies of the kids school photos for us, each set of grandparents and a few other older relatives who like them. One year she was visiting when the kids brought them home and without asking opened the pack and started sorting through them. The pack included 1 big photo, 2 medium and a few smaller ones so we'd planned to keep the large on, give each set of GP a medium one and smaller for other relatives. She put the large photo (for her) and half the smaller ones (to give to her friends) in her bag. When DH questioned her she said only the large photo would fit in the space she'd made for it and if why didn't we want her to give 'her share' of the small photos with her friends. According to her the kids' photos were the most precious thing to her and it was her right as a GP to have them. DH handed her the medium photo and the price list for extra copies- telling her she was welcome to buy whatever she wanted directly (she didn't so I assume they were not quite so precious to her after all).

Sorry just re-read your post OP - you do have a MIL and you do like her - phew there is hope for me then !

My ex’s mum cleared out my wardrobe-and took the lot on holiday with her (we lived with her for a year)

Not mine, but I remember a heartbreaking thread from a while ago where a nasty MIL had gone in to her DS & DIL's house (might have had a key to go and feed the cat or something - can't remember the exact reason) and taken it upon herself to 'clear up a load of the clutter making the house a complete tip'. The house was in fact very tidy; what she actually did was go searching and found a shoebox in the bottom of the wardrobe full of DIL's treasured, irreplaceable old photos of deceased family, memories, special keepsakes - obviously something very precious to the owner and in no way junk - and chucked the whole lot in the bin, knowing that the bin men would have been and gone before they returned. She didn't throw anything else away at all and sat there smirking as she saw the anguish in her DIL's face.

Whilst their behaviour is obviously devastating for their victims, I really cannot see how any of these people can actually enjoy their own lives, being so consumed with hatred and vindictiveness towards others for no actual reason; the same in the other current thread about the random nastiness of strangers.

"she’d got her other son to spunk/shit all over them"

How does that conversation even start?

"Quick question, you ever thought about wanking in to a bag full of your nephews clothes? "

OP; why did your then husband allow his mother to treat you like that?

These threads drive me mad. Your mother in law can insist she saves your money for you, but its your money. Just dont give it to her surely?

I'm guessing you're not a MIL yourself yet OP ? I'm not either and I think I'm a pretty nice person but there is so much vitriol on MN against MILs that I'm feeling quite nervous at the prospect.

Surely there must be some DILs that actually like their MIL ?

There are some mentioned on this very thread.

Like with the useless and/or abusive husband threads, people aren't likely to think "My MIL/DH is great - can be slightly thoughtless on the odd occasion, as can we all, but I love her/him very much - I must go on MN and tell everybody".

Maybe we should have a thread where people tell of all the lovely, kind things their much-loved MILs have done for them. My own MIL is wonderful, but we so often tend to just take the good for granted.

We are NC with my MIL.

She called social services on us after DH defended me over something which she accused me of, and which was absolute lies. And my DH knew it. My children were both under 3 at that time.

And then we received a number of death threats from the criminals MIL allowed to come and go as they pleased in her home.

She has told the most truly awful lies about me and my husband.

I mean, there were many red flags before this happened, but I tried to see past them for the sake of my DH. My mistake.

@johnstownflood

I'm guessing you're not a MIL yourself yet OP ? I'm not either and I think I'm a pretty nice person but there is so much vitriol on MN against MILs that I'm feeling quite nervous at the prospect.

Surely there must be some DILs that actually like their MIL ?

I have a lovely MIL who is generous, kind and helpful. I like her and I would like her even if I wasn't married to her son

I said I didn’t want visitors in hospital after having DS. She told me she was calling social services and would have him removed because she had been waiting 9 months to meet her baby and I was trying to ruin her big moment.

I would let her come round in lockdown one because you know... lockdown. She rang DH and said I was keeping her from her grandchildren and I was a ‘disgusting rude human who didn’t deserve to have children’

She went on holiday for 8 weeks years ago, and her birthday was in the middle. We made her a birthday card but didn’t get her a present, when she got back she asked where her present was and we told her we would take her to lunch instead because she was on holiday - she then told my DH that she wishes he was never born because she didn’t raise a child to be that disrespectful.

There’s been an event a few weeks ago that has REALLY taken the biscuit. Sadly too outing to tell you all because I know you would 100% be on my side!

I despise her beyond despair but as toxic as she is, we can’t get rid of her.

@Flyingpig47

My ex mil told me it was all my fault that my ex stole my money and cheated on me because I wasn't a very good cook and didn't make him nice meals.

Yeah, I was told the reason my ExH abused me was because I was overweight and he was so incredibly worried I would die because of my horrific BMI.

My BMI was in the mid to high 30's (so not absolutely awful) and his mum was about three stone heavier than I was

"she’d got her other son to spunk/shit all over them"

How does that conversation even start?

"Quick question, you ever thought about wanking in to a bag full of your nephews clothes? "

She sounds like the kind of parent who probably spent years normalising utterly repulsive, boundary-leaping behaviour throughout her children's childhoods, so that her son wouldn't necessarily think much more of being asked to do something filthy like that than somebody else would at being asked to make a cup of tea or to stop off at the local shop for some bread.

Her other son thankfully managed to escape relatively unscathed and realise that it wasn't normal - and that's probably the exact reason why she's treating him and her DIL the way she does, precisely because they no longer let her control them or dance to her tune. She probably still feels some vestigial family bond with her son, hence DIL is the evil cow who's taken him away from her and is to be the focus of her rage.

My ILs are lovely, but live a couple of hundred miles away so I don't see them that often. It doesn't make for interesting stories!

My mother-in-law is lovely🥰 My father-in-law can be a massive dick; he is very rude, overbearing and has the hide of a rhino.
However we overlook most of it because he is not an intentionally nasty person; just very thoughtless.

However, I suspect my parents are the nightmare in-laws in my marriage, for many reasons which I shan't go into here.