To think London commute towns are no better than Edinburgh for raising a family?

[JenXG]

So basically DH and I are having a debate on whether to leave Edinburgh and move to a commute town outside London. (we have to stick with Edinburgh / London as working in financial sector but both of us would avoid London because of traffic/pollution/crowded streets).

The main reason for DH favouring those commute towns is that they seem to have loads of good schools for DS (4mo) to choose from compared to Edinburgh where there are only a few (or hardly any if his standard). He has high hope for DS. Also the A-level system is widely recognised across different countries (so potential for studying overseas) but the same cant be said for the Scotland system.

My worry is that we are giving up preferred lifestyle for a very small difference in schooling. I grew up in a big city and always need busy streets nearby. I understand some places such as Guildford will have its own town centre but there are still fewer things going on compared to Edinburgh. For example, there are a wide range of fine restuarants, several theatres & cinemas, pubs, etc in Edinburgh but living in Guildford we'd still have to go to London for a night out? I'd assume activities for young kids are more available in Edinburgh than in Guildford? E.g. Edinburgh has a zoo, lots of museums, and a coastline where you can do kayaking. Also Guildford is one of the busier towns as I understand. Some other commute towns are even quieter. So we'd highly likely end up travelling to London a lot which is not fun (I'm far more used to walking or driving a little bit to favourite places than hours of trains/tubes).

What do people think? I haven't been to many places in the southern area. Maybe I have misunderstood what life would be like there? Would you relocate if you were us?

God, I missed the Guildford bit. Just no. People in Guildford tell you it is amazing because of one bloody okish theatre, a few small galleries and some nice but certainly not uniquely outstanding countryside a drive away. Just like most small towns. They just really need to get out more to a proper city (there are several apart from London but this seems to pass them by). It is a small, quite pretty but very suburban dull town. I lived in the bloody place and still have to return to the area. Hate it

@GreenlandTheMovie Gordonstoun is in Moray not Aberdeenshire.

@GreenlandTheMovie

"I hate to break it to you, but Gordonstoun is a boarding school some 170 miles from Edinburgh, in rural Aberdeenshire. Fettes has a high proportion of pupils from outwith Scotland."

Don't say, is it really... (bangs head). We were talking about good schools, which to my mind includes boarding schools. Surrey is what it is, part of the commuter belt, no identity, no anything remarkable, really. You'd be sending your child to a boarding school most likely anyway if looking for a good school.

Stay in Edinburgh. I have no aspirations to ever live in a commuter town.

Many if not most private schools in Edinburgh teach A Levels as standard.

Highers however are also internationally recognised qualifications.

@GreenlandTheMovie I think you might have misunderstood me. I was referring specifically to the fact that the husband seems to think that there will be some administrative barrier to studying abroad because Scottish Highers might not be understood in application forms but somehow the whole world knows what an A-level is. That has to be nonsense, surely academic institutions the world over are used to dealing with qualifications from countless different educational systems.

My Latin teacher was, in retrospect, a rampant Scottish Nationalist who really did believe Edinburgh was academically superior to Cambridge. She was certainly right about Scottish universities being world class (so in that regard I quoted her as a credible source for the idea that Oxbridge is not the be all and end-all). However she was wrong in thinking that perceived academic superiority was the only reason I applied to Cambridge. I really wanted to spread my wings and recall being very put off when I read how many Glasgow students came from central Scotland.

In my experience of 30 years of working in the U.K. and overseas, the world is full of Scots in high positions whose lack of A-levels doesn’t seem to have held them back. Your husband sounds remarkably narrow minded.

KatieGGGG

Remember there is also a new rail link south of Edinburgh the new borders route- some lovely semi rural places, and house prices very affordable.
I can be in Princes street in 19 minutes, quicker than a bus journey time from Morningside at rush hour.
There is also a rail link to East Lothian some beautiful villages along the unspoilt East coast, mostly nature reserve- again Longniddry to Edinburgh Centre is 18 minutes.
It's not all about being stuck out at the Gyle or Musselburgh.

I live in the heart of ancient woodland, surrounded by deer, otters, kingfishers.
It takes me 20 minutes to get into the heart of the capital, without going near sherrifhall.

We’ve just bought a house on Scotland having lived in various parts of the south east/west from inner city London to minuscule villages. I agree that the weather on Scotland is pretty crap but there are so many other positives wonderful countryside breathtaking scenery, the sea, mountains Lochs forestry etc, not heaving in tourists (I’m aware this doesn’t apply to Edinburgh) we find the Scots generally very friendly and welcoming, Your public transport system is a million times better than anything we’ve ever experienced outside of central London we’re moving to a tiny village loads of buses taking you places you might actually want to go too. I know Glasgow very well it’s a fab city with loads of culture restaurants etc.
I wouldn’t live in Guildford you paid me.
I guess Edinburgh house prices are pretty high and I can’t comment on Guildford house prices but we found in the Scottish villages you got a lot more house for your money than you ever would in the south east/west.
Lastly do you want to commute to work? I did for years nothing would persuade me to do again.

Katie GGGG @GreenlandTheMovie as OP is considering Fettes I’m fairly certain their means don’t chain them to a “new build” in South Gyle, a cramped flat in Comely Bank, or moving to Musselburgh.

There’s quite a significant amount of options above that in Edinburgh - which OP will know as she lives there. None of them anywhere near Lasswade or sheriff hall rab either.

Well, goodness, cut out my tongue and burn me at the stake for not realising just how wealthy and purely urban-dwelling the OP is compared to the likes of us mere professionals who know Edinburgh well, and her very few specific, sufficiently desirable areas.

The point of my post was however to go some way to dispelling the notion that many have of Edinburgh, based on the New Town in a slightly misty photograph taken 2 years ago with no traffic visible.

Most people cannot afford to live in the New Town. I do, and its a traffic-dense nightmare which is constantly being dug up. I have no garden. It takes 5 minutes to cross a single road due to lack of pedestrian crossings and those that exist only get you halfway across. And lets not start talking about the rumoured resurrection of statutory notices, where one local authority can, by law, force over-priced building repairs to the tune of turning into a multi-million pound industry, where former employees are jailed for fraud.

@AmadeustheAlpaca

Some Edinburgh state schools have pupils every year who go to Oxbridge. My son went to an average Edinburgh state school and one of his mates plus his two sisters went to Cambridge.

As a Scottish state school who went to Cambridge myself I am living proof of this.

However I don’t think your example is a great one because there must have been some strong family culture (maybe parents went there), investment in tutoring, general academic home environment for three siblings all to go to Oxbridge.

@AgentProvocateur

In my experience of 30 years of working in the U.K. and overseas, the world is full of Scots in high positions whose lack of A-levels doesn’t seem to have held them back. Your husband sounds remarkably narrow minded.

This.

We used to live in St Albans and Harpenden and I also taught in a secondary school in Harpenden. V. good schools, yes, but pretty dull and monocultural. Great if you like golf and the Daily Mail and think owning a Range Rover validates your existence. I would choose Edinburgh over a home counties commuter town any day. The weather is the only downside.

I think if your child is already 4 months then you've left it a bit late to be deciding on a university for them.

If your 4 month old is going to be so damn bright, why are you worried about schools? My daughter's best pal went to Cambridge from our shitty local comp - now that is bright.

Anyway, Edinburgh is hands down one of the best cities in Europe, but if you think Guildford compares I suspect it woud be wasted on you in any case.

@FelicityPike

That’s a lot of pressure to put on a four MONTH old! What Fettes and the like not good enough for this as yet undiscovered child genius? Your husband’s an idiot.

🤣 (sorry) That is a lot of pressure on a small child.

Is there a castle perched on an extinct volcano in the town centre in Guilford?

Trust me, from someone who was born and raised in Edinburgh and moved to England in mid 20s (Due to work), stick with the most beautiful city in the world.

Even my children who were both born in England and have always lived here, they are now both in late primary school, ask why we moved here. They also ask when we will be moving back as they love Edinburgh and can't understand why we moved.

there must have been some strong family culture (maybe parents went there), investment in tutoring, general academic home environment for three siblings all to go to Oxbridge

DH and his sister were the first people in their entire extended family to go to any university, did not come from a remotely academic family, and were the first and second from their rough as hell school to go to Oxbridge. None of the above applies. I think that having an older sibling do something can be a powerful motivator for others to follow though.

@seaclaidte

Is there a castle perched on an extinct volcano in the town centre in Guilford?

Trust me, from someone who was born and raised in Edinburgh and moved to England in mid 20s (Due to work), stick with the most beautiful city in the world.

Even my children who were both born in England and have always lived here, they are now both in late primary school, ask why we moved here. They also ask when we will be moving back as they love Edinburgh and can't understand why we moved.

Yes there is a castle perched on a hill in the middle of Guildford. Whether it's volcanic rock I'm not sure.

Gosh I feel sorry for your baby if it doesn’t live up to you Hs super high expectations! And I say this as someone with multiple letters after my name from Oxbridge type places. Surely you just want them to have a good education and be happy.

DH doesn't like the fact that very few some years nil students get into Oxbridge from these schools while schools like Royal Grammar School sends c20% to oxbridge each year (yes..I know. Having eyes on oxbridge with DS only being 4mo sounds crazy. But i'm not blaming him for having high hope as both families run a history of being very academic.

Absolutely terrifying.

I disagree with the idea that Scottish people/Scottish students are all very limited and parochial. But even if they were, I would bet that a child whose father is already trying to set up Oxbridge admissions at 4 months old will not be held back by any perceived Scottish unambitiousness.

@willstarttomorrow

God, I missed the Guildford bit. Just no. People in Guildford tell you it is amazing because of one bloody okish theatre, a few small galleries and some nice but certainly not uniquely outstanding countryside a drive away. Just like most small towns. They just really need to get out more to a proper city (there are several apart from London but this seems to pass them by). It is a small, quite pretty but very suburban dull town. I lived in the bloody place and still have to return to the area. Hate it

But that's rather harsh @willstarttomorrow. Some people like small suburban towns rather than big cities. There are a million worse places to live than Guildford.

I think the OP's husband thinks that because he doesn't know about Scottish qualifications admissions professionals at top unis haven't either .

I would not say that Scotland has the monopoly on crap weather in the UK. I'm in East Dunbartonshire, so west coast, notoriously wet and this year we've had a similar amount of good weather to my in-laws in East Anglia. Ok we didn't get quite as hot but we've probably had fewer days of 'meh', cool and clear, freezing and clear, generally nice enough with clear spells.

Of course we've had torrential downpours (and snow) but then so did they.

We definitely get more variety of weather rather than grey mizzle.

No worse than my memories of uni in Birmingham